Disclaimer: I am not a professional editor. I will not catch every little mistake, so sorry if I don't include something that someone finds later on.

Author: xkissmeonthemouthx

Chapter One:

For this one, I'd put something before interesting instead of the other way around.

I'd put the word something in between say and horrible.

Chapter Two:

I'd recommend having it say too rather than to.

Chapter Three:

Just to make it a little more fluent sounding, I'd write, "He re-spoke and grinned at the scowl that pulled at his features, proving his point." Or something along the lines of that.

Chapter Four:

I couldn't find anything in this chapter. :D

Chapter Five:

*an

"That's not *an* insult..."

You're instead of your

REVIEW:

Plot: 50/50 points
Originality: 28/30 points
Spelling/Errors: 15/20 points
Total: 93 points.

Why: Your story was so good! Obviously, with it being a fanfic, the originality wasn't there as much as it would be with a new story idea, but that is the point of a fanfiction, after all. I thought that it was interesting and easy to immerse oneself in, and I might keep reading it at a later date! The spelling errors were minimal, but I'd just recommend in the future to remember too, an and you're. Other than the small things, though, I loved it!! Very good job! :)

~@miranda47312