·Lying underneath those stormy skies(...)She dreams of para-para paradise·

Carousels always made me dizzy. We are told it's a child's game, but that's bullshit.

It's all a trap.

Consider the mirrors.

That's fucked up.

Why would they put weirdly-shaped mirrors meaninglessly repeating the figures around you? It's all just for the sake of driving you crazy.

Back in Thunder Bay when Raiden and I were just teens, we would sneak out to this creepy amusement park.

He would always end up making out with someone behind some colorful game while I would end up sitting on this bench watching the carousel spin over, and over, and over again.

And there was this horse. It was pearly white, majestic. Her front leg was pent up, like a princess about to step on the stairs of her palace-only there was no such thing.

She had wavy streaks of golden, silver, and pink hair swirling down the side of her dormant, statue-like head. It was beautiful. Diamond-shaped little mirrors dotted around her collar. I couldn't wait for the carousel to stop spinning to just stare at it.

It was breathtaking.

But it was stuck.

Stuck with a pole impaled through her core. Frozen in time and place, forced to move without moving, spin, without actually spinning, dancing up and down in meaningless motion. Just playing her role over and over again.

And the mirrors were just an evil way of perpetuating this poor horse's existence. It's like whoever created this carousel was mocking her by reflecting her suffering.

Dizziness took hold of me as I watched the lightbulbs dancing, distorting and becoming blurred lines in my vision.

And I would wait until all the music was gone, the voices would just die, and the lights would be dim. I would wait to see if for some magical reason the horse would come to life to finally break free and fly to the sky.

I waited.

And I waited.

And it never happened.

Only Raiden would happen. He would appear out of nowhere, yelling at me questions and remarks that sounded miles away.

"Where were you? Are you insane? I was worried. I was looking for you. Mum and dad will get mad at me because of you. Why can't you do things easy for once in your life? You always do the same to me! Com'on now. Let's go! Sunset! Sunset, do you hear me?"

The questions echoed in the distance. His remarks rang somewhere in my skull. But my eyes were still locked in the carousel.

He ended up dragging me away and the horses were frozen until I lost sight of them.

Back at home, my dreams were plagued with impaled horses trying to escape from their prisons. Bleeding. Fighting. Stubbornly struggling with the sticks and frames that kept them attached to the ground.

There was something about the weather in my dream, or maybe the atmosphere, or even maybe some kind of eclipse that was darkening the skies-or even making them brighter. I couldn't put my finger on it. But I knew that something had happened and I couldn't describe it as anything but...change.

It was flying in the swirl of dust and leaves passing by my side, sparking goosebumps on my spine.

I could feel it happening in every cell of my body.

And that's when I would hear the breaking of something enourmous.

I would look up, and I could see how that horse that I saw in the amusement park would spring her wings open-wings that I didn't know she had. The mirrors would shatter as an aftermath of her actions, and all the other horses would mirror her actions.

She would bat her shiny white wings, her front legs hovering up in the air, and for the span of a second her eyes would lock with mine. Right then, she would leap forward, flying over the sky, free and wild with enormous white wings soaring over the sky.

All the others followed her, and so did I. I was soaring in the sky with them.

And there was no music other than laughter, the fluttering of wings, and the wind passing by my side.

I could still hear chains breaking down, and when I looked to the earth, thousand of other horses were joining our flight-breaking free from prisons all over the world.

Stars twinkled, celebrating, cheering for us, encouraging us to fly away to undiscovered worlds-free from mirrors, carousels, and chains.

Horses flew by me, leaving a trail of sparky star dust behind them.

I looked behind me and I could see my hair waving in the air with streaks of gold, and pink stardust glistening in long lines, mimicking my undecisive hair.

And I knew I was off to create my own world. I didn't feel dizzy anymore. My chest felt spacious. I felt-empowered.

There was no dizziness, no merry-go-around, no broken records, no mirrors-no words. There was only freedom.

And I woke up.

I was shaking, sobbing, trembling, tears streaming down my face. Mum shoved the door opened in the middle of the night. She hugged me, pressing my head against her chest. She stroke my blonde hair against her chest as she soothed my crying.

"It was just a dream, just a dream," she whispered.

"No, mum." I sobbed. "It was much more than that."

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Please, love me.

Thank you for being here today!