"Oh my baby girl, " Martha sobbed, as she saw Lana then grabbed her in a bone crushing hug.

When she let her go, Martha stepped back and placed her at her at arms length, tears still in her eyes. "You look good, a little thin but good. Grew your hair out. It's down your back now. "

Truth was she didn't have the time- she only had a day free if she couldn't stand- and money- the agency only gave her enough to survive on- to schedule the fancy appointments she used to.

Dannie was her hair stylist. She had two working eyes that could tell her when the ends were looking raggedy and two working hands that could cut them in between practice sessions.

"Yes mama. Ava, uh, how are you?"

She looked as though she didn't know what to answer for a moment. Lana didn't blame her, she just hadn't known what else to ask.

"Dirty," Ava settled on.

And that they were. Lana couldn't even guess what they were wearing but whatever it was, it was in tatters. Nor the colour of their skin that was covered in a layer of grime. "Right this way. "

While they bathed, Lana tried to make something to eat. But her basic skills were not working so she gave up and ordered noodles.

"Mom's asking for you, " Ava said walking into the living room in a pair of jeans and white tee, then settled down and started eating.

"Mama?" Lana called. " You couldn't find something that fit you?"

But she had. A flowy peach dress with flower patterns.

"Lana," she started, her voice steeled but there were more tears glistening in her eyes, "you must have worked your butt off to earn however much they wanted. "

She would have but they wouldn't take cash. A life for a life, they had said.

"Your father collapsed about four months back. I don't know if he's still alive. He's probably not. "

She could live with that.

"I love him but I know he's not a good man anymore. I would not ask you to try for him, " she said, her voice getting choked up.

Wasn't going to, even if she had asked.

"And they killed Jeremy. "

Lana didn't know if she'd wanted her mother to know she knew. Which she would have. Lana couldn't have conjured up tears or even changed the bare expression on her face to resemble one that was shocked.

Her mother had taken the that decision out of her hand by burying her face in hers and sobbing, so much that she barely heard her when she continued, "Its not your fault, Lana. You must know this. If you could not pay that is not your fault. It has been a year, you have tried. Held on more than I could have hoped. "

Ah, though it was her fault.

But the alternative was Dorian. And his mother and seventeen year old epileptic brother would loose the protection he offered.

It didn't equal what she had lost but she wasn't angry at them.

"Thank you, Lana." Martha raised her head.

Her brown eyes were tired and still shinning with tears, her hair was thinning and she got gotten wrinkles that weren't supposed to be due for another ten years.

"For everything you've done, " she continued. "This old woman must have still done something right in her life to have gotten such beautiful, wonderful children. "

Then she smiled. A big, joyous, watery smile that made Lana genuinely smile back before she was pulled into another hug that threatened to break her.

She managed a smile for Ava too, who didn't look her sixteen years, after she had finished crying on her shoulder.

Lana didn't cry though. She couldn't. Wasn't angry either. Just couldn't be angry.

Yes, she was delighted that they were back with her, had their life back. Overjoyed, happy.

But times like this when she was alone with her mind, all she felt was sad. Really sad. A big ole bucket of it.

Those two emotions, and the numb in between, were all she was capable of.

Lana watched her mother and Ava, who had become quiet sleepers, huddle together. It had affected them so much.

Sad.

She went back to the couch in the living room, numb.

But as she lay, listening to nothing, she knew what else she could do.

Happy.

"I want to see the Chief of Police. "

She must have fallen asleep after sometime but, shockingly, had risen with her mom at the crack of dawn. And even more shockingly, so had Ava.

"I'm sorry miss, but he's not seeing anyone now, " the desk sergeant replied politely. "May I direct you to Constable Shenon?"

"Tell him it's about a Dorian. "

Within two minutes she was standing outside his office. He invited her in and offered her a seat. "Yes, Miss?"

She took it. "My name is Lana Meryl Bently. Do you know where Dorian is?"

"No miss. He's just... disappeared, " Mr McMagie said, arranging some flyaway papers on his otherwise neat desk.

"Yes. Yesterday night. With his mom and brother. Apart from them, you're the only person he mentioned. "

The elderly man sat back in his chair and smiled, running a hand through black hair that was quite much for the age he looked to be.

"Yes, he's keeping in touch for four more days because of you Lana. I can get your message to him but I don't know where he is. "

"I need to make my family disappear with his. "

"Alright. "

Lana was quite surprised he'd agreed so easily."Just like that?"

"Yup, " the COP said popping the p. "He told me to give you anything you asked. Within reason, of course. Considering what you did for him, I'd say this is within reason."

He continued, with what looked suspiciously like a hint of tears in his light blue eyes. "I'm not happy to have him vanish from my life but thank you so much Lana."

She nodded and stood. "They'll be here in twenty minutes. "

He stood too. Kept in shape, she saw. "They'll? What about you?"

"If I'm not back here in twenty four hours, he should not try to find me. I'll be dead. "

Lana looked at her mom and sister.

They hadn't really mentioned Jeremy, not counting when Martha had though she was breaking the news to her but they'd be OK.

Martha would do something to try and cheer Ava up and Ava would smile even if it didn't really work.

And even though she didn't like it very much- always pointed out it was spoilt milk- Ava had told a fussing Martha not to worry and refused the offer to get a new one when the pizza had come with cheese.

Might be because she was the one who went out to get the pizza and just did not want to go again.

Might also be because she had been the one to add the cheese that was definitely not in the apartment prior to her trip. Lana had put the rest of the block away.

It was Martha's favorite topping. And snack.

Ava didn't forget the cheese as they were leaving.

In the backpack, she also carried was all the money Lana had in her life. The little she'd managed to save.

In the one her mother carried were nick knacks she couldn't bear to leave behind as well as pictures of thier family. The only one containing her husband was the one Martha held, the one that no longer hung in her living room.

And at the very bottom of the bag was a letter from her.

If she survived, they'd most likely not read the letter. If she didn't they would know she was dead, that she was sorry and she loved them so, so, so damn much.

She had told them they were leaving for a new beginning. But she just had a friend to say goodbye to and they should go ahead.

"See ya!" Ava shouted as he waved, her head out of the window too.

"Bye!" she replied waving back, keeping the smile in her face until she couldn't see the car anymore.

The excuse wasn't a lie.

Dannie wasn't home. It made things easier. Yet harder.

She accepted Mrs Frisher's invitation to sit for a while and have cookies. The old lady still had her wit and humour so they always had a good time.

This was no different. She had very strong opinions on the ways to stop the country from "going to hell in a hand basket."

She left the letter with Mrs Frisher and asked her to give it to Dannie in the morning. Not when she got home.

If she survived, she, especially, would never even see it. There were some soppy things to her and Mrs Frisher in there that Dannie would never let her live down.

She waved - and hollered - goodbye to Mrs Frisher as she took a cab.