Daffodil : A Silent Companion
bored_mama

92 / 100

I really liked how the title suits the story, I've read Dandelion, I don't know if you remember me. But my old account used to be Slytherinchick25, and since I've read the first book, I really do feel the title is suitable for the story, even though it seems long along with the subtitle. Usually, Daffodils represent new beginnings and re-birth, along with joy, cheerfulness, and happiness. It was the first thought that occurred to me when I saw the book title. Also, edit : I am surprised I was so right. The reason for the title was in the 2nd chapter!

So, I liked how the book cover looked, but I saw a few issues as a graphic designer myself. I liked how the theme was incorporated in the cover, but I did feel its resolution could be a bit better. And the last issue would be the subtitle placement, "A Silent Companion" could be aligned to be in the center of the title "Daffodil" and be a bit smaller. It could definitely be perfect.

I really loved how you began the description with an intriguing question, it piques the reader's interest in the book, looking forward to what the story holds in its pages. "It is said that vampires are soulless creatures, they do not have a conscience, they are Monsters. But is that really true? Can there be an exception?" I loved this line because it really spurred an interest in me to open the book and read it as soon as possible. I felt the grammar was written with utmost perfection, I loved your impeccable style of writing. But I do feel there could have been an excerpt or line that expressed the whole theme of the story in one or two lines. Maybe something for people to catch their interest.

The opening chapter was exactly the chapter that hooked me into the story, the emotions it captured, the way a mother takes care of her daughters, a daughter's promise to her mother, the word given by the king to his queen. I loved it all. I felt every emotion displayed by all the characters, even the youngest daughters whose eyes "were now streaked with tears".

For me, in the first few chapters, these are the things I noted about the characters :

Rebecca : She is a compassionate, kind-hearted, beautiful, strong lady whose resistance is way beyond anything and anyone. The way she kept calm, and hurt herself for someone else, who she didn't even know is commendable and just shocking and for some reason, I feel proud of her. She would do anything and everything for her small family, consisting of her lovely sister and caring, understanding father.

Duke Zephyr : A caring, understanding father to his two daughters and the perfect husband to his wife, Duke Zephyr would do anything for the women in his life. Following the word given to his wife, he works hard to get his elder daughter a suitable consort that meets her expectations.

Aldous : The extremely charming, handsome man, who comes to Harpewill, seeking the hand of Rebecca. His words are smooth and poise, capturing the hearts of all. But Rebecca seems to beware of him, rightly so. He turns out from the handsome poised Duke to an evil vampire whose thoughts are extremely vile and nefarious.

Victoria : Rebecca's lovely, beautiful, bright daughter, who cares a lot for her sister. In the first few chapters, I don't think there were a lot of Victoria's characteristics imprinted in the chapters.

To be honest, I would have really expected a love story between Rebecca and Aldous. His words and thoughts, to me, seemed to be something totally out of the world. But the turn of events was just wow.

I loved the way you write, the mechanics are just perfect. The vocabulary was beautiful. It really did enhance your writing, the lovely adjectives used, the imagery. It's all just exemplary. I really enjoyed the precise writing, and the word count felt perfect for a chapter. The dividers and the quotes used paved the way for the story to flow smoothly.

The pace was not too slow, not too fast. It was in between and suitable for the story. The way each event came one after the other, without any fillers was really easy to read and was fun to explore.

I loved how the plot thickened in each chapter, at the first glimpse, I felt it was a love story of sorts. But as I read each chapter, I loved getting to know more and more about the book. The way it was paced was just amazing!

I didn't notice any grammatical errors. But the usage of various expressions, especially imagery, was beautiful. The punctuation, vocabulary, everything was a beautiful mix.

I really enjoyed the book, the plot twists and I hope to read the rest of the book very soon!

Half Brothers
kinalhariya

71.5 / 100

I felt the title was something that has been used too much. It wasn't unique, nor did it specify the genre. It could have been a bit more unique and catchy.

