The Real Me By: AuzaFatima
Description: "you run away from your shadow there's more than you can see you say floating away from the crowd to try to never be seen again what are you hiding from, love what is that scares you? is it the world behind your back? or is it you being you?"
[Description of Rose and more in depth explanation of her feelings]
Rose is shattered not broken by all the men she trusted and now she can't let herself go through that phase once more. She changed herself. She behaves rudely and weirdly which is enough for the boys to be driven away from her heart. They come and go without even a single glance back at her except for one Jay Stone.
Jay Stone former player but now has given up on his past life to make room for the future, Rosetta Carlson. He had fallen love with the mysterious girl with the beautiful eyes that hold the hurt and pain she had been through. He is willing to wait for her no matter how much time it takes for her to open up to him.
But the question is would Rose ever give him a chance or would she just treat him the same way she treats the others.
[authors note]
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Okay so this author seemed to really want criticism and help, especially for the wattys, and I really want to help so sorry if I seem really nit picky I'm just trying to make your book impeccable!

Just starting off, I really love the pictures and especially the quotes at the beginning of the chapters, it just adds imagery and the quotes give the book a little flair and uniqueness to the story. I loved Rose's character to no end, there's good character development with her and she's extremely relatable. In fact, this author manages to make almost all of her characters relatable, which in other words means real. I liked the first chapter as an opening chapter, it really just slid the reader right into the story rather than just throwing them in.

Just some notes, I did notice in the cover it says "The who needs the love most..." and I'm not sure if that's what it's supposed to say or if it should be "The one who needs the love most..." just thought I'd point that out. Moving on with the description I just want to note that descriptions are supposed to be short and sweet, and this is stretching it a bit. I just suggest going in and shortening it a bit, it'll still sound interesting and won't be super lengthy!

I love the overlapping point of views, showing the same situation from different perspectives, and I especially loved the way the author switched over from one point of view to the other in the middle of a sentence in chapter 7, it gave the story some flair.

Now onto my critiques, I just want to say I loved this story, these are just things I was specifically looking for as a reviewer. To start it off, I'm like 99% sure this author has a fear of question marks. Please, please add a question mark when you write a question. Also, I suggest working on commas as well. My tip is just read through your work once after you've written everything (out loud works best but it's not necessary) and if the sentence seems like it's very quick and rushed or it's too long, you probably need a comma. But also be careful not to overuse commas! Another thing, when you want to do an abrupt change of mind with your characters, make sure to use hyphens. E.x. I'm going to get chocolate - no - strawberry. It just makes it easier for readers to read. Also just to note I suggest putting characters thoughts in italics to separate the actual text from thought. Moving on, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, the story is a little 2D. What I mean is it's missing those essential details that give a story life. E.x. Blushing, glaring, rolling eyes, tousled hair, crossing arms, etc. Granted, the author does put some of these in there, but I feel it just needs more. I also found that the author over explained a lot of things. To avoid this you have to assume the reader has a basic intelligence to understand things such as when someone mutters they assume the other person can't hear them, so don't include that explanation. (That was from chapter 3) and also I saw in the paragraph above that something was over explained once more by saying "I stayed there (on the ground)..." You have to assume the reader knows this already. I understand that the author is trying to avoid reader confusion, but you have to put faith in your readers. Moving onto my next point, when Dove was introduced, and for future introductions, it's not necessary to specifically point out, "She's my best friend." Just bring her into the story, the readers will figure it out, and if you're still worried, subtly add it in the dialogue, such as, "Well duh, I am your best friend after all!" and ta da no awkwardly over explained introductions! In chapter 3 as well the cliffhanger was a good effort but in order to really bring out the full effect it has to leave the reader wondering/on edge, such as writing, "Our conversation was abruptly cut off when we saw a large crowd in the middle of the hallway, followed by a gruesome scream." of course the scream wouldn't work with this storyline but you get the idea. Moving further with the endings topic, some of the endings felt a little bland to be an ending. What I suggest is when you write the endings, if you can't imagine yourself dropping the mic, it needs to be stronger. (This is also a tip for school papers but it works really well for books too) I also noticed that the story overall seemed a bit rushed. Not really plotwise, more like it was missing...something. Later on I realized it was missing some sort of background. Really just adding an intro like "oh a new kid moved in that old house down the block" would work fine. Also, as an author writing your own story, you have so many techniques at your disposal! You don't have to go by normal writing guidelines, make your story unique! At the end of chapter 3, chapter 4 just continues right off of that. I think it would've been really interesting if suddenly in chapter 4 Rose was in the nurses office with a black eye standing in front of the principal. Again, doesn't really work with this storyline but you get the idea. Overall I also think that this story just needs to be edited, and it's not as of right now and that's okay. Finally, to end my critiques, at some parts it felt as if the chapters were a little forced, and I just want to say have fun. You're writing your own story, creating a new world! Writing isn't supposed to be a chore, it's supposed to bring enjoyment to the author. And I just suggest if it becomes a chore take some time off from writing to release any of that stress :)

The introduction of Jay was very well written, and throughout the story there was really good development with his character. His reaction upon first meeting rose was adorable, and I love the authors representation of a guy falling head over heels for a girl. I liked the relationship between the mom and daughter, I found it amusing how the mom acts like a child herself. I also thought the description that coincided Dove's introduction was perfect. Moving on, the author wrote a very good representation of what a drama queen is and how they act in the story. I also liked the introduction of Logan, and the friendship that was created between him and Jay. Overall, I really loved all of the relationships between friends. And to end off this review, when I read I make notes in a list form and go through and make sure I mention everything in my actual review, so here are my last two notes that I wrote as I read:
-JAY IS FREAKIN ADORABLE
-SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO F*CKIN CUTE
Anyways, I absolutely adored this book, and even though I only reviewed the first 10 chapters, I will be going back to read more. I hope all of you go check out AuzaFatima 's The Real Me, and I know you'll fall in love with the characters as much as I did.