You know, I try to have spirit and be happy and everything....but it always feels like I'm being ignored...like I'm not being loud enough. Nobody cares.
Do they realize they're doing it? Do they realize it's breaking my heart every time the conversation turns away from something I brought up? Should I really feel this way? Am I being self centred? Or has years of never getting my voice heard given me justification to want attention...just once...? Does anybody even pay me a passing thought? Because part of me knows that they don't. Would it help if I was better at dealing with people? With helping them with stuff? Do I have to louder to be heard? Or am I too loud? I can't answer any of these questions. Because if I could, I would have already. I don't know what to say anymore. Maybe I should stop getting excited over little things and brushing off the bigger ones...maybe I should just stop trying to get people to know me. Maybe I should just sit back and let them leave me behind.