The cover is a very integral part of a story, so I would ask you to get a better cover. I can tell you the issues in the same, this font is not used for fantasy, and it is obvious that it is a canva font. I don't have anything against it, but the genre is not suitable for the same. The blending is not right, since you can see it's pretty obvious.

I felt the description was rather bland, it could be made more concise. It could use a bit more imagery and I saw a few obvious grammatical errors. For example, the first born should be written as firstborn, it's usually spelled as one. And this line really doesn't seem that good to be read, "What is going to happen when Vivaan who has spent his whole childhood practicing to become a good Alpha is told to step back when his half brother Nihal comes into the picture out of nowhere?" Next up, you haven't given a synopsis of the story, I felt they were just a few questions informing us a few things.

The first chapter was quite interesting, and how the dynamic of Aarjav and Vivaan changed suddenly after the prologue was quite shocking. The friendship, the way you have shown the female power is also quite nice.

So, the only problem I had was with the innumerable characters and their characteristics. It's very hard to follow up the characters if you haven't established the main character leads. So, I would ask you to edit the whole story, and then establish the main characters and then continue with the other characters' descriptions and relationships.

As a person who has read a lot of werewolf stories, I have seen a lot of stories similar to this one. But I agree that you have added your touch and style to it.

The writing style I'm usually inclined to is very different from your writing. I felt that it could be a bit more creative, with an enhanced vocabulary, pace, and beautiful words which collectively show imaginary sequences of the story coming into life. So, I would ask you to edit the story and make it more innovative.

I felt the pace was a bit faster than usual in the first two chapters, there wasn't a connection between the prologue and the next chapter. You could have provided a few hints and could conjoin the chapters for a smooth transition.

I felt the plot was well thought of, and it was led on beautifully in the first few chapters, but I would tell you to lessen how much information you give away in just one chapter. But I really didn't understand how a human can order with the alpha command even if he's the firstborn. That would require him to be a werewolf, right? And I don't think I really like Arjav. He shouldn't have done that to his mate or his son.

In this part, I would ask you to use complex words instead of the words "long stare", it could be glowering, glaring, and many other synonyms. Use a fancier vocabulary to make the words float into a reader's mind.

I can't say I enjoyed it in the beginning, but as the story progressed, it was fun to read it.

The Boy Next Door
AkshitaaN

57.5 / 100

I have seen this title often used in rom-com movies, teen fiction books, etc. Never did I expect to see it in a werewolf story. But yeah, the story actually does resemble the title.

So, don't get me wrong, I like the cover, how it's blended. But I really would say, try to match it with the title. Like a "next door" background, with a girl and a boy on the other end and near the boy, you can add a wolf too. It would seem cool, I can show you what I meant, if you PM me later. Also, you could use way better fonts than Cinzel decorative for fantasy/werewolf fiction.

I liked the blurb. The quote, in the beginning, was really good, but you could mold it in such a way it depicts the theme of the story a bit more. And the story synopsis given in the blurb was really good. But there were a few grammatical errors in the same. Like, "He didn't have a choice when his father is sick and he has to step up", this sentence needs a comma before the word "and". And the word "luna" is actually a noun, since it is a title, it needs to have proper capitalization as "Luna". And in this sentence, "...his luna was his next-door neighbor and only she could bring light to his life." needs to have a comma after the word "neighbour". I would ask you to try and add precise short sentences instead of dragging the sentence along too.

The prologue was pretty mysterious, it causes weight in the story and makes the readers excited for the next chapter. As for the opening chapter, it was pretty nerve-wracking and had an intense beginning. But I did notice a lot of grammatical errors, especially in capitalization and punctuation. Also, try to align the story into paragraphs and divide them neatly. Also, the way her character is shaped is very obvious in the chapter, which is pretty amazing.

The characters are pretty great. But I'm not going to lie, I have read a lot of similar characters. A girl with an abusive father, is really good, stays strong, is emotionally wrecked. The guy is a playboy, a "bad boy" who dumps girls every day until he meets the one and becomes lovey-dovey. And whatever problems arise in the relationship, it's the guy's fault. And of course, the ever bright and helpful best friend. I would ask you to twist a few characteristics and change the story a bit more.

