This rant is exactly how it sounds and I don't care cause holy shit this was an unnecessary two months worth of it. I am planning on making myself a jewelry business, it just feels right, like the thought alone makes me light and feel proud, I can't quite explain it any better. But I don't want to show myself, I just don't like it, so I decided I was gonna be a character, my own in fact that I created for my friends and my potential DnD group that's yet to pick places and times. I've also been getting paid for cleaning the house, since I'm the only one picking up after two fucking adults without an ounce of help... so I decide that since I've not only worked hard but racked up a lot of money why not go for a great quality dress for my character that I will be wearing to every expo or con I plan on selling at?
I spent three days, three, trying to not only find the closest genre of clothing but the perfect dress and oml are there so many cute Lolita dresses! Finally find the one, triple check that the store is trustable and my own measurements are right and I go tell my parents, aunts, and grandma. I knew my parents weren't going to be buying it soon so I told the rest a plan of splitting up the cost as bday gifts since it was getting close.
I never knew I had to fight so much for this one dress... I get some of it, we're poor but we also manage through the struggles almost every time, 150 is a lot for a dress when you usually settle for cheap. But that was the problem, they all kept thinking that I was only gonna wear it for Halloween no matter how much I told them it wasn't just that.
But finally, finally after my bday my parents decide they can pay for it!
They kept giving me the card when I was at my most busiest parts of the fucking days so I end up waiting another two weeks, I dreaded it cause I knew it wasn't from somewhere close so I couldn't ensure when it would come. And when I finally pay and even for express shipping which was a fuckin lot at that

It's unavailable... I waited not only a month an a half but 8 days more-monday this monday! I fucking learn that it wasn't available and I can't just exchange it for another dress cause I can't wait 7 business days now...
I haven't felt this fucking crushed in so long... I had my heart set on that dress, it was the most perfect, beautiful, and absolutely fitting dress for my character that I fought so fucking hard to get my mom to agree on... I haven't cried this hard in forever and I scared the shit out of my dogs punching the wall too (Ik its bad but its a strong release for me, and it was either hit myself or that wall. I can't break anything but myself at least.)
And I still had to struggle until now at 2 in the fuckin mornin to get a refund since it's morning or something there apparently, and find alternatives on Amazon which I was avoiding so hard since there's so many knockoffs and who knows which ones are just awful.

But on the bright side I've apparently lost weight and now a whole dress size down... yay I guess...