Genre: Teen Fiction

Summary: It all started with a simple High School crush.

Lena Jones is your typical teenaged girl.She's oblivious about how smart and pretty she is.She might get bullied but that doesn't effect her in anyway WhatSoEver. Even if she has her crush on Chris, he never interfered in the way of her studies.

Christopher Ace also known as Chris, is your school's bad boy. He is HOT and no doubt gorgeous and will most probably get you knocked out by his smartness, Quite a gentleman and has his ways with the ladies. All In One, He is everything every girl would want to date or spend a minute with .

That might change when he meets Lena.

What will happen when Lena starts dating the one and only CHRISTOPHER ACE that will get you drooling by just hearing his name? Will Lena face her problems or will she be too scared to get heartbroken again and Leave everything behind?

This story is like no other!

Follow Lena and Chris on their trip full of betrayals and heartbreaks.

+ Cover

The cover is not bad though you should use another font for writing the book title. Other than it, the cover is perfect.

Rating: 8/10

+ Trailer

Well, to be honest, it didn't attract me. It is very obviously made by compiling pictures together. While I don't mind a slideshow, for Wattpad stories it is always better to have actual videos. The only one I could see was of her talking.

It is supposed to be short and tempt the readers into reading the story so I felt you gave a bit too much information. Maybe you could request a trailer from somebody?

Rating: 5/10

+ Title

Cliché. I just put up the name in the search bar and hundreds of results popped up. So yeah, it is kind of unoriginal. It would be awesome if you could change the title into something more eye-catching.

Rating: 6/10

+ Summary

Not bad yet nothing spectacular. Does it's job of letting the readers know what to expect.

The starting line is attractive. But do not put his name out in capitals but keep it short and nice. Maybe something like:

Lena is a typical highschool girl. Homework, books, friends, bullies and crushes are all part of a life. A Nerd by definition, even her crush on Christopher doesn't distract her from what is important in life; her friends and studies.

But what happens when a crush stops being just a crush and she ends up dating Mr. Gorgeous himself? Will she lose sight of everything that is truly important to her or will she be ready to forgo her heart to save herself from heartbreak?

Maybe you could also add in a small excerpt to let the readers know how the story would be.

Rating: 7/10

+ Plot

Cliché. Very, very cliché. I hope you are going to give it your own twist or at least make it a fun read even though it is cliché.

Rating: 6/10

+ Characters:

Lena: Well, I have to be honest. She irritates me. Why? Because she thinks she isnt beautiful or pretty while you clearly state she is. Modesty is a great trait but it isn't attractive in the long run. Maybe she is normal but Chris finds her pretty? That would make a lot more sense.

Chris: He isn't a bad boy. Sorry honey but he just isn't. He may be a player, though I have yet to see any proof of it other than him going out with Evie. In short, he seems like a normal boy with great looks and good brain. So if you do want to make him a 'bad boy' he can be smart without attending classes (i.e, skipping classes to do something classified as 'bad', hooking up with girls) There is no problem with him being against bullies but the others should be improved.

The others are a bit too much of two dimensional characters so I would suggest you improve on their personalities.

Rating: 6/10

+ Chapters

Lenght: I see no problems with that.

Grammar, etc: There are a lot of mistakes. Not grammatical but the sentence structure and capital letters. Most of the I's aren't capital and you missed capitalising their names frequently. For someone like me, that is a huge turn off.

General:

The change in P.O.V is a bit unsettling. You should stick with one P.O.V in one chapter unless you have to show it from another P.O.V. As far as I could see there is no need for changing it so many times.

In the first chapter, you could have continued into Lena's P.O.V instead of shifting to Third P.O.V. for eg:

I felt jealous of the ease with which Talia managed to talk with Nathan while I was stuck staring at the floor instead of looking at the boy I liked. A glance from the corner of my eyes told him that he too was avoiding looking at them or me.

His eyes caught mine and I quickly averted my gaze back to the floor. There was nothing remotely interesting about it but it was better than getting sucked up in the brown/blue pools of his eyes and making a fool of myself.

The little details you put in make it sound a whole lot better than just putting in dialouges.

If you want Chris to really be a bad boy then you have to make him act like one. So far he is against bullying, doesn't slip classes and studied deliegently. Not the signs of a bad boy.

You could make him smart without having him attend classes. Just enough to meet the attendance requirement and then he can spend the rest of the days doing all 'bad' thing. Like smoking, hooking up with girls, driving motorcycles, etc.

Oh, and the story will be a whole lot better if you showed things from the view point of Lena only. So that the reader would wonder what exactly is going through his mind when he says yes to Evie for the date and other instances. Showing both their views reduces the curiosity of the readers.

And Lena is kind of a bi*** if she asked Patrick out only to make Chris jealous. What if he actually really like her? Did she think about that? And Chris seems less and less like a bad boy as the chapters keep going. Thats one of the reason I suggested that you don't show things from his point of view. And reduce the blushing.

The scene will Talia ignoring Lena is a bit too dramatic. It's been just a day or so? And seriously, how could she trust Evie so easily? The argument between them didn't make much sense since there was nothing leading up to it. It was just out of the blue. Just because Talia was hanging out with her boyfriend doesn't mean she is ignoring Lena.

I stared at my phone. 6:30. I could imagine Evie and Chris out together in some fancy restaurant, holding hand over the table while they stared into each other's eyes. They may even be leaning in for a kiss and- I shook my head.

I was letting my imagination run wild.

But then, considering his reputation maybe my imagination wasn't too far off mark.

I decided that I needed someone to talk some sense into me before I drive myself crazy with all the thoughts.

Of course, there was only one person who came to my mind.

Talia. I quickly dialed her and frowned when it rang for quite some time. Just as I was about to put it down, she picked up and her breathless voice greeted me.

"What took you so long?" I asked.

"Uh, well I was kind of busy." She laughed and I could hear an undertone of tension in her voice.

"Doing what?"

I am getting carried away. Anyways, you can make it such that she went out on a date without even telling Lena about it. Next day Lena finds out and feels hurts. Build this up in such a way that Talia continues to ditch Lena and she at last gets tired of it all.

Do not show Nathan's P.O.V. That way people can wonder why he did what he did after Talia's fight with Lena.

+ Conclusion

This story may be a cliché one but that doesn't mean it lacks potential. With proper editing and a much clear story line, it would be worth it.

+ Overall Rating

5.5/10