As I said earlier in the characters section, I've read too many books like this, I feel potential in your work and I would love to encourage you to go for more different plotlines and characters. Why can't the girl be the bitchy one, with the playboy characteristics? Why can't the guy be the one with the abusive father, why can't the best friend be someone cunning and wicked? I'm just giving suggestions, but it would be great if you implement them.

I think the writing style was okayish. It had a lot of filler things like them going out with their friends. I would suggest incorporating more of the plot in the story. It was a humorous one, and I'm not sure if you're sticking to the werewolf genre. It looks like humor fiction with werewolf in it to me.

The pace of the plot was a bit dragged and it doesn't seem like the story is conjoining the events in the story.

This plot of fated mates, one leaving the other, the girl being the strong mentally-willed one and the guy being like a playboy till the mate is super cliched to me, not going to lie. This plot has been there since the beginning of the writing of such stories. Cliched stories are fine, but their backbone is the plotline.

In this part, I saw mistakes, especially in capitalization and punctuation. Like this one, "So Uhm, what did you want..."; In this line, you just need to capitalize S, not the word "uhm". Also, the use of that word makes the book feel really informal. Then there is a dialogue, "Ok, it's official. I am Delusional", the word "delusional" does not need to be capitalized. Please edit the book thoroughly and try to re-read the whole chapter before you update.

I liked the story, but as I said. I've read too many books just like this. What makes it different? What is new in the plot, these are the attributions to be taken care of.

A Battle for the Crown
HorsesandDragons

78.5 / 100

The title is intriguing and it does match the story very well. It's a bit common for royalty books, but it seems good.

The book cover could be improved in many areas, it could either be a manipulated cover or an object-based cover. In the manipulated one, I would suggest getting a royal warrior princess style of a dress fitted into a face claim and then maybe brushes having magical strokes in a jungle with a crown on her head and a sword in her hands. As to the object-based cover, it's pretty obvious from the title.

So the description was intriguing but at the same time, it seemed bland because of the grammatical errors. The capitalization errors are frequent and the usage of commas is incorrect at places. So I would ask you to make the blurb more flowery with dialogues and then edit it thoroughly without any mistakes.

The opening chapter was a rollercoaster ride revealing a lot of things, which was quite interesting but the presence of grammatical errors ruined the flow of the book at times. But I did love how the plot progressed in just one chapter. The glimpses from different people were just amazing!

There were a lot of characters, but mainly I felt there were 4 characters who took everyone's attention away.

Alessandra : She seems like a complicated character who has definitely gone through a lot. She is the queen, a strong queen, who is holding up the whole kingdom with her mate's death and a previous lover to help her.

Victor : He seems like a complicated character, who has protected his love all along the time her "so-called" mate tortured her and inflicted harm on her. He is a vampire, seen by society as a huge threat.

Stephan : The "so-called" mate of Alessandra, an abusive person who doesn't even care if he even cheats on his mate. Extremely possessive and seems like a mysterious character. He is the dead king.

Alexandru : The guard who has been trying to protect the queen all along, seems to have romantic feelings for her. Even though he is employed by Victor, seems to dislike him.

I really love how uncliched the story is. It seems really beautiful and also, the plot seems to be well-thought of.

Even though it is a bit jarring when you switch to a third person's point of view, the writing style is comprehensible.

I felt the pace was a bit faster than usual at times and sometimes, it was perfect. So, try to edit the story.

I like the plot as it was well thought of, and it was written very beautifully. I like how the characters were shaped and how the story was moving forward.

I found a lot of grammatical errors and it was quite vexing. I found errors, especially in the capitalization part. Like, "The moment my Mate died..", here there is no need for capitalization of the word mate. I've seen this in many places. And also, I found that you were kind of twisted with the tenses. So, it would be great if you stick to one tense, edit the whole book and proofread it.

