Genre: Teen Fiction

Summary: He whispered into my ear as the cold wind blew, "I like you, a lot. It would be the greatest thing if you like me too."

And that moment, I swear, this was going to be one for the books.

+ Cover

It is a very nice and simple one and I can honestly say that I like it.

Rating: 8/10

+ Title

Even though I am not sure as to how it ties in with the story, I can being in my own conclusions. (More than just a crush?) So nice one.

Rating: 7/10

+ Summary

Your summary is really nice. Its gives the idea of a short and cute love story and many closet romantics out there would probably squeal at the sweet line.

Rating: 8/10

+ Plot

I have to admit that I see no plot. It seems like there is something between Mason and Alice but nothing concrete yet. I would love it if you make it a bit more clear.

Rating: 5/10

+ Character

Alice seems like a sweet girl and Mason too sounds like a sweetheart. But (yes, there is a but) I couldn't relate to any of them. Alice should technically be relatable since all girls out there have had an unattainable crush and it would be a dream come true when he confesses. But unfortunately she isn't. More on it later.

Rating: 5/10

+ Chapters

Length: Short and sweet.

Grammar, etc: I pointed a few out in the inline comments.

General:

My main problem was confusion. Everything seemed to be happening so fast that I couldn't figure out what was happening. You should add in more details to make the scene realistic and transport the readers there.

The first part, where Mason and her encounter takes place, is a really sweet moment and can be squeezed for all it romantic moments. But in the end, I felt like it was just being dictated rather than shown. That is never a good thing.

And the second chapter had me scratching my head in utter confusion. What about lunch? Who were ever friends? Who left her on Monday? How did Chrissy and her classmate get close? What?

I am sorry if I sound rude, that really isn't my intention but you have to correct it.

The story has a lot of potential and it would be a shame to let it go to waste. This can be a short, sweet and romantic story to bring a smile on people's faces and with a bit of editing it would be perfect!

+ Conclusion

This is a short, sweet story about love. It may need to be edited but it is worth taking a look at. Afterall, who doesn't like a Love Story?

+ Overall Rating

6/10