I've never been a big believer in telekinesis but standing there, staring at the disturbing image on Katherine's computer screen, all I wanted to do was make it disappear with my mind. Even if that meant blowing up Katherine's computer like that guy's head in the movie Scanners, I was okay with that. But with each passing second, it was becoming more evident that Jedi mind tricks would not be the solution to this particular problem.

And then, a thought struck me that sent shivers through my body. "The video! Did Tommy see it?"

"No. As far as I can tell you only sent it to the book club group. I don't know if they've seen it," Katherine says.

At that moment, Patrick and Holly appear in Katherine's doorway and start doing their imitations of drunk me.

"Spillage! Major spillage!" Patrick slurs.

Holly jumps in right after him. "I'll get that," she says as she pantomimes licking the booze up off the floor. Mercifully, as fast as they appeared, they are gone again cackling down the hall.

"They may have seen it," Katherine says.

My mind is spinning. I've never been in any situation like this before. I remember friends in university who loved the morning after crazy nights, but this doesn't feel fun for me. "Oh, God. What do I do?"

I'm pretty sure the question was meant to be rhetoric but Katherine would never miss a chance put someone on their place.

"Maybe you could just do your job," she says matter-of-factly. "I need the agenda for today's meeting finalized and emailed out to Tommy."

Yes! I'll throw myself into work. That's always been my safe place when I want to protect myself against the world. As soon as I sit down behind Katherine's desk and focus on the task at hand, I can feel my body and soul begin to uncoil. After a few minutes, I actually began to feel my confidence slowly come back. "I want you to know, I really am going to be great at this job."

"Despite all evidence to the contrary," Katherine mutters loudly under her breath. "I'm curious, new girl, why a paralegal?"

That's a fair question and I knew I would have to explain it eventually, so I dove right in.

"I am what you could call a bit of a throwback. I like to consider myself an Underwood typewriter in a world of iPads and smartphones. I grew up loving books more than anything else. It's not that I didn't have real friends, it's just that I never felt I shared their interests. When all the other girls my age were texting and emailing cute boys to meet them at the mall, I was immersed in the world of classic literature. I kind of made the great literary figures my best friends."

"Wow, that's really..." Katherine searches for the right ending to that sentence.

"Awesome?" I offer.

"Sad."

"So anyway... after my undergrad, I eventually earned a Ph.D. in literary theory."

'So why aren't you teaching Intro to Victorian Literature right now?"

"That's a question I've been wrestling with for the last few years. I wanted to, there's nothing I wanted more but I couldn't do it."

"Queen of the book nerds couldn't teach English Lit?"

I'm going to choose to take 'Queen of the book nerds' as a compliment, even though I'm not convinced that's the manner in which it was intended. "It was my social anxiety that kept getting in the way. I couldn't speak in front of a crowd of people. I kept freezing up."

Katherine starts laughing out loud but catches herself when she sees the look on my face. "I'm sorry but you have a doctorate in literature and can't do the only job that goes with that?"

"I'm trying to focus on the task at hand and your observations aren't helping." With that, I strike a final key on her keyboard and sit back with a feeling of job-well-done. "The email is off to the client."

"Did you remember to include the attachment?" Katherine asks.

"What kind of amateur do you think you're dealing with? Of course I di- Oh no. No. No. No." I can feel my eyes grow wide as I look at the screen in horror.

"You forgot?"

"I wish I forgot. I diiiiiiid send an attachment.

It takes Katherine a few seconds to clue into what happened. "No!"

All I can do is nod while burying my face in my hands. "I sent Tommy the video."

I don't remember leaping up from behind the desk, I barely remember shoving Katherine out of my way as I tear out of her office, although I'm sure she will recount it in full detail later. My first fully conscious memory after realizing I mistakenly sent that awful video to Tommy is sprinting full-speed down the office hallways. and slamming into Holly who is rounding the corner. "Have you seen Tommy? Is he here?" I spit out between gasps.

"He's down the hall. What's the panic?"

I immediately start running in the opposite direction. "I need to get his phone from him or we're all dead."

"Newbies!" I hear her say behind me.

I finally find the room where Tommy is seated and I'm instantly overcome with anxiety on numerous fronts. I don't have time to be crippled with anxiety so I paste on my best smile and sit down across from him.

"Hi. I guess we should talk about...you know...last night."

"Oh boy. Last night is,... I can't even talk about... it's fuzzy, so very fuzzy."

He doesn't want to talk about it! Thank God! Now that damn phone... "So did you hear there's a virus that's targeting phones that have connected to our network."

"I hadn't heard."

"Can I take a look at your phone and make sure it's not infected?"