I really enjoyed the book overall and it was a pretty fun read!

Beauties and Beasts
baemajeks

40.5 / 100

The title seemed to be in relation to the old fairytale we all read, The Beauty and the Beast, and I guess there is some connection here. I'm looking forward to the book.

The cover could be way better with some magical touches and better work. Now, it feels like just some text slapped on an image. It could have done better and made it more attractive.

To be honest, I understood rather nothing about the story description. "4 girls and 4 guys. Mate seeking beauties and hope seeking beasts. Will they or will they not find what they seek?" What does this sentence mean? It doesn't seem to tell us anything about the story and there were a lot of grammatical errors especially in the commas. For example, "The beauties need to prove to be trustworthy or it may...", here there needs to be a comma after the word, trustworthy. The description needs to be more flowery with dialogues and also a summary of the book.

The opening chapters were filled with grammatical errors which made reading the book really hard and jarring. Also, use actual English words for writing a story. Don't make "years", "yrs". It's wrong and it is an informal slang that is usually used for texting. And the context of the book wasn't clear and the beginning of the story is quite unexpected and weird. There was no imagery and the book was really short. This part needs to be edited and made into an actual chapter instead of dumping all the information together, I felt it was not so elegant and the writing was a bit odd.

There are too many characters in the book, so I'm not going to name them all. I would ask you to maybe use different books for different people. Like @/cjprimer, an author's book. I'm not promoting the book, even though it doesn't need promotion. It clearly says how to make the book more clarified in a particular manner, including all the characters. Here, it's just too hard to read.

I've read too many books like this, so yeah. It's a storyline that has always been used. And it's a bit humor-filled rather than being a werewolf book.

The writing style is not so attractive and elegant. It kind of feels like an information dump at times, with dialogues. It is jarring because of the grammatical errors and the lack of scenery and descriptions. You might want to work on your imagery.

The pace was super fast. Them finding their mates, going to the pack. There was no conjoining connection between the chapters. The flow was rough as well.

I've been reading a lot of books like this. So, the plot is something I've read too many times. It should be more well thought of, and also there should be better and longer chapters, taking care of the mechanics.

There were a lot of grammatical errors in the story. Also, the vocabulary could be enhanced a lot. Sometimes the words used are really informal, there were punctuation errors and also, the jarring between the tenses made it hard to read the book.

The book was okayish but needs a lot of improvement. And the mechanics of the book and the theme of the book could be evolved.

The Crime in Callahan's Morrow
MeredithAll

78/ 100

So the title, instead of writing 'The Crime in Callahan's Morrow', it would have been better if you'd written 'The Crime of Callahan's Morrow'. I liked the picture or pictures (I don't know) used for the cover but I didn't particularly like the font, since it wasn't all that attractive in contrast to the picture or pictures used for the cover.

The sentences in the description aren't all that smooth flowing. Also, you've used your prepositions wrong in some cases. For example, in "She likes her job, but not these days when mysterious abductions make the front pages in the newspaper." This sentence from the beginning doesn't flow smoothly and I'll tell you why. Firstly you say that Nicole likes her job and then you say she doesn't like her job. Both of these contradictory phrases are written in the present tense, so what you're trying to convey is now lost. And you should have used 'of the newspaper' instead of 'in the newspaper'. Also, you use a simile in this sentence "Just as everything seems black", I believe what you were trying to write is "Just as everything seems bleak". In any case, using 'black' in this sentence is incorrect.

What I noticed in the first chapter was the fact that you often write your similes and normally-used phrases wrong. For example "...right smack in the middle of the room..." should be corrected to "...smack in the middle of the room..." or "...right in the middle of the room...". Using 'right' and 'smack' together in this sentence is completely wrong.

Also, you say "Honestly, it was quite a boring thing". It would have been better if you'd just not used the word 'a' and 'thing' at all in that sentence, since then it would have made the sentence flow smoother. On that note, most of your sentences weren't flowing smoothly and seemed forced.

