I hate having anxiety... it always makes me think and it never stops. It's worse when it comes out of the blue... like, I'm used to being told none of my friends actually like me and never having the balls to talk to anyone about it. Or them dropping me, but that's also cause I used to be bullied either about being a nobody who shouldn't be trying, or I'd be bullied out cause I was too much of an idiot to understand the latter.
But now... I keep thinking that I've done so much wrong... that I'm awful to everyone I know... I try to think of when I might have been too much for people, I know I have had unreasonable moments but I can't think of it being one sided. I can't even imagine a single human not being that way at least once.
But of course I have to think that, cause why would I know when I've been too much, despite always having a paranoid worry over being too much, too nervous, too quiet, too loud... pretty much everything...
I just... can't stop feeling it since I thought it... why can't I stop...