Hanging out with Ace at "Coffee Hideout" the Saturday morning after finals week was a tradition I still gladly welcomed.

The steaming cup of coffee in front of me was the only thing that could calm me down after an entire week of studying. I had found myself caught up between distorted French sentences and poetry lines that made me want to press the backspace button to wipe out the entire summer.

Our little coffee shop trip was also a welcome escape from my empty apartment. I had lived in it for three years alone. But after having company for a few days, it felt much larger than it used to be, and I had no idea what to do with myself now that I only had my internship to keep up with.

At least, I thought I would have no other reasons to worry, but Ace had a better idea.

"You're not saying what I think you're saying," I told him.

I was disappointed to see that each new sip ruined the stack of books drawn with cream in my coffee a little more.

"I've been talking to Sebastian a lot lately—"

"You picked hanging out with the guy who brought along your breakup instead of studying with me like I asked you to? It's good to see where your priorities lie."

He dismissed the comment with his hand and pulled his chair forward as though he was about to tell me a secret.

"He's not nearly as annoying as he seems. I asked him to teach me some piano things, and I've been reading stuff about dance. I know that's not much." He ran a hand through his dark hair, forgetting about the coffee waiting patiently for him on the table. "I've only now realized that Emma always bought into every new interest I've had—she came along on an ice-cream chase with no hesitation—and I can't say I've done the same."

"You're saying you want her back?" I asked and sighed because I had expected it and because I couldn't picture Emma getting over it that easily.

"Why didn't you stop me?" He grimaced when he took a sip of the lukewarm coffee in front of him.

"If you weren't so impulsive and thought it through, you'd have realized what a huge mistake that would be. A break..." I couldn't help but laugh as I remembered what he had called it even though I could sense him glaring holes into my skull.

"Well, she's mad now. She won't even talk to me."

"I wouldn't say she's mad, Ace," I said, and he stared at me, expecting an elaboration I hadn't prepared.

I used my coffee to buy myself some time to come up with a justification for what I had just said as a reflex to comfort him.

"Well, you know Emma. She's always all in. She's really good at showing it too. I guess the issue is that it's a little harder to see that you care and that she's not just another one of those hobbies of yours that you never stick to."

He leaned back on his stool and his back rested against the wall. "I've forgotten how to talk to her. Suggestions?"

"That's ridiculous. You know her better than I do. What's stopping you from telling her exactly how you feel right now?" Then a chuckle escaped my mouth though I tried to hold it back. "I mean, besides the fact that she's avoiding you and doesn't want to see you."

"You're doing great at the whole motivational thing." He swallowed the rest of his coffee with a scowl on his face, but a small smile still appeared on his lips.

"You've taught me everything I know." I grinned as I played with the napkin, folding it with fake origami moves that gave me nothing more in the end than a lump.

It would have felt phony to try to give him advice. I knew I wouldn't ever admit to Miles that his smile and his words disturbed something about my nerves' regular functioning. Because admitting that would come along with the risk of instant death from a supernatural level of embarrassment.

Besides, I had no real way to put these into anything more eloquent than: "Y-you, you know, make me, well, uh, feel things." That was all I had so far.

That would sure make him laugh if nothing else.

"I don't really have much to tell her, anyway. I think I said all I could think of to make her understand I still loved her."

"That can't be true. As far as I could tell, nothing you said had to do with an actual commitment to her."

"That was implied."

I shook my head as I looked at the stage area where staff members were setting up music equipment for a gig.

There weren't many other people in the shop besides Ace and me. But we had probably bought enough already to account for five customers. Celebrating the end of the semester required several different flavors of cupcakes, bear claws, and cups of coffee.

We would usually stick to easy conversations to get rid of the stress that came with being thrown onto the path of a train for every single exam and paper. But, today, Ace's anxiety about finals seemed to have bled right into his troubles with Emma without giving him the luxury of a break.

"You do realize that if you don't get rid of the deeper issue, even if you get back together, it will come up again, right?"

My own words sounded a lot like those Mr. Crawford had said at the start of the semester. I smiled at the thought—his comments had not been as useless as they had seemed.

"You won't even need a trigger like Sebastian. These insecurities will just be around all the time for both of you to see."