And the speech sentences were wrong in some instances. For example, "Michelle! You sound like a broken record. Pay the damn attention. I've been trying to call you five times already. What the hell have you done? Fix the intercom after you sent that damn woman in". Firstly you don't use 'the' with 'attention'. Instead, it's supposed to be written like this, " Pay attention" and if you want to use 'damn' in this sentence, better to write "Pay attention, damn it." since that'd be more accurate. Anyways your usage of tenses is wrong in this sentence. I'll rewrite the whole sentence so you can get an idea of corrections that are needed to be done. "Michelle! You sound like a broken record. Pay more attention from now on, damn it. I've been trying to call you five times already. What the hell have you been doing? Fix the intercom after you've sent that damn woman in."

Okay, so I'll speak about the areas that should be dealt with. Those areas are grammar and writing style. You've got a lot to improve in those aspects seeing as there were quite a lot of grammatical errors in the first chapter itself and the errors continue. Also, you use similes or commonly used phrases in books, which would be fine had you implemented them knowing the meaning behind said phrases and similes. Using various techniques in a story to make it entertaining is a given to any author except using such techniques without knowing the meaning in its entirety, makes the sentence lose its inherent meaning.

In any case, I really enjoyed the book and would have enjoyed it more had there been fewer grammatical and writing method errors. To be blunt, all you need to do to rectify these particular errors are editing and gaining more experience in your writing style area by reading more books.

Evenfall
twelveneer

80/100

I liked the title since it presents a sort of mystery to what the story is about. The cover could have been a lot better. I advise using Pinterest for better pictures and canva for creating the cover as a whole.

I loved the story description. That being said, some of the sentences could have been phrased better. "But Xaius was instantly drawn to this woman who lived long enough to tell the darkest tales of the undead." Replace the 'but' in this sentence with 'yet'. And in this sentence, "He knew it's insanity to be drawn to death, yet he did not care." change it to, " It was insanity to be drawn to death but he didn't give a damn."

Also in this sentence, "But then everything was about to change when he met this enticing woman---beastly in nature, and dangerously out of his league.", it'd be more accurate if you'd written, "But then everything changed when he met this enticing woman---beastly in nature, and dangerously out of his league.". Instead of writing ' was about to change', write 'changed'. Also maybe change the last sentence from, "Little did he know, one hellish invitation would change the typical setup. And no, he wouldn't be the predator this time." to, " Little did he know, one hellish invitation would turn the tables on him. And the hunter would become the hunted.".

Okay now to talk about the opening chapter. So in this sentence "She was usually laid-back, so even her subtle approach of goofing around meant that she must be up for something" it's supposed to be 'she must be up to something' not 'up for something'. Anyways there were some grammatical errors in your opening chapter and your conversation flow isn't all that smooth, so it would be better if you worked on it more. Also, there were some errors regarding the usage of tenses. I would advise you to ask for help from another person who's particularly gifted in grammar.

I loved the characters a lot. Ivory is a brusque and cold no-nonsense person. Velvet is wild, untamed and a scheming devil. And Xias needs to be put down a peg or two. Anyways all these characters just come together and make the story so interesting that it's hard to put the book down once you start reading. And the originality of this book, well I can't explain it in words since it's that good.

You have a good writing style admittingly but that being said your book had a lot of errors regarding the formation of sentences and your grip on the language particularly speaking wasn't all that good at a lot of points so I'd think it would be best if you read more books and gained more experience of how other authors' writing styles are. Also reading top to bottom and editing words again should be a given at this point.

The pace was nice. Could have been a bit slower but the story still went along smoothly so I won't talk about it further.

On the note of grammar, there were a lot of mistakes. Reading word to word and editing is called for at this point but before that, you should improve your grammatical proficiency a lot more.

As for personal enjoyment, the continuous errors in grammar and writing style were a bit off-putting; however, I still wanted to read more seeing as this was really a creative piece of work. Improve on your writing style a bit and your grammar a lot and you'd be good to go.

