Having never set another human being on fire before, I'm at a loss for what protocol dictates at this precise moment. I know the odds may be extremely slim but what I'd really love is if no one actually noticed what I just did. However, as I look up and see the combination shellshock/death glare coming from Katherine right now, I'm not holding out much hope.

"That girl is on fire!" Katherine spits out. "And in case you think I mean that in the cool Alicia Keys way, I don't. I mean you actually set that girl on fire."

"I should go," I say as I slowly slink backward.

In a flash, Katherine reaches out and grabs me by the shoulder. "Don't even think about it. Somebody has to go over and make it up to him."

"Something tells me I'd be barking up the wrong tree," Patrick offers.

Holly scoffs. "Yeah, like you would know!"

"Well, why don't you go over and take care of business?" Patrick counters.

"I would but I'm about to get hit on by a cute guy." Holly points out a guy across the room who, from what I can tell, is showing zero interest in our direction.

"You mean the obvious closet case who hasn't looked over here all night?" Patrick asks.

"Just wait."

Sure enough, just moments later, the waiter brings Holly a glass of champagne compliments of the guy. Holly raises the glass in victory.

"Damnit!" Patrick utters.

Katherine is showing no sign she's in the mood for these fun and games. "Can we get back to the issue at hand? Callie, you made this mess, now you're going to fix it."

"How?"

"You're going to go over to him and make sure he's very happy."

I was a little uneasy with what she meant 'very happy.' Although there was no denying I had to try to make things right. "When you say ve-"

"Very happy," she reiterates.

"The thing is, I've never been very good at talking to men in bars."

"You wanted to be part of book club? This is Book Club. Now fix this!"

I am really not comfortable with what is about to happen. And I know people say it's good to get out of your comfort zone but I'm pretty sure they mean a little bit out of your comfort zone. Right now, it feels like I'd need two space shuttles and a teleporter to get back to my comfort zone.

As I make my way through the bar patrons, I can see Tommy sitting on a coach against the far wall. When I finally get his attention, I motion to the empty spot on the couch beside him. He waves for me to take a seat

"I'm really sorry about earlier," I say.

"Don't even mention it!" he replies to my amazement. Maybe this won't be as painful as I feared. "Look, I don't have all night, are we going to do this or not?"

"Excuse me?" I blurt out. I was not expecting that!

"I like you, you like me, lets consummate this already." Well, this was definitely easier than I expected but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, this is what I was sent over here to do but still, it's really fast. I have to tell him something. "It's all happe-" Before I can finish my sentence, Tommy jumps in again.

"Drop by the office and we'll sign the papers."

Tommy reaches up and takes out his Bluetooth earpiece and it all finally clicks in for me. My heart sinks and a wave of humiliation washes over me. Wow, this was way worse than I imagined. Still, I think I can save the situation by sharing a laugh with him. "You won't believe what I just did. I thought..."

Once again, I am unable to get to the end of my sentence. Tommy gets up and greets some friends, never acknowledging me at all. This is beyond bizarre. I feel like I need to share this with someone before I lose my mind. I turn to the young business-looking guy sitting on my other side. "Have you ever had one of those experiences where you just want to crawl into a hole and die?"

This guy doesn't acknowledge me either but instead, waves his friends over to join him on the couch. Three guys rush over and jam themselves in the couch and continue on with their conversation. I'm stuck in the middle, but nobody is acknowledging my presence.

"Because if you haven't, it looks exactly like THIS!" I shout before getting up and leaving.

When I arrive back at the table I just drop my head in my hands. I don't think I can even look the others in the eye right now. I'm sure I've been more humiliated in my life but, gun to my head, I'm not sure I could say when.

"I couldn't even get him to notice me. What's wrong with me?"

"You're too sweet," Patrick says as he places a comforting hand on my arm. "You're the kind of woman men cheat on with women like Holly."

"Awwww, thank you," Holly and I say in unison.

At this point, Holly looks me up and down and comes to a conclusion. "She needs a makeover."

"Patrick, maybe you should be the one to give her a quickie makeover," Katherine says

"Why, because I'm the gay BFF??? You want someone to queer-eye her? Forget it."

"Because you're a guy and you know what turns guys off."

Patrick sighs and gives a little acquiescing wave.

A makeover. That doesn't sound so bad. It might be pretty, actually. A new look might give me a new sense of confidence. So, you can imagine my surprise, disappointment, and apprehension when Patrick returns from the bar and starts lining up a row of shooters in front of me

"You want a makeover? Here, drink these. They're Playa Haters – equal parts tequila and Playa Energy drink"

"And why do I have to drink them?"

"Because sober Callie is giving off the wrong vibe. We need to get you to the point where you're no longer hindered by your inhibitions."

