Bello Amigos ! 

here we come with the review of "And they became one forever..." by aabha04

let's start with the firsts , first ; 

The Title : 

The title is skeptical. The way you've played with words is really remarkable at first sight , a reader would get attracted if the reader is looking for some mature content. as  per the storyline , the title goes perfect . 

The Description :

I'd say the description is very poor. You could've added more to it rather just writing "Shivika consummation in my style" 

You actually could've been more Descriptive about the story which sounds pretty necessary to attract readers. I would've not minded to give it a read if not for reviewing. 

here's an example  of how you can modify the description ; 

" They loved each other from the day 1 , but could never realize it and as a cherry on top , the thread of misunderstandings and hardship was already awaiting for them in future. they now have realized each other's importance in their lives , thankfully. Tia landed as an angel and everything is sorted out. they consummated , and became one forever in all senses .
it seems they'll now lead a happily ever after life together , but is that so in real ? 
Read out , to find " 

at least this much is required as description for a three shot story. although , it's finished long back but you can still modify it. 

Introduction :

There's nothing in introduction , then why'd you put an Intro , just to increase the number of parts ? 

if you are putting an Introduction of the story , then you should have given a proper one. 

As a format for introduction , I suggest you could have included at least a bit of description also and then you could have written about from where it all started. like , when I was reading the first chapter , I was totally unaware from where have you started the story . 
as the story is based on a regular T.v show , you could've given a short summary of the particular episode from where you are starting the story off. 

here's an example ; 

" Ragini's truth was out and so was she from Oberoi Mansion. Shivaay had been back to his detective self , to find out why had Annika taken such a drastic step , as his heart never agreed what she did was just for her own profit. Shivaay was all set to meet Tia , who was one of the person's who knew about Annika's reasons. indeed , meeting Tia was useful to the man as she had revealed everything to him about the reasons for the sake of their friendship. he is now heartbroken , heading towards Oberoi Mansion to face the culprit " 

i'm not asking you to copy-paste the same thing , you can write with you imagination. 

The Dialogue delivery : 

First of all I had no idea that dialogues were all going to be in hindi. you could've added somewhere that dialogues are to be in hindi. 

Secondly , dialogue delivery was just fine. I didn't feel so interested while reading them as it could have been presented in a better way. I couldn't find any commas or full stops  or any brakes , where the sentence was ending or starting . if the dialogues you were writing were all to be long , you could've divided them into paragraphs and to be honest , you could've written the dialogues briefly too and that'd be better. there were also several typos , and you shouldn't use short forms. 

Thirdly and most importantly , The way you've written the dialogues isn't a proper way at all. like I didn't understand what the character was trying to express and similarly , the tone of the character became quite unclear. 

here's an example ; 

' As the news travelled to Annika , she was rooted to her place with no emotions playing in her. soon , she reacted quite normally "Ye kya keh rahe ho aap ? " She continued being disheveled "koi ghalat fehmi huyi hai aapko ! voh mere Shivaay hain , unhone mujhse vada kiya tha ki vo mujhe chod kar kabhi nahi jayenge . kabhi nahi ...kabhi nahi " she soon was in a pool of uncontrollable tears , anyone could do nothing , but ogling at her with sympathy and pain of loss . wiping her tears she continued "Om please bolo na ki yeh jhooth hai . haan , ye jhooth hai tumlog sab milke mera pappu bana rahe ho , haina ? aur vaise bhi voh hume aise kaise chod ke jaa sakte hai , unhone toh abhi tak Shivan-Shivani ka chehra bhi nahi dekha " She cried her heart out , holding Om's collars and hitting his chest to say that the truth was false.'

Concept Clarity : 

The story was good , but lacked concept clarity as the execution wasn't proper. you could have executed the story much better by describing the events in a better manner. to be precise , you could have made the dialogues short and described the situations in a better manner , which would probably make the concept appear more clear. 

Second thing , you added promos , which weren't actually required for a short story . 

Third , you added too many leaps and lapses in the story. it was a short story so , so many leaps weren't required actually. and if you were adding three leaps , you could've described each leap  a bit more. 

like you described that after three weeks Annika informs about her pregnancy , instead when you took a leap of nine months you could have reminisced Annika about the day she got to know about her pregnancy or the day she informed the news to Shivaay. 

here's an example ; 

"Caressing her 9 months old baby bump , she could feel the happiness whelming in her. she was soon going to give birth to her most awaited babies. yes , they were having twins . which was known only to Shivika and somehow to Pinky too. She was soon lost in the memory lane too , the day she informed Shivaay , as she remembered those moments , a smile crept on her face. She had been keeping unwell since a week or so . a friend of hers who appeared to be a doctor advised her to take pregnancy test which she took and the result was positive. she knew no bounds as she realized she was soon going to enter motherhood.it was night , Shivaay was as usual busy in his work , Annika paced towards him and told him straight away out of nervousness. he was surprised at her casualness for such a big news at first , shrugging that off  , he twirled her in happiness" 

maybe something like this.

Mature content was pretty well described. 

Overall Summary to the readers : 

So basically , this is a heart wrenching story. the plot is really skeptical , with a heart felt climax. 
Shivaay gets to know about why Annika had left Oberoi mansion and took such a drastic step. he angers on knowing his mother's deeds. he was profusely shocked too , when he got to know that Mahi was his twin and he had a sister too who died recently. He later confesses his love to Annika and they consummated later on. it's better if I let the climax be a surprise for you readers too. 

Why I liked the story and why do I suggest it ? 

I'm a person who loves reading sad stories being myself a writer of sad plots. this story was unconventionally Stupendous. while reading 1st two parts , I thought it to be something really happy with a very happy ending. but as I approached to the 3rd and last part , where the climax resides I was taken aback for a moment. but the climax did keep me intrigued. I am basically not an easy person who cries over small matters , but the plot did made my eyes well up.

If you're searching something heartfelt , with mature content then surely this book is the right thing you should read. but if you are weak at heart and don't like sad endings and are surely gonna curse the writer for tragedy then better not read this piece and ruin all its glory!

So that's it !

Reviewed by one of the Queen Bee

Lot's of love , from all the three queen bees .