Unforgotten
Imfine000Ithink

63/ 100

Okay so to start, I think a change in the title and cover is called for at this point. For one thing, the title has major romance vibes and doesn't convey the book's main genre which is the Werewolf genre. Looking at the cover no one would be able to tell that it was werewolf related. Also, the font and pictures used for the cover are of poor quality. I would advise using Canva for editing the cover and for good fonts, and Pinterest for better quality pictures.

To talk about the description, well there really isn't much in it that conveys what is actually in the story. I mean, the MC is a werewolf, that anyone can tell since the genre of this book is given as in the werewolf genre and that he isn't the only supernatural out there isn't that hard to derive. Reveal something in the description that will drive the readers' curiosity to read the book in the first place. Also, it would have been better if you'd written "living a normal life" instead of "having a normal life".

And we come to the opening chapter part. There were a lot of grammatical mistakes and when I say a lot I mean a lot. For example, it isn't "I stood up from the bed and headed her desk." it's "I stood up from the bed and headed towards her desk." Also when conversations were concerned you weren't using commas. And a lot of your abbreviations were incorrectly implemented. For example, you're saying "After a while, she turned her back on me, and then I realized that she was asleep." You say she turned her back on him which is a wrong usage of abbreviation. What you're trying to convey is that she turned away from him on the bed but what you're really conveying is that she betrayed him. You're supposed to say "...she turned her back to me" not "...she turned her back on me". A lot of your sentences were written wrong as well. For example in Emma's letter she says "You have no idea how much it hurts, or how much I miss you. Well, I do.", in this instance, Emma is not asking a question but you use the words, "Well, I do" as if in response to Emma questioning her sister whether or not she knew that she missed her. If you want to use the words "Well, I do." then better change both sentences and write "You don't know how much I miss you, do you? Well, I do. I do miss you. So much so that it hurts". I added some touch-ups to make the sentence sound better and more meaningful.

I'll be honest, I didn't really like the characters all that much. I can't relate to them at all as a reader. I understand the pain of Emma to some extent but the way you've portrayed the characters so far makes them have zero potential to be more than what they already are. How you've shown the male MC to be some hero who stops Emma from committing suicide is a bit, how do I put it? Cliche. As of now, I think it's best if you try to portray the characters in a better way than the way you're doing it right now.

I'll give you points for originality since I haven't seen much of the Werewolf/Vampire genre books having a boy as the MC. That being said there wasn't exactly anything that jumped out as original in this novel. Something special that the story centers on, anything actually, that would have grabbed the reader by the throat, but unfortunately, there was nothing like that.

Your writing style is also very poor and lacks the key elements that make a book interesting to read. What I'm talking about are the similes, metaphors, oxymorons, and onomatopoeias, etc. These are classical techniques used in English Literature. You need to familiarize yourself with these techniques by reading more books. Also as previously mentioned you haven't used your abbreviations well which leads to the conclusion that writing in English might not be your strong suit but not to fear since all one needs to do to gain proficiency in the language is to read more.

As for the pace, it was too fast. You reveal within the first chapter that the MC has been developing the characteristics of a classic werewolf, which is too fast a development this early in the story. So my point is the events that have such significance should take more time to happen in the story. As of now the pace of the story is going in is much too fast.

Now we move on to the plot. I won't lie when I say there wasn't exactly a realistic approach when creating the plot for this story. In the second chapter itself, David reveals to his foster dad, who's a doctor, that he can and I'm quoting this straight from the book " I can see, hear and smell things that are actually impossible to. I also feel like I have to kill someone, it happened today at school...And also..." I'm not gonna quote the full sentence but you have to understand how unrealistic of a situation this is. Even if he did show such symptoms isn't a bit weird for him to say that he's doing something impossible so straightforwardly and to his foster dad no less.

