Earlier today, I was eating a really big popsicle.  It's long and it literally has the circumference of an average dick.  It's literally called a Monster Pop.

Oh look I found a little kid holding one!

My mom always told me that I can never eat Popsicles around men, so I assume it's because I eat them sensually.  Which I do.  I watched myself in the mirror once, like, oh God.  It's completely unintentional, too.

So I'm just innocently sucking away on my dick-like popsicle when my mom walks into the room in a tizzy.  With her attitude game strong, she put her hands on her hips and asks, "What are you doing?"

I sucked extra hard, making my cheeks hollow, as I slid my dicksicle out of my mouth.  I made sure to make a loud slurp at the end, too.  Then I turned to her, looked her straight in the eye and said, "Improving my blow job skills, obviously. What'd you think I was doing?"

My mom:

She left before I could say I was joking!

BUT HER FACE OH GOD HER FACE
I'M-