Life sometimes just likes to grab you by the waist and buttfuck you like crazy. Crazy poetry right? I know! I know how that feels and I know ir pretty well. But to explain the reason of my current misery, we'll need to backtrack to the point where Payic was alive and we thought Backlion was dead, to a point before I met my older sister, my "onee-sama" if you wanna be a weeb. And that was all... 45 minutes ago. And by the way, this is your best friend Ryuzaki Mikazuchi speaking. I know right? Finally Shida is writing this OVA and is doing it in his phone like a complete idiot! But we're not here to roast Shida, we're here to meme our way to victory.

About 45 minutes ago... Maybe a hour...

"I say we run over an Overlord with a truck."

"Dumbass idea, that's OVA number 2. Try again, Mav."

"We run over an Overlord with two trucks."

"Iku, what the fuck? That's my idea!"

"It's INU! I-N-U!"

"Why not do something normal today?" Payic asked. Oh sweetie, doing normal things in this OVAs is something we never did and will never do.

"Wanna use the Rod of Plot Development?"

"Fuck yeah I do. Maverick you genius." What's a Rod of Plot Devopment? It's the same as the rod from Memefinity. Does it teleports? Maybe. Does it develop the plot? Fuck yeah it does.

"Last time you got a rod that did something we ended up fighting a wannabe Thanos! Do you really want to do something that stupid again?"

"Sure do."

"Are you nuts?!"

"Sure do. Or sure am. Which ever one works best. I'm not suppost to know how to use grammar." I grabbed the rod and activated it. Ten plain seconds of nothing happened. "This is ass..."

"Hahahaha! Get cucked, asshole!"

"Shut up, Inulino!"

"IT'S JUST INU! JUST INU GODDAMMIT!"

Midway through another dumb argument because of Ifu's name, I got ourselves another protal opening on the middle of the underground lab of my mansion. The portal was green and totally edgy.

"Oh great, this crap again!" Payic said. "Proud, Ryuzu?"

"Fuck yeah I am."

"Pray that it won't be another interdimensional retard, asshole."

"So mean, Iu."

"Oi oi Maverick... This time you just forgot the N..."

"Oops, sorry Iju."

"You little bitch..."

Salty Iku is just the best. But back to the edgy portal. Obviously something had to walk out from the damn thing, and said something was a girl. A hot girl. Little did I know that we shared genetics. Now how to describe this thot... Black hair, green eyes, big tits and totally the type of girl you would call Big Tiddy Goth Girlfriend. On another words, just another black haired person who Yza wouldn't trust if he was alive.

"Oh brother..." The thot said. For plot reasons and because her name is actually what I'm gonna call her, let's call her Ryuza.

"Ryuza..."

"Wait, you know her? Have you been seeing other girls behind my back?"

"Wut? Nah, I just guessed and read some old shit about my dad's labs. To make it simple, remember big E Rainbow Man? He wanted to kill my ass because I'm the only Ryuzaki who a) was born from an actual mother and b) wasn't Myoujin's first creation. On another words, that bitch is my one-sama."

"She can be my big sister anytime..."

"Eww Ifu, stop drolling. That's my sister were talking about."

But yeah, she was the first child of my dad, meaning that she is an actual clone. How bad was the cloning machine? Instead of making a male clone of a man, it made a female clone of a man, you tell me. And yes, I have a mother, which means that my dad banged a woman and I was born from her. Easy genetics.

"What do you want, Ryuza?"

"Oh brother, you know my name. How wonderful. I want what's mine by right."

"Why not by left?"

"Come on asshole, that's a worse joke than getting my name wrong."

"You're right, Inu. Ryuza, what's yours by right and why the hell is your name Ryuza?"

"It's cool and stylish."

"That's what Izanoku will say in a couple of months." Yeah this happens before Z World. This means that Callum is still caged like an animal and can't hurt my Maverick. "Don't ask who she is, she is irrelevant."

"I came for father's fortune. I was born first and I deserve everything you have."

"Get lost, you wannabe edgy female me."

"Huh, Ryuzu? The rod didn't made that portal."

About that... Maverick was right, the rod didn't opened the portal and didn't developed the plot. The plot developed itself. Who opened the portal? My bitchass sister Ryuza. She had tech that did that shit.

"Then I'll just have to get it myself." Ryuza said, snapping her fingers. It was at this moment must of us didn't felt so good.

Maverick and Iku got themselves teleported somewhere while ma and Payic managed to escape the portals under our feet. Everything was right until something very bad happened. A sudden portal appeared behind Payic and she was dragged into the depths of an abyss. My Payic was gone...