Disregarding the grammatical mistakes of this conversation, do you really think anyone, had they been in this situation would act this way? And then his foster father just happens to reveal to him what he is and that he has a death threat hanging over his head and on top of that he's an alpha wolf which so happened to be said all in one setting and a single chapter. Not only did you reveal how this book is gonna turn out in the end, you basically revealed everything that could have possibly made this book more curiosity-inducing and that as well so early into the story. There are too many plot holes in this book for it to be rectified any further and the only way of rectifying it is, starting over from scratch.

I've already had my say where grammar is concerned. And if I'm being honest, ninety percent of the story so far has been filled with grammatical errors. I hope you improve your grammar by a long margin and then work on this story after you've reached the point where you can confidently write this story without any grammatical mistakes. Asking for others' help is fine except at this point self-learning is the best remedy for this.

To talk about personal enjoyment, I'm not gonna say anything about it for now so improve on your writing skills and come back to me to ask if I enjoyed this story or not. You have the potential to do better than this and I want you to know that I'm not trying to offend you by saying all that I've said so far. You really do have the potential to become a great author so when you've reached that point I want to be honest with you and say that I really enjoyed your work without it being a fib but for now I can't say that. What I saw in you was the fact that you try hard to rectify your mistakes. That's the characteristic of a person who's on a road to success so don't give up.

Zahn Und Klaue
Evolution-500

94 / 100

To start, the title which I assume is in German is quite catchy. I guess it means "tooth and claw" right? However, I had to google translate to find that at first and was quite confused as to what the title meant. I considered cutting off marks but since the meaning behind the title was more or less conveyed in the first chapters after I read them, I decided not to.

As for the cover, well I'll be honest it wasn't all that appealing and at first, I thought that creature was one of Ben Ten's aliens. I'm not insulting you really because at first, that was exactly how I perceived it. And when you mentioned how your book was based on a game it started making sense as to why your cover was like so. Unfortunately, I'm no gamer so I don't really know how I should go about judging this book. On one hand, the cover might be very well-liked by others but from my perspective that was not exactly the case. So please understand that this is my personal opinion and others' opinions might defer.

As for the story description, maybe lengthen it a bit more. And the last sentence of the description was a tad bit difficult to understand. Either way, it was a brilliant start and gave a clear outline of the story, a very good outline.

The opening chapter was perfect. It revealed just enough for the reader to want to read more. Personally, my curiosity was piqued.

All the characters are all down to Earth and I like how fierce the MC, Konrad is and his butler who's also quite the character. Every single person in the story is so unique and just adds a special flavor to the story. For one thing, I loved how human they were. What I mean to say is they're portrayed as people who have weaknesses as well as strengths in equal measure and as a reader, it was easier to relate with such characters.

Now for grammar, well there was a slight dropping of words. Incredibly rare, so rare that it's hardly noticeable. Like if I had to tell how many instances there were of this, it would be only one per chapter. Which is, in my opinion, amazing. I'm really impressed how this author literally poured everything into this book to make grammatical mistakes so few and far in between.

I only talked about the areas where I thought the author should improve since there wasn't much to talk about regarding other areas. To say the least, this work is as close to perfection as it gets so to say I enjoyed this story would be an understatement.

Trapped in a Dystopian Romance
tinselbee

92/100

I absolutely loved this story. It gave a completely different take on the typical vampire story. The interactions between Holland and D. left me laughing a few times.

A few suggestions: watch for tense switches. There were a few places where tense switched from present to past and back again. It was a little distracting in places. There were a few overly long paragraphs. I'd suggest shortening some of the longer ones, maybe splitting them up.

This was a very creative, entertaining, fun, and unique read that I hope to read more of soon.

The Broken Raven
Djxs17

68/100

The cover is beautiful. The opening is very mysterious and leaves the readers with questions that need to be answered. A few suggestions: There are too many commas. Full and separate sentences should be separated by periods. Also, quotes must always have punctuation. Shortening long paragraphs would make it easier for readers. I loved the different approaches to vampires. It is interesting to see them as normal people, besides the need for blood.