"Do you..." Ace sighed, spinning the poor cup with his nervous hands. "Do you ever think about that too? Everyone seems to see a clear track ahead with detailed steps. Everything is planned—hobby, major, career," he said and I nodded. "I don't have that. I've been looking for years and I still don't have that."

"You don't need that. That's what college is about. You can be confused for as long as you need to. The real world can wait."

He looked at me, not fully convinced.

"What Emma deserves is someone who loves her. And you are just that. That was good enough for her. Is it good enough for you?"

"In theory." Then he dismissed the thought with a shrug. "Are you confused too? Is that why you're considering Australia?"

I had no idea why I still told him the things on my mind when I knew he would take any chance to grill me about them.

"Why do you think you suddenly want to go all the way across the globe?"

My brain blanked and failed to come up with an answer that wouldn't earn me a scowl from him.

"It's a good opportunity?" I said, unable to hide the hesitation from my voice. "What, do you think it's a bad idea?"

"It depends on your motivation. Don't go if your only reason to leave is that you're uncomfortable right now."

I sighed and glanced out of the window where the sun looked every bit like the scorching nightmare it probably felt like.

I had so many reasons to be uncomfortable. The major benefit of moving was that there was no way that I could drag all these issues with me to Australia. Not enough space in my suitcase for those.

"Since when are you the one giving advice?"

"Since I realized you were terrible at taking your own."

I smiled as he stood up from the stool. I wasn't ready to leave yet. Leaving the coffee shop meant returning to my apartment, where there was nothing to do but anxiously wait for exam results.

"We're acing this life thing." He chuckled as he offered me a hand to motivate me to get off my seat too.

"Yeah. We're definitely killing it."

➷➷➷

I attributed my excitement for tonight's non-date to the fact that the house was suffocating.

It was not about a certain dark-haired writer who enjoyed mocking me way too much with his annoyingly magnetic smiles. And it definitely had nothing to do with the memories of what happened the previous times we had been alone—near misses and awkward kisses.

Those were the last things on my mind. I couldn't allow myself to dwell on them because nothing like that would happen tonight. We had both agreed that this was not a date.

It was more of a professional meeting, anyway. I was helping him finish a book. It didn't have to be more complicated.

By the time I heard the bell ring, I had managed to properly freak myself out about tonight and everything that could go wrong—or worse, what could go right.

As soon as I opened the door, I started talking in disconnected thoughts to keep myself distracted from that perfect view of Miles Whitman leaning against the door frame.

"You're early. Do you want to come in? I didn't know where we were going, so I didn't know what to wear." Then I heard that last sentence and realized how I was making this sound like a date. I breathed out to get rid of the imaginary pressure pushing down on my shoulders. "I mean, hi."

"Hi, stranger. This is perfect," he said as he checked out my outfit with a smile.

I hoped he didn't look too closely or he would notice the pale makeup stain on my shirt that I had not managed to wipe out completely after anxious minutes of rubbing. I didn't even consider changing—it was my favorite shirt.

"I thought we could just stay at my house this time. I've been learning some cooking tricks and I'm looking for an unbiased subject to try it on."

"Your place?" I repeated. Even though I managed to keep my voice calm, my mouth gaped at his offer despite my best attempts to convert it into a blank expression.

How could he say that with such a straight face?

He watched me instead of speaking again, taking his time because he had the most twisted sense of humor, and clearly, the best part of his day was to watch me squirm.

He faked a gasp that wasn't the least bit believable. "Should I be worried about you, Kelly?" He gave me a wicked grin that made me think that he was the one I should worry about. "Are we going to need a chaperone?"

I didn't know when he had gotten close enough that I could feel his breath on my face when he spoke, but I had to take a step back before I could gather my thoughts again.

"You have nothing to be worried about." My hand that still held on to the doorknob tightened around it for extra confidence. "As hard as it obviously is to keep my hands off of you," I joked and matched his silly grin, "I think I'll survive. I'll do the impossible."

Instead of dismissing it as a joke like I wished he would, his face lit up with an idea, his eyes narrowing with the thought of a challenge.

I didn't wait for him to say whatever entertaining concept had just occurred to him. I so didn't want to know.

"Don't," I said as I walked past him out of the door.

His laughter followed behind me as he jogged to catch up with me.