"You little bi-" You think Ryuza was done? Nope. That bitch got some mad shanking skills. While I was too busy seeing Payic be sent to her obvious doom, Ryuza got herself a knife and cutted my left eye right off my head before sending me into a portal that lead to another planet.

That was all about 30 minutes. I've been stranded on another planet for about 15 minutes and will be leaving in like 15. Back to the story.

I entered the paralel planet. One of my eyes was completly gone and I felt every single bit of pain. Where was I? I don't know. Only I could see was the inside of a room full of battles. I was near blacking out and my vission started getting blurry. I could hear voices of men preparing for battle. Everything was like a normal day in the life of Ryuzaki Mikazuchi until...

"Welcome to this planet, Ryuzaki."

"I know that voice..." I knew that voice, my mind couldn't grasp it. It only showed everything going white and so I, was blacked out. I wouldn't wake up until the next five minutes...

"What are you doing here, fuckface? Wasn't killing Yza enough?"  was awake when saying this, obviously. I glared at the man in front of me. Who was he? Quite easy. Mr. I play Spectral and Claret Sword because they are good, the fuckface himself: Backlion Demiza.

"I didn't killed him, he went to Cray on his own will."

"But now he's gone, so explain yourself. Why are you in this planet?"

"Spectral dropped me onto a river and once I woke up, I was here. I've been a gladiator in this damn planet for over three months."

"Bitch, it's been a month ever since all the shit you did was undone."

"Time works differently here then."

"Seems fair. So what's up with this fuckface planet?"

"You become a gladiator and fight for your life. In the five minutes you were sleeping, I got us into a fight with the best one around."

"Bitch you did WHAT?! WHY?!"

"Because if we win, we are both free."

"Oh your motherfucker... Fine." I grabbed a random sword. "I'll pull an anime plot armour cliche and win once you get dropped."

And about five minutes later... Our fight started. We were side by side inside a giant coloseum full of aliens.

"Just so you know, I don't believe Yza is dead."

"Same here fuckface, I'm investigating his death and don't think he died." At this point, I can only focus on protecting my japanase Justin Bieber. Yozora is better than Yza if you ask me.

"Stop calling me fuckface."

"Never fuckface."

The time was now. The gates on the side opposite to ours started slowly craking. Whatever was on the other side sure want a piece of our ass... And he gets it.

The gate was bursted into small pieces. On the other side, there was this humanoid giant thing like holy shit. Imagine Juggernaunt from Deadpool two, yellow jumpsuit and no sleeves, and then this big ass helmet... But with spikes. Like, a shit ton of them! I knew who that was! I read about him on the intercept. They called him... Juggsman. Does that sounds like Juggernaunt? Because it sounds for me. I was honoured for beingJuggsman's oppoenet. I was almost nutting on my white pants.

"Juggsman! I'm like your biggest fan! Thank god I'm wearing the white pants today!"

"Huh, Ryuzaki, run." Fuckface Backlion started running to the to the left. What a wuss.

"Pleasured in meeting a fan, I'm gonna take your arm off now." Juggsman said as he walked towards me.

"That's such a Juggsman thing to say!" Spoiler alert: he wasn't kidding. He got near me and grabbed by waist with his left hand alone. Using his right hand, he ripped my right arm right off my body.

"JESUS FUCK MY GOOD ARM!"

"I'm gonna slap your boyfriend now." Juggsman threw me to the floor while still holding my ripped off arm. Fuckface tried to attack Juggs from the back but got grabbed instead. Just like an animal, Juggsman started btich slapping Backlion using my own arm.

"Why is your boyfriend hitting you? Why is your boyfriend hitting you? Why is your boyfriend hitting?"

And that kids is how I met your mother...

But not really. That's everything that happened until the moment Planet Ryuzaki started with me doing poetry. I was explaining everything to fuckface.

"Huh, that seems... Plausible. But why did you ahd to explain the parts that I knew?"

"Because." I was playing with this mechanicala rm fuckface got me. Shit's works good. "Now let's go."

"Where? We can't leave the weapon room."

"Oh for fuck sake..." He took some high tech explosives and start throwing them at walls as everything started to shake and exploded. "Can we now go?"

"I'm going to enjoy becoming your friend..." Fuckface said as eh followed. little did he know, I didn't wanted to become his friend either.

We got ourslevees some spaceships and flew way into space. It was our time to say goodbye.

"See ya, fuckface." I said through the ship's communication system."

