I done set my hopes up too high... I'm such a fucking idiot, what's wrong with me... everytime I do anything with another person it always ends, always... I hate it... what's so wrong with me? Am I boring? Am I ugly? Am I too much of a softie? Too afraid of ruining everything that I'm just there to pity? What am I doing wrong? I don't care about feeling special, I've never felt special... I just want a normal relationship, any relationship, a relationship that doesn't die off... I wanna be at least that special... to have something last, whatever kind of relationship it is... I'm tired of feeling like I'm doing something wrong... I always get those, "It's not you it's me" conversations... every fucking time! It's feeling less and less them than it is me with each one.
I'm not doing anything other than being me... am I really that bad to be around?... I can try to change...
These nights are just getting worse...