Genre: Teen Fiction

Summary: The art of lies and betrayal is new to LeAnna.

LeAnna's life is a complex mess of tangled secrets and she's barely getting keeping herself together. When the responsibility of protecting her little sister falls to her, LeAnna decides its time to start over.

LeAnna couldn't afford to get swept up in trivial high school drama.

Unfortunately it's hard not to get involved when, for the first time in her life, she feels like she fits in. And then came along Hunter Frost - an irresistibly, infuriating boy who has made it his life mission to uncover all her secrets.

Ever since they met, Hunter couldn't help but be drawn in by her mysterious, fun nature. However, when LeAnna keeps backing away with each step Hunter takes forward, he finds it hard to give up the chase.

Hunter loves a challenge. This one he refuses to lose.

What LeAnna doesn't know is that Hunter might not be on her side after all.

+Cover

To be honest, I didn't find the cover appealing. The girl seems a bit too cheerful for the kind of story you have published and it kind of looks more like a light hearted drama than a mystery/ dark story.

I would recommend you try to request a better cover than gives a more mysterious vibe so it would reel in the readers.

Rating: 6/10

+ Title

You need to change it. It isn't that bad but it doesn't sit right. There are many better alternatives you can use.

Rating: 6.5/10

+ Summary

The first line of the summary contrasts with the next paragraph. I think you meant to say 'not new' rather than new. Other than that, the summary is pretty perfect. It's eye-catching and gets the readers interested in reading more. No other changes need to be made.

Rating: 8.5/ 10

+Plot

It is not a completely unique plot but a very common one. The only thing is that everyone has a different way of representing it and that makes more a difference.

I like the way you described it and the main difference I felt is the introduction of Jace. Because that means Hunter may not be the good guy as well think he should be.

Rating: 7.5/10

+ Characters

I admit it, I loved Jace. There was something about him that makes me want to know more about him. It helps that he is so sweet towards LeAnna. I was literally squealing at the part where he gave her the car and told her to get away.

LeAnna is not a bad protagonist. There is nothing that makes her stand out of the crowd so she is quite normal. I haven't found any defining traits in her that makes me want to know her more. I am neutral about her, since it is the start of the story and we don't know her that well.

Hunter, for some reason, gets on my nerves. Maybe because he is competition for Jace? I don't think so since I have a feeling that Jace and LeAnna will end up together. But he is irritating for some reason though that is a personal opinion. In the story, we haven't seen enough of him to have an opinion.

The others are just fleeting. You just introduced them and to be frank I don't remember them except for Ethan cause he is the most elaborated one.

If you are expecting them to be of importance then I would suggest dedicating a chapter to the interactions between them so we can get to know them better.

+ Chapters

Length: Perfect, not much to say here.

Grammar, Sentence Structure, etc: The prologue will be your downfall..... that sounded dramatic didn't it? Well, your prologue had a lot of dramatic scenes but not enough feeling or reactions to make it relatable. It was far too robotic to make a real impact on the audience. There are tons of mistakes that need to be addressed.

The rest of the book is a lot better. There are still a few grammatical errors but it is loads better than the Prologue.

But your prologue is the place where people will judge your story and you need it to be perfect. Mistakes can be fatal in the way that it would make the readers lose interest.

General: By far, the first chapter was my favorite. It showed an insight into her life and the problems she was facing even after the death of her mother. The interactions between the characters were enhanced in this. The reactions seemed realistic and I like the way Maria and her small sister interacted with her.

Chapter Three, when she twists Ethan's hand was an awesome part to read. I could nearly imagine the expression of surprise and shock on everyone's face as she made that move. Bet they didn't see that coming xD

That being said, you need to edit you Prologue badly. Put in more emotions when she falls from the window. Don't make her the stereotypical drunk. Let her talk in such a way that it hurts LeAnna personally rather than just calling her some names. This prologue can be tapped for its dramatic emotional drama. Utilize that.

'She kept on punching me as I cried out, trying to shield myself. But it was of no use, she was a lot stronger than me. I kept on struggling and suddenly, she was flying backwards, her arms spread out.

The shocked expression remained etched to her face as she fell out the window.

Maria stood beside the window, staring down with a horror struck look. I felt my hands shake as I scrambled to my feet, ignoring the various stabs of pain that shot through me.

We all huddled by the window and stared down at my mother's body that was spread eagle shaped on the side walk with the blood nearly invisible against the dark pavement.

She was dead.'

Something along these lines that keep the readers on the edge of their seat.

Other than that, the only thing you need to take a look at is the cover and title.

+ Conclusion

Do not judge this book by its title, cover or prologue. It has a lot of potential that can be seen from the first chapter so give it a try!

+Overall Rating

8/10