TheAmateurWriter1

Note Before Reading Review

Feel free to ignore anything that you feel doesn't work for you that falls under my alternative suggestions.

Title:

3.5/5

Personally for me if I wasn't reviewing the book I'd more than likely accidentally miss it because the title doesn't stand out or I'd see it but skip it because it didn't really fuel my imagination to check it out.

Alternative Title Ideas Suggestions

Touching Rainbows
Discovery
The Journey
My Eyes Opened

Cover:

3/5

It isn't the worse cover but it doesn't really draw my eye to the story.

Summary:

2/5

Why the low score?

• I feel it needs more length
• Missed words
• Flow
• Grammar
• Readability

I've written a short alternative summary for you

 
Rian Kellberg family don't like LGBT+ people. Rian was raised to dislike them too, and to act like a good Christian boy.

Being a Christian means being heterosexual and cis; condemning and shunning anyone who isn't in the Kellberg family eyes.

When he meets Cyrus Lopez things begin to change, his eyes are opened, and he begins to discover who he is.

Plot:

4/5

I like the plot I really do. However, I feel it needs to he fleshed out more. A little more description. So I can feel what the character is feeling.

Readability:

3.7/5

There are places were flow could be better or reworded but mostly it is good.

I think you have the potential for a really great story here.