I'm not sorry. I will never apologize.

You see the yellow creature across the room reading (your favourite book)
"Wow, me and that minion have similar tastes." You say to yourself.
You decide to head over because the minion is hella cute.
"Hello minion." You say to it.
He looks up in surprise and makes his little noises.
"Can I buy you a drink?" You ask.
The minion nods.
And so, you buy him a drink and then as the night goes on you get to talking until eventually he stands up.
"What's that? You want to dance with me?" You translate because your years at minion university have given you the ability to speak their language.
The minion nods.
So you both get up and dance and you realize he has a great twerking ability which is your number one trait in an ideal man. You ask him out on a dinner date and he says yes.

A few days later after the dinner date you have hot steamy sex which I will not go into detail with because holy crap as if I didn't need jeezuz already. (By fall out boy)