"I'll see you too later, Ryuzaki." Fukcface flew away... But then something funny happened. A wormhole appeared right in front of him and he was sucked onto it. Rest in peace, Backlion. I just used Memefinity War's plot rod to get back to Earth. I just wasn't made for space. 

Meanwhile in my mansion, Ryuza was exploring MY underground lab while eating some chips. Fucking bitch was getting the floor dirty with chips rests.

"I think I could use some company." She snapped ehr fingers, causing a portal to open and bring to my lab a familiar face in a helmet. "Hello Juggsman, do you wish to get a job?"

"I'm interested."

"AH SON OF A BITCH!" I crashed the ship right into my backyard. Thankfully, I was alright. You ain't gonna see me die on my own story anytime soon.

"Ryuzu!"

"Asshole!"

I knew those voices... Maverick and I4u.

"You two are here! How?"

"We got ourselves plane tickets to return. Easy easy, Ryuzu. What about your arm and eye?"

"Juggernaunt from Deadpool got my arm, Hela from Thor Ragnarok got my eye."

"I hate the fact that sounds legit." I8u said. Now I'm replacing the N by numbers. I'm a freaking GENIUS.

"Ryuza took out Payic and has our house, but I got a bullshit plan. Now let's roll."

The three of us entered the lab ins low motion style looking like a bunch of idiotic badass because let's face it, we fucking are.

We got to the lab and there she was. Ryuza, waiting for us to appear.

"Oh brother, what took you so long?"

"Space traffic, one-chan."

"Ewww, weeb."

"Shut it, Ion."

"Now you got two letters wrong..."

"Anyway, we're here to get my out shit back and get revenge on Payic."

"Whatever you say." The bitch turned around and walked into a room. I ran after her into the room like a degenerate while Maverick and Iku stayed behind.

"Ryuzu left us..."

"That asshole sure did! What the hell?!" Inu looked around like a mad dog. "I hear someone running!"

"Where?"

"On the other side of that wall!"

The wall Iku pointed to bursted into pieces, revealing none other than Juggsman himself. He was angry and was ready to kill Maveric and I4u on the spot. This is the time where you play the song on the media.

"I'm gonna melt your bones and make a cock ring."

"Hey hey, Maverick!"

"I got this." Maverick's skin turned into cold hard steel. "AAAHHHHHH!" He grabbed Juggsman by the spikes on his helment and threw him to the floor. "BROVIET MAN!"

"Motherfucker!" Juggsman got up and grabbed both of Maverick's arms. "WHAT NOW BITCH?!"

"AAHHHH!!!" Maverick managed to free one of his arm and sucker punch the holes on Juggs' helmet, hitting the eyes with a strong and ugly metal punch.

Juggsboi was blinded by the punches and let go of Maverick. He walked around like a dizzy fool while covering his eyes.

"Iku, now!" Maverick grabbed a random cable he had laying around she shoved it up Juggsman's ass. After that, he jumped to the side, causing the lab to tremble due to his iron body hitting the floor.

Inu appeared out of nowehere with an oversized cannon in hand. "My name is..." He aimed it at Juggsman and started shooting an electronic laser at the guy, causing him to be electrocuted with over a thousands bolts. "INUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Juggsman's heart eventually stopped, causing him to drop dead on the floor.

"SUCK IT BITCH!"

I followed Ryuza to the other room but we didn't fought. Instead, we just talked while walking around.

"This is all mine! I was the first one!"

"Bitch please, I was born from the old man having sex, I'm technically his first and only child."

"I was his first creation and the best one! I can open portals for crying out loud!"

"Nah, you do that because of Shida's dumb plot but that's a story for another day."

"What are you speaking about? You are an insane fool!"

"Maybe, but right now, I have the high ground." And by high ground, I meant a drawer. A special one. I opened it and took out a seringe. He threw my robotic arm at Ryuza, causing her to flinch. What did I do with the seringe? Easy. I inject all of what was inside into my body, making my lost eye and arm to grow back. "BOOM, MIRACLE HEAL PULLING PLOT ARMOUR BITCH! Maxios must be crying." Maybe. I don't know, is he still a cripple one month after Yza died? Fox, answer me and I'll prevent Hikaru from roasting you on the next QnA. Wait, a Spiral Terra reference inside a C4 OVA that happens between Cray's Collapse and Z World? That's like, breaking all types of walls.

"You got some organs back, how does that changes this match up?"

"I don't know." A grabbed a remote with a big green button and pressed it. "You know GetsstabbedbyPayicinthebackifsayswho?"