The Law of Beasts Book 1
JabreelWilson

83/100

The first paragraph is very well done. It really grabs the attention of the reader. Descriptions were nicely done, although some were a little wordy. Ellipses are overused and distract from the writing. They can be powerful tools, but should not be used too frequently. There was a really long conversation sequence with very few tags or breaks to show emotion. This made the conversation a little harder to follow and emotionless. The story is action-packed, gripping the reader into wanting to see what happens next.

Lance
fortune_Mitch

89/100

This is a very well-written book with great use of emotion and description. The first chapter leaves the reader with a feeling of mystery and a desire to read more.

A couple of things to consider: There are a few issues with punctuation and capitalization used in error or missing, but its grammar was good otherwise. It's nothing a quick edit can't fix. The cover doesn't really catch the eye and doesn't completely fit the genre, which is why I deducted points there.

I really enjoyed this book. Lance is the bad boy you see in a lot of Wattpad books, but he has a deep and traumatic reason for being this way. The author does a wonderful job of using emotion and memory to really set the tone and feel for Lance, even if he isn't the role model character type. The narrative voice is also well-done, pulling the reader in. This is a great read.

Alpha Female
zilch_expectations

88/100

Love the title, it is definitely a book title that stands out among the rest. The cover is a bit too contemporary romance feel; I suggest adding a wolf at the bottom and fading it out to the couple at the top to bring in the paranormal feel to fit with the story. The book's description is a bit too long. I suggest, stick with the main stake and trying to flesh that out. The pace in the first chapter is fast. I get it needs to show years gone by, but they can slow it down a bit with setting and descriptions. There were minor errors that can be easily fixed with a thorough check. I really loved Ashton's wolf, Xavier. I love the voice and the witty banter. There were a few times I laughed out loud. Thank you for letting me judge your title.

Rightful Vengeance
samantha_r_samuel

92/100

Impressive title and the cover fits beautifully with the genre. With that said, the wrong choice and placement of words distracted the flow a few times. Sometimes you and I part would flow better with a simple we. The first chapter was enticing, and the originality shown through was beautiful. However, there were grammar mistakes.
The overall grammar; sentences that should start with capital letters that didn't, missing punctuation with addressing someone, only to name a few. Be careful with too much backstory when entering dialogue, it hinders the flow of dialogue. Still, I love the character descriptions and the originality of the story. I would easily lose myself in the storytelling part. Thank you for letting me judge your story.

Taming the Hellbeast
TheAlixDavenport

95/100

Love the title and the cover. The stakes need to be made clearer in the book description. I read a lot of stories where their wolves had names, but what made this one unique is Jax has two wolf personas. Writing style, love the unique style, maybe a slight suggestion, keep the inner dialogue between the wolves and when his mind links with packs in italics. It's one of the italic's roles, trust it. The pace showed the Status Quo beautiful and then every chapter after that was filled with action. Be careful of too much backstory, it can slow down the pace, and always but always ask if there isn't a way to show the backstory instead of telling it, or do the readers really need to know that. A really marvelous story filled with action, apart from the minor grammar mistakes, I enjoyed it.

Where's that Vampire too
NushCreates

94/100

Love the title. A really well-written blurb, but try to make the stake clearer in the book description. The cover didn't fit with the genre at all; it doesn't scream paranormal and doesn't fit with the title at all. Love the first chapter apart from the grammar errors and technical errors of dialogue rules. It was really great. Great solid writing. Love the style and am in love with this voice. Minor grammar mistakes with punctuation and characters' dialogue mixed up in other characters' dialogue paragraphs. It was definitely original, as I doubt that I'd read anything else like this. Love the originality.

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FIRST POSITION
Taming the Hellbeast by TheAlixDavenport

SECOND POSITION
Zahn Und Klaue by Evolution-500
Where's that Vampire too by NushCreates

THIRD POSITION
Rightful Vengeance by samantha_r_samuel
Daffodil: A Silent Companion by bored_mama
Trapped in a Dystopian Romance by tinselbee

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JUDGES // IsisSapphire -sarcasticchica- kdpeters Duncana1003

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