Why did this all have to happen, all this crazy shit? I want everything back to normal... back the way it used to be... I don't want to be stuck at home no more... I want to be out, I want to be away from all these thoughts and knowing... knowing what I really am to the world... I can't get away from crying myself to sleep, can't get away from the thoughts, always thinking about how I'm nothing, how I'm just some burden for everyone, how nothing good I have ever lasts and this started the downfall of all the good things I had left...
Honestly... I'm scared... and jealous... and angry.... I feel every emotion I could possibly feel towards all of my friends and family... cause none of this changed their lives like it did me...
And I don't mean physically, I mean socially. Everyone I know gets to talk to other friends, family, even people online... but I can't... I don't know why I can't, I've explained last time that most of my friends just leave me on read... and I can't talk to people on here or other places cause they too won't talk to me, plus I hate not being able to have met someone in person granted not as much as the first problem...
Why can't I be like everyone else?... why can't I just have some sort of normalcy like them?...
Why do I have to feel so shunned away from the world and be stuck behind glass?...