Thankfully, Tommy doesn't ask any further questions and just reaches in his pocket to dig out his phone.

"Cell phones, huh. How did we ever live life without them?" Tommy asks as he digs around his pocket.

"So, what was the first cell phone you ever owned?" I ask without ever really listening to his answer. Instead, I frantically open his email and am overcome with relief when I see that he hasn't yet opened my email. I delete it from his inbox and take the further step to make sure it is deleted from the server. With that, I feel like I can breathe for the first time in ages.

I know I was simply cleaning up my stupid mistake but the sense of accomplishment had me strutting into the boardroom, excited to share the news with Katherine. Upon entering the boardroom, I find Katherine meeting with the representatives from the class action suit.

From the filing, it doesn't take me long to figure out who's who. There is the bingo guy who flipped his desk, the jogging nymph, and the birthday clown who, for some reason, is in full costume.

Sydney, Tommy and Playa The Mascot are seated on the other side of the table. I notice that bottles of Playa are placed in front of everyone seated around the table.

"I wanted to thank everyone for coming in to begin these settlement discussions," Katherine says. "As you can see, we've provided bottles of Playa for everyone because we are one hundred percent confident they in no way caused the incidents."

The birthday clown honks his horn in protest. I use the moment of distraction to sidle up to Katherine. "I deleted the email," I whisper as I take a seat beside her.

Sydney and Tommy enthusiastically begin drinking their bottles of Playa. I look down at the bottle in front of me but I'm more than a little reluctant to drink it. Can you blame me? After what Playa did to me last night, the last thing I wanted to do was drink it.

But as soon as I make eye contact with Sydney, it becomes clear not drinking it is not an option. Bottom's up I say to myself as I start drinking the Playa.

"Katherine, can you give us an update on the class action suit?" Sydney says in her politest professional tone.

"Certainly. We believe that when you look at the facts of..."

Oh crapballs! Somehow, appearing on the smartboard directly opposite Katherine is the video of me at Tommy's place from the night before. The only stroke of luck is that it's playing without sound. And because everyone seated around the boardroom table is looking in Katherine's direction, they don't notice. Katherine's eyes go wide with panic and I jump up to figure out where it's coming from.

I see that Playa the Mascot has his cell phone connected to the video projector. I rush over and try to seize control of the projector but this fuzzy bastard won't let me. What happens next can only be described as a full out wrestling match between Playa and I. We bump into the wall, making a sound loud enough for the others to hear. Bingo Guy starts to turn his head to the back of the room, but Katherine leaps towards him and starts touching his shirt.

"Is this a genuine cotton/poly blend. Wow. That's very cool. Everyone, take a look at this."

Finally, the mascot throws me aside and finds the button that plays sound. Everyone now turns to the back of the room where I have thrown myself in front of the wall in a futile attempt to block the projection. Instead, the video is playing on my white top.

"Carry on. Nothing to see here," I croak.

But it's to no avail. Everyone sees me licking the wine off the floor and then wringing it into the glass and drinking it. They wince. Then they hear my voice on the video. "That Playa really does make you do crazy shit."

There are audible gasps from the people in the room.

"I thought you deleted the email?!?" she hisses at me.

"I did!" I point directly at Playa. "It was him."

"If you deleted your copy, how did he have a copy of the video?"

At that moment, it all came back to me. I'm right back in Tommy's place and Tommy and I are kissing passionately on his bed. Suddenly, a fuzzy green felt hand reaches over and starts caressing me. The mascot tried to get more involved in the action, but I consistently rebuffed him. Playa moves in from a different angle and this time Tommy pushes him away. Rejected and dejected, Playa slinked off with his head down. He turned back to give us the universal gesture for "up yours" before he leaves.

After I recount the story, the room sits in silence as everyone tries to process what just took place.

"Wow. He really does bring that mascot everywhere," Katherine observes.

The three reps from the other side of the table all stand up. "Thank you for making our case for us. We'll see you in court," the jogging nymph states defiantly.

A furious Sydney throws her now empty Playa bottle against the wall, narrowly missing Katherine and me. "Just so I'm clear, we lost this case and face a certain malpractice suit because your legal assistant wouldn't have a three-way with the client's horny mascot."

"A story as old as time," Katherine says.

Sydney is still unable to wrap her mind around what just happened. "A mascot?!?! A MASCOT!!!" Sydney chases the Playa mascot out of the room. I should follow them out and se where this bizarre turn of events will go next but I don't. Instead, I feel compelled to take a closer look at her bottle of Playa.

Out in the main office area, Patrick is standing at the water cooler with his nose buried in a book. He is oblivious to Holly who approaches and looks at him quizzically. "Are you at the part where Bella has to choose between Edward and Jacob?"

