Maybe I'm in the black
Maybe I'm on my knees
Maybe I'm in the gap
Between the two trapezes

My mum would kiss me, soothing my pain. She would make some tea and we would talk about some book, criticizing the author's choices until I would finally fall asleep again.

The carousel dream was so pretty and emotional, but it always left me at the edge of a cliff. It was as if I always knew that something bad would happen after that one part. My body felt it. My mind knew it.

Happy endings were not my thing. I always knew that.

Eventually, I would fall asleep again. And darkness would take me to the land of my dreams—far, far from reality.

The air was warm up above the sky.
Laughter was the soundtrack, happiness the theme, paradise the setting.

Stars twinkled, celebrating, cheering for us, encouraging us to fly away to undiscovered worlds—free from mirrors, carousels, and chains.

Horses flew by me, leaving a trail of sparky star dust behind them. 

I looked behind me and I could see my hair waving in the air with streaks of gold, and pink stardust glistening in long lines, mimicking my undecisive hair.

And I knew I was off to create my own world. I didn't feel dizzy anymore. My chest felt spacious. I felt—empowered.

Just like every other time I had had this dream, it was exactly the same. Except that this time, the ending was different.

Fluttering my wings in the sky, I would gather inner energy to sprint away to freedom.

Excitement sparked in every cell in my body until my whole body came to a sudden halt, my heart paralyzing, my senses all awakened in fear.

A screeching, agonic scream would erupt from down below the earth, stopping all of my actions. It was so loud, so painful, that it would pierce my soul, calling me.

I flew down to get a better view.

A pitch black horse, statue-like but not quiet, remained stuck on a lonely carousel. It was hurt, bleeding, and unable to move by itself.

I ventured closer to help him but the

other horses called me from galaxies unknown. One particular copper brown fur horse gestured for me to return.

And I wanted to go with him with all my heart but I couldn't ignore the pain of this other horse.

The dusty clouds evaporated under my trace as I galloped over them. The skies got darker, the laughter lost in the clouds above.

An eerie silence floated on the desolated surface of the planet.

Yes. Now, the silence was the soundtrack, tragedy was the theme, and hell was the setting.

"Sunset!" someone from up above called. It was the copper brown horse.

Heavy, dark clouds were closing down on him like a giant steel door below the blue sky, announcing the end of it all.

I saw the fear in the horse that called me from above, knowing that I wouldn't make it back to him.  But then I saw the sheer anguish in the black horse below and I was stuck.

Stuck between heaven and hell. I was in the gap between two worlds and I wished I could have been smarter but as I said...happy endings were not my thing.

Nuzzling my head against the neck of the tormented horse, I let my legs kneel next to him.

"You're not alone," I told him.

His dark eyes got lighter as he exhaled and thick darkness swallowed us whole.

And I would never wake up.

Author's Note

I'm gonna prove Sunset wrong.