You know... I was gonna write about some more of my thoughts today and post it but for once... I was actually helped rather than be help for others then pushed aside. I've been laying here for three hours crying now, over the fact that I'm oversensitive to peoples tones and body languages and fear the worst because I don't know if I'm reading between the lines too deep or not and I'm the only one who can tell myself that. Sure I could ask but I've been lied to so many times I just don't trust when anyone says that I'm not a bother or anything of the sorts. For once, I was able to open up and share what's going on in my head and be listened to, not only that but have someone tell me they've felt the same from their own experiences and were just as unsure and still continue to let me talk. Sure I shared this on here but no one fuckin reads these, it's just me hopelessly wanting someone to, for them to understand, to feel they aren't alone and that I'm not either. But that doesn't happen, I'm a nobody on here and no effort put out is working.
But for once, for once I finally feel my chest is lighter, for once I've cried out of joy. Which hurts me physically just as much but it feels warmer on my face.
I've never had this before, to be able to be listened to without hypothetical ideas, or looking at a second side of a story and making me more worried, it was just about me and letting my thoughts go. I feel so happy yet so scared. It's sad that I've never felt this till now, but to me it's scary, what if it's the only time this one little good happens to me?