Ryuza stared at me with a confused look. "Who?"

"I said... You know 'Gets stabbed by Payic in the back if says who'?"

"What..?" That dumb bitch got what she deserved. Out of nowhere, a throwing spear came right through her heart. "WHAT?! HOW?!"

Behind her, there was everyone's favourite black haired person. The one and only... Thick Payic! Or just Payic because she already is thick.

"That's what you get for sending me into the depths of Earth, bitch!"

"YOU SHOULD BE DEAD! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE AND HERE?!"

"Easy. Shida's poor writing choices, bitch! See this remote? I press this button and change a point in time that happened at least two hours ago or less. I made it so that the portal you threw Payic into led to my closet. Now me and her are gonna kick your ass."

"No, let me handle this." Payic said, grbabing a baseball bat out of nowhere. She slowley walked up to Ryuza and their battle begin.

Moans, sweat, shaking tits. Imagine Keijo but with big tiddy goth g and best girl Payic.

"You messed with my team!" She slamemd the bat on Ryuza's head. "You messed with my life!" She did it again. "And you messed with my Ryuzaki!" She did it a last time.

"This... Is not... The end..." Ryuza snapped her finegrs, causing her to get into a last minute portal. Fucking cheater.

"That's it? Goth onee-chan is gone? Aight I'm cool with it. So that's it? We're done with this OVA? Finally!"

"Ryuzu!" Maverick came running throught he door, still in Broviet Man mode. "There are ships outside! Like, big communist ships!"

"Oh god..."

We all ran outside and looking up at the skies. There were at least three ships in the skies.

"Is this..." Maverick started. "A Hardbass Dysnaty?"

"Maybe... But not realy because that's as canon as my Ryuzaki Rare Dust." I pressed a button on one of my rods and the ships were gone. You wanted Harbass Dynasty? Well fuck you, you're getting C4 in England and Ultima touching my nutsack. Rolls the credits and the post credit scenes!

Staring:

Rychrisan Reyhemsworthnolds as a wannabe Thor-Deadpool named Ryuzaki

Everyone thought she died but she's more alive than most fan card users in the CCEU as best girl Payic

Kid with guns who barelly did anything in this OVA as I69u

Metal man who also didn't do much as Metal Maverick

"Why are we in Mexico?" Inu asked, holding a water bottle in his hand. "Answer me Payiiiiic."

"Stop whinning! We're here to see Ryuzaki's mother."

"But we're in the middle of the airport and the heat is too strooooong."

"Stop it, Iku. Everything is gonna be fine!" Maverick said with a thumbs up. "Hey look!" He pointed a middle aged white haired woman with light blue eyes. She was around her 30s and didn't had any wrinckle at all. Her skin was as pale as Ryuzaki's and they didn't really looked different. She stopped and looked around.

"Mom..." Ryuzaki muttered.

"Mommazaki? More like, Milfzaki!" Iku said like the fucking pig he is. You really think I didn't had the POV here? Come on, I'm Ryuzaki. Back to the credits!

Hela from Thor: Ragnarok looking like a bangable anime girl as onee-chan Ryuza

Juggernaunt and Juggernaunt Maximum going Gogeta as "why are you slapping your boyfriend" Juggsman

"Where am I..." Backlion mumbled, slowly opening his eyes. He sat up and looked around. Around him, there were baby pands. Special baby pandas. "They look like the cards Iku's brother used..." Suddenly, he felt two big arms pulling him into a big hug and something trying to stick a thing in his mouth. "STOP! I'M NO TOY!"

The one pulling fuckface Backlion into his arms was Amazing Professor, Bigbelly and what he was trying to put it his mouth was the tip of a baby bottle full of milk. Backlion had crashed in the Zoo nation of Cray after he got in the wormhole and ever since then, the one treating him had been Bigbelly. He treated fuckface like one his own child.

Now I have another reason to call fuckface a furry. Backlion is better with Great Nature units than Maxios so now Maxios cries. I think this does it for post credit scenes.

Spectral and CSD are meta as Fuckface Furry Backlion

References to the rest of the CCEU through Maxios crying as spicy references

Canon shit as canon shit

Lilius Pumperino as soundtrack with Lil Pump

Thor Ragnarok and Deadpool 2 as the plot of this OVA

Shida not knowing what to write in the credits as the ending of the OVA

A woman Iku wants to bang like a fucking pig as Ryuzaki's mother who you should respect

A non-existent A/N as a non-existent A/N

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