Afrid Short story (2)
Here.afrid2002
I forgot the spelling of suspicion....suspiction....ugh....whatever.
You know,........please change the part about the monsters. The rest of it also has it so I didn't bother. Change it. It's too childish. No offence. I'll re-do the editing after you changed it.
Points to be noted:
• The chapter is not clear about many things.
• It completely went downhill after the initial few paragraphs. The first chapter was 7 times better than this.
•You will have to change the second half of this chapter. Regarding the 'monsters'......it's better if you wrote something like this:
" The people of Steezia exist to fend off creatures known as Qhorlex......" (some thing along these lines) And then proceed with an explanation about them and a short explanation about the place they are in and what those two boys actually do.
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