WARNING: I started this when I should be sleeping. So it's horrible. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

You know that type of fanfiction about the long lost sister of Harry Potter? Yeah, those. I hate those. It's like

"Hey Harry, I'm your long lost twin sister thingy that was never there for you and literally disappeared off the face of earth for like 18 years but now I'm here! and have super amazing powers and can do wandless magic without even learning :)"

And Harry literally accepts it without question

Like, " Oh that's cool let's go to the Three Brooms and drink some Butterbeer!"

And they link arms and skip happily into the sunset, while Ginny is crying behind them. 

JK

Then the story goes on and it's all about the long lost sister. They do impossible things, like being smarter than Hermione, beating Ron at chess, having more than one animagus, etc. And hey, guess what? They are a Metamorphmagus too. AND THEY HAVE FRIGGIN WINGS OR SOMETHING. Oh, and you would think she was a Veela from how many people fall for her.  AND she's better than Harry at Quidditch. Seriusly ? calm down. You can't possibly be smarter than Hermione, and beating Ron at chess is only something us amateurs can dream about. 

So here's an example. 

CHAPTER 1 (with author's amazing comments throughout. In italics)

Harry's POV:

I was in Hogwarts (didn't he already finish school?) when the front doors got slammed down and someone came in.  

"HELLO HARRY, GUESS WHAT, I'M YOUR LONG LOST SISTER AND STUFF, I CAN ALSO DO WANDLESS MAGIC!" (even Dumbledore can't do that, so how can you)

A girl with long black hair, flawless snow white skin, and perfect features shouted. She had an immense aura of power, and stuff. 

I was confused (that sounded like Percy tho) (I meant Jackson)

"Uhhh...what? But where were you for the past 18 yeMPHHH"

"Shhh...we don't talk about that."

"Oh, right. OK ALRIGHT, LET'S GO TO DRINK BUTTERBEER TOGETHER, BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME YET!"

" OH I'M *Insert super cool first name* *Insert super cool second name* POTTER BUT YOU CAN CALL ME POTTIE TO AVOID CONFUSION (the Author is too lazy to think of a cliche name). I WAS RAISED BY DUMBLEDORE BECAUSE I WAS TOO POWERFUL. THO DUMBLEDOOR SOMEHOW FORGOT ALL ABOUT INTRODUCING ME TO YOU. " (Beech if you were so powerful how come Dumbledore forgot about you? Plus dumbledore is ded. LOLZ GO CRI NOW FANGIRLS)

--------------------------------don't mind me, just a line break---------------------------------------------

"YOU-KNOW-WHO IS RISING AGAIN" someone shouted

"AHA! IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE" Pottie screamed. The original Voldemort-defeater trio is no where to be seen. Probably in the Fourth house (is that correct? Like the ones from Kane Chronicles) or something. 

Pottie used a very powerful wand and blasted Voldemort back to the Fields of Punishments. 

THE END

Random question of the Chapter: 42?