Does anyone else every just... feel worthless to the world? Like you're only kinda good enough for one thing to people and if you disappeared they either won't care or just, I don't know maybe think once about you?
I guess it's pretty obvious I feel like that a lot but I can't help it... I don't want to be alone so I stretch my neck out. And I guess I don't know how to be much of anything cause nothing else seems to ever work for me. I can't help but worry... worry about them dropping me... ignoring me... thinking I'm a pest...
I want to interact so I try everything I can to stay interesting for them and take every cue... every little text or left on read... every change on them...
I don't want to worry anymore... I don't want to need to know I'm somewhat important to at least something... I just want to be happy... not scared all the time...
I feel like I'm just an annoyance to everyone because of all this anxiety and depression and who knows what else is wrong with me...
I don't know why I'm always feeling this way... in a way it feels worse than my old problems I had when my parents were always fighting and screaming at me... I guess then people wanted to be around me so I always had an escape... but now... there is no escapes... and no one seems to really care... and even though my moms tried to get me out of the house going to places like to get food or visit my grandma just isn't the same as having a friend... it's family, I already know family and they're no where the same age or have the same interests so I don't feel in place... I just feel like I'm in another box...