Title: The Ripple Effect

Author: Carikavanlog

Genre: Fantasy

Summary:

Shooting stars don't grant wishes. But instead they blow the tiny wish out of proportion.

Esmé Hale, like any other naïve child, pleaded to shooting stars. Though her wish wasn't for dolls or dresses, but for an adventure.

Little did she know that the adventure she would be granted would stretch over a lifetime.

Loyalties will be discarded and used as kindling. Some lives will be renewed and some destroyed. Love and friendship will be compared to laws and the dead will bend every one of them.

All because of one small wish.

Reviewer: Rosemerrypuff1609

Review:

I loved the plot, it's really good.

It has the 'Lord of the Rings' feel to it, minus the mystical creature's part of course. But as much as the plot it good, it could be improved. Most of the scenes are moving fast and have an abrupt skip; this is a major setback in the plot line. The plot could be extended a bit and the scenes could be made more continuous. Also the feelings and appearances of characters could be expressed a little better. But I think once the plot and scenes are adjusted, this won't be a big issue.

And a little prologue would be nice; because you see a prologue is like minor intro of the story to the readers, so the readers will know what to expect in the story. It could be anything, a small introduction of characters or small passage line or a few words from the protagonist or anything, even an extended version of the summary. A small prologue of about 200-400 words would be good.

Grammatically, the story is 90% perfect, just very minute adjustments are needed.

It's nice to see that the author has used British English, which is quite rare these days, and has also made sure it's not difficult to understand the script. But since the story is setback at older centuries and has fantasy involved in it, I would advise the author to make it a little less complicated with the names of the characters and places mentioned. Giving the readers a little help with the pronunciation - for tough names - would also be advised.

I have seen the author has given a map for the places in the story which is quite cool. But the places need to be highlighted a little. And also the pictures and media given are good but it would be nice if the picture posted, has a mention in the chapter. I mean a little description of what it means, in separate bold italics.

For example: 'The above picture represents the port where the boat crashes', like that.

Coming to the summary, yes it's good, but a little too simple. It would nice if it ends with a question, like, 'How does a small wish change a lifetime?' or something along that lines. It will help with increasing the reader's curiousness about the story.

The title/Name of the story is good, but a little subtitle would be nice. You see, the reader might get confused at the start of the story, as to why this name is given, so I would say you give a small subtitle.

The cover for the story is just okay, it's cool but not suitable with the title. Go for a little Mysterious cover which has ancient figures or castles and stuff. You can get very good covers at our Cover Designer Book itself, just post your request and you will get your help.

Hope you implement these advises, and wishing your book success.

Rating: 6.85/10

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P.S. These are just suggestions made by me for the betterment of the book; it's up to the author to implement them. And I didn't mean to hurt the author's feelings, and would like to apologize, if I have.

- Rosemerrypuff1609, Reviewer, RamblingBrooks.