I probably sound like a broken record but god I miss talking and I hate it... I didn't realize how bad I missed it... fearing for the conversations to end is such an awful nerve raking feeling... like... I'm not ready to go back to silence but how am I supposed to say that without feeling like a piece of shit and wasting someones time? I feel like I'm toxic but no one wants to admit it to me...

I don't blame it... not like I come from that great of a family, so I doubt I'm that good to hang around...

It just.... hurts, going from talking everyday almost all day to straight up not talking for days and now weeks, I had to have done something wrong. Did I say or do something? Not only that but to have most of your thoughts proven right hurts even more, but though I don't feel like I am maybe I'm just jealous that they get to talk to so many other interesting people and I can only talk to like three, well not even anymore, mostly just chickens and dogs now...