"It's Jekyll and Hyde, Patrick says. "It's pretty bad-ass actually."

"Seriously?"

"Sure. Take this part right here - he beats the crap out of this Danvers Carew guy with a cane."

As Patrick starts reading the passage from the book, behind them, the mascot comes charging around the corner with Sydney in hot pursuit brandishing her field hockey stick. All of this without Patrick and Holly noticing.

"And then all of a sudden he broke out into a great flame of anger, stamping with his foot, brandishing his cane and carrying on like a madman."

It's not long before Sydney catches the mascot, knocks him to the ground and starts wailing on him.

"And at that, Mr. Hyde broke out of all bounds and clubbed him to the earth. And next moment, with ape-like fury, he was trampling his victim under foot and hailing down a storm of blows..."

With the empty Playa bottle in hand, I wander out to the main office area which seems to be the source of the commotion. Sidney continues to take full out whacks at the mascot with her field hockey stick. The mascot's costume prevents him from being seriously hurt although it's not for a lack of trying on Sydney's part. I kept looking at the empty Playa bottle, and then back at an animal-like Sydney clubbing the mascot. That's when it all came together for me. "We should get everyone back in the boardroom now," I tell Katherine.

"Why would we do that?" Katherine scoffs.

"Because we just won our case."

Before I knew it, I'm standing at the front of the boardroom while everyone stares back at me with a mix of anticipation and skepticism. I knew this had to be done but it was like hell for me. As I look at the faces in the room, they morph into a crowded university classroom. I can feel myself freezing up again.

"I..uh...um..."

After a prolonged period where I say nothing of substance, everyone starts to stand up and gather their files. There is about to be a mass exodus.

Katherine locks eyes with me and does her best to help. "Just say it!"

The pressure is mounting. Finally, I yell out, "TIGER PENIS!"

Everyone stops. They sit back down. And I feel a calmness wash over me. "Everything about this case brought me back to Jekyll and Hyde. In the book, Jekyll can no longer replicate the potion that turns him into Mr. Hyde. He can't get the same ingredients. And without the exact same formula, he doesn't have his potion.

"What's the relevance here?" Sydney asks.

"Last night I had a reaction to drinking Playa, but I didn't have a similar reaction today. The bottle I drank today had zero effect on me. How can that be? Just as in the book, there had to be an inconsistency with the formula."

I pass around the bottle that Sydney threw against the wall. "This bottle is the same as what I drank last night, but is different from what I drank today."

It reaches Tommy who looks it over carefully. "Does that say tiger penis?" he asks aloud. Then he turns to Sydney. "This one isn't ours."

"It's a bootleg. It would appear someone has been bootlegging playa and wholesaling them to gas stations and convenience stores in a six block radius in the west-end. Sydney drank one of the bootlegs just before she had the...let's call it the unfortunate mascot incident. It is this counterfeit formula that causes the aggressive behaviour. Bottom line - it's not our client's product and therefore his company can't be held liable."

All eyes turn to Sydney who processes this and then subtly nods her head confirming this conclusion. "As you can see, Tommy, I've led my team to another victory. That's why my firm is the best."

Katherine and I lock eyes just long enough to share a knowing look.

Not long after the office chaos settled, I was finally able to head home for the day. My mind was on a long bath and maybe, just maybe, I'd allow myself a glass of wine. Just as I was selecting a nice wine in my head and almost out the building foyer door, a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Book nerd!" Katherine calls out. I turn around to see her approaching. "You really pulled it out of the fire back there. Nicely done!"

"Thanks."

"Did you really put all that together because you read Jekyll and Hyde?"

"I saw the familiar patterns between the case and the book and it led me to the solution."

"Think you can do it again?"

"I don't know. Probably."

If you're lucky, out of the ashes of your most horrifying moment, a truly life-changing event will arise like a Phoenix. For me, that singular event is encapsulated in the next four words that come out of Katherine's mouth.

"Welcome to Book Club!"

I am speechless with joy. I just stand there basking in this amazing victory. Katherine starts to walk away but then stops suddenly and turns to back to me.

"That fake Playa drink. That stuff really messes you up that much?"

"You have no idea."

I guess not everyone is lucky enough to have their most horrifying moment be the best thing that ever happened to them. Because, if you're unlucky...

Sydney is walking down the hallway toward her office. As she nears her office she bumps into Playa and the two stare at each other for a few seconds without moving.

...something will arise...

Suddenly Sydney leaps into the Playa mascot's arms and wraps her legs around his body and she kisses him as passionately as one can with a mascot head.

...that is simply – horrifying!