"Is that stuff even safe?" I grab the bottle of Playa to examine the ingredients. "Wait, does that say "tiger penis"?

Patrick completely ignores me and puts the first drink in my hand. "Bottom's up!"

"Ten to one says by the end of the night, that won't just be a figure a speech," Holly says.

One by one I start throwing back the Playa Haters. At first, I feel nothing but after a few minutes...

"Oh my! I feel...different."

My reaction was more than just the alcohol taking effect. I've felt that before, but this was something else. It was like a transformation had begun inside of me.

"This must be exactly what Dr. Jekyll felt like when he first drank the potion and turned into Hyde.

"Who?" Holly asks.

"Mr. Hyde! From the book."

I close my eyes and the passage just starts flowing out of me.

"The most racking pangs succeeded: a grinding in the bones, deadly nausea, and a horror of the spirit that cannot be exceeded at the hour of birth or death. Then these agonies began swiftly to subside, and I came to myself as if out of a great sickness. There was something strange in my sensations, something indescribably new and, from its very novelty, incredibly sweet.

Holly leans into Katherine. "What is she doing?"

"I think she's going full book nerd," Katherine says.

With every passing minute, it was like Robert Louis Stephenson wrote those words just for me. I spied Tommy again but this time in a whole new light. I was no longer the terrified baby gazelle. Whatever was happening to me made me feel like the lioness stalking the baby gazelle. When Tommy and I make eye contact, I give him a wry smile and the come-hither finger to join me on the dance floor. He is only too happy to comply.

And then We began to dance. It wasn't a case of dancing like no one's watching. I wanted people to watch. I was loving it and I could tell Tommy was too.

I felt younger, lighter, happier in body; within I was conscious of a heady recklessness, a current of disordered sensual images running like a millrace in my fancy, a solution of the bonds of obligation, an unknown but not an innocent freedom of the soul.

Something had taken a hold of me on the dance floor. I have never danced like this at any point in my life but right now, nothing felt more natural. Our bodies were drawn to each other and we moved in unison.

I knew myself, at the first breath of this new life, to be more wicked, tenfold more wicked, sold a slave to my original evil; and the thought, in that moment, braced and delighted me like wine. I stretched out my hands, exulting in the freshness of these sensation..."

After twenty minutes of this sensual ballet, Tommy and I both knew it was time to get out of there. I popped over to the table to grab my purse. I give Katherine a little wink. "Don't wait up."

"Are you seriously doing this?" she asks me.

"It's what you wanted isn't it?"

"Wow, that Mr. Hyde was a real party queen," Holly says

"I am so reading that book!" Patrick says. I wave goodbye, take Tommy by the hand and head out the door.

***

The next morning, I arrive at the building for work and pause for a moment. I've seen the building's exterior hundreds of times but this morning, it's like I'm seeing it for the first time. It is a sleek and shiny glass tower, a monument to corporate avarice and excess. And today, walking inside feels like a more arduous chore than most days.

I have mixed feelings about what happened last night. I mean, it was fun and, truth be told, it's been awhile since I've experienced that kind of grown-up fun. And I'm glad that Tommy is still on board with the firm. It's just...that was so out of character for me.

I'm just going to slip into the office without anyone noticing me and do my work.

"New girl, get in here," I hear Katherine beckon behind me. The best laid plans... I guess she wants to congratulate me on a job well done.

"What's wrong with you??? You know we're meeting with the other side on the Playa case today, right?"

Wait, what? Why is she freaking out me??? "Don't worry about it. I fixed it."

"Did you though?"

"Trust me, there was a lot of fixing going on last night."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Katherine hits a key on her laptop that brings up a video of me from the night before. Remember when I told you to picture a woman lying on a hardwood floor, dressed only in her underwear, barely able to hold a half-full glass of red wine upright. Well, that's me in the video from last night.

"Hey, Katherine. Look, I'm fixing this. Callie the fixer, that's me." I spill my wine on the floor, but it doesn't bother me one bit. "Spillage. Major spillage. Not to worry, I'm all over it."

I lean down and start licking the wine off the floor. Unable to get it all, I remove my top and use it to mop up the red wine. I then proceed to suck the wine out of my top before tossing it aside.

I'm watching this through my fingers as my hands cover my face in humiliation.

Your parents must be very proud. I'm praying this the end. It's not.

"Hey camera phone, can I tell you a secret? I've never done anything like this before. I mean never, not even close. Callie Hyde licks up more wine off the floor and then looks directly into the camera. "That Playa really does make you do crazy shit."

The camera suddenly cuts out and I let out a little shriek. "Oh, it just got worse!"

"Much!" Katherine says.