Originality: 10/10

Spelling and Grammar: 9.3/10

Character Development: 10/10

Overall Quality: 10/10

Opinion:

It is a really interesting concept. I think that it was really good, so far.

I would say that it is a very original concept. So far we are greeted with Ignia and his mom, Moon. The way how they interact with each other and their actions adds depth to their characters. I feel that you did a great job with their character development.

I also enjoyed when you used "said" and "answered," you continued them with an action or a tone in their voice, which added depth to their personalities:

Now for the grammar and spelling, I did notice a few mistakes. For example, one spelling mistake I saw was that you used the word "bended" rather than "bent." The past tense of "to bend" is "bent." The only time you would use "bended" is "bended knees."

For the grammar, I did notice some. For example:

I saw another person in the comment section mention that you don't need spaces between the words and the hyphens, which I agree with. I would recommend changing this, such as "Semi-Demon."

Next, I noticed some run-on sentences:

For the sentence that starts with "The Great Aide..." is a run-on. I would recommend using a comma before the "and it serves..." For the other run-on sentences, you could put a comma before the "and."

Another grammar error I noticed was comma splices:

Here, for the sentence that starts with "His hair was..." you can see that you combined two complete sentences with a comma. This is known as a comma splice. I would recommend, instead of using a comma, a way to avoid this is by using a semi-colon. That way, you can avoid accidental comma splices. But another way is by just adding ", and."

Lastly, I noticed this:

It is a bit hard to tell what the problem is here, but I will rewrite the sentence again to the way I would recommend fixing it:

"The current king, King Barar, was ageing and had become weak due to prolonged illness."

The reason I suggest this is because by adding "King Barar," it feels like you are defining who the current king is. It is kind of like, "The current king, who's King Barrar, ..."

Either than those few mistakes, I enjoyed your story. Can't wait for more to come!

Read the story by Baqkns