I was happy back then when I was young.
But as I grew older, sadness came by within a second.
It is okay to be sad sometimes?
Or is it okay to bottle up the emotions that I have for all my life?

I was known as an electron.
Charging my negative energy as what science said.
I place a mask of positivity telling everyone that I'm okay.
But as I was alone, loneliness filled in knowing that my negative emotions never go away...

I never wanted to cut myself but,
Out of all things that I like to use for cutting,
I like to use scissors to put up small invisible scars
Oh those invisible scars that I want to be filled with dismay.

Although I'm being coy to everyone in my life,
Under my 'fake' happiness , is another day that I have to bottle up my emotions.
But I'm glad that no one knows my emotions
Even though I have a few close friends, I feel like a fake, the coward or even a decoy.

Everyone may seem to be okay.
But once you dig deeper,
All the happiness will be taken away
And your life will change for eternity.

Life isn't that much of an ease,
For I want to be deceased by the disease
Negativity can screw my life
But that doesn't mean it can screw the people I love.

You may wonder on why I want to be dead
But at the same time, I want to be alive.
Other people motivated everyone that there are opportunities that they should not miss.
But for me, I motivate people just for them to feel the gratitude towards their friends and family.

Instead of cutting myself, I should love myself
Instead of hurting myself, I should smile more
Instead of giving up, I should embrace my weirdness
Instead of losing faith, I should think...of everyone I care about and how much they are valuable to me

More valuable to me than jewels
More precious to me than expensive luxury
More lovable to me than I love myself
And more motivating to me than I could've wish for.

Note(very long):it's currently 1am and I couldn't sleep...but I'll be offline tomorrow morning...Coz I have to buy some stuff in the morning just for washing dishes and gonna buy some snacks :3 I wrote this poem based on my experience from last time. It was...dreadful so I made this poem to tell you that you are gifted by existing in the same planet as I am. and that gift is what we should never throw. Because when you commit suicide, there will be more more friends to hang out with, no more family vacations, no more food that you like to eat and no more wattpad even. Once you done it, there will be nothing but people repeating the picture in their heads over and over until they did the same thing as you. And if you're reading this and you're about to do the committing thing but stop because it's not worth it, then you're a strong person and deep down in your heart, you're always loved by the people who love you too. Even though they are whether in online or in real life. I should stop blabbering about stuff I should sleep now. Thank you for reading this poem and my long note. If ya want more poems and quotes, then comment down below so that I won't miss a thing. Thanks again and il laws you in the next one. Bye!