chapter one
Hailpaw trudges through ShadowClan's damp undergrowth, staring forlornly at his paws.
Managing to ignore- or at the very least, tolerate- the anxiety causing his gait to uncertainly quiver becomes harder with each step.
Starting to regret declining Willowstar's offer for an escort to the Moonpool and thinking that perhaps some company could serve to dispel the loneliness that follows him everywhere- he pushes forward.
Hailpaw quickens his pace, though with no one around he fails to muster up any excitement in his demeanor.
His imminent naming ceremony- the debacle- to him seems only to serve as another reminder that his mentor is no longer here to help make the world seem less frightening.
Noticing the faint sound of rushing water, Hailpaw glances through wide blue-green eyes up at the winding dirt trail up to the Moonpool.
Pausing a moment to take in a few deep breaths and prepare himself, Hailpaw takes a single but hesitant step onto the pathway.
"Almost there," he murmurs, trying to psych himself up.
Discovering that some of his nerves have dissipated, Hailpaw increases his speed to a brisk trot and hurries up the slope.
-=-
The reddish light filtering through the tree canopy dapples Hailpaw's splotched gray-and-white pelt as he quietly enters the clearing.
The sound of rushing water is much more prominent now; the luminous waterfall feeding into the Moonpool sprays a mist of ice-cold water into the air.
Hailpaw hazards a glance at the other medicine cats gathered on the other side of the Moonpool, fidgeting awkwardly as he waits for someone to notice him.
After a good few moments of near-silence, Hailpaw tentatively approaches the gathered healers.
"...Hello, everyone," he mumbles, immediately feeling very awkward.
Starlingclaw of ThunderClan notices the young cat's presence first, nudging his apprentice, Ashpaw, to stand as he rises and approaches Hailpaw.
"Hey, Hailpaw," Starlingclaw mews gently, brow furrowed in a display of concern that the gray and white tom determines to be somewhat genuine.
"You doing alright?"
The black tom flicks an ear as Ashpaw trots to his side and beams reassuringly at Hailpaw.
Hailpaw nods unconvincingly, managing to smile half-heartedly back at the ThunderClan cats but unsure of his ability to speak.
Starlingclaw lets out a hum of acknowledgement, his tail flicking back and forth; he remains silent for a few heartbeats.
"I know this is a difficult time, Hailpaw, but you'll get through it. Have faith that StarClan is guiding you."
Hailpaw nods again, having occupied himself with maintaining his wavering balance.
"Thanks."
"Of course," Starlingclaw replies kindly, taking a step back to return to his spot next to an oak tree.
After a nod and a tail flick to Hailpaw, Ashpaw does the same and sits back down next to her mentor.
Feeling inexplicably unsatisfied by the interaction, Hailpaw expels a shaky breath and approaches the SkyClan medicine cats, Beechfoot and Mossyspots.
"Hey, kiddo," Beechfoot mews as Hailpaw takes a seat next to him.
"Hi, Beechfoot," Hailpaw murmurs, glancing up at the senior medicine cat.
"Hey, Hailpaw," Mossyspots chimes in, smiling softly.
Hailpaw nods to the bracken-colored she-cat, shifting his paws in the dust.
"You ready for your ceremony?" Beechfoot questions amicably.
"I...think so," Hailpaw replies, glancing around in a manner that indicates the contrary.
"...Will Rabbitwhisker be coming?"
Hailpaw feels bad for asking, but knows that one of the WindClan medicine cat's trademark unsolicited snarky remarks just might send him over the edge.
Beechfoot shrugs.
"We'll wait a bit longer for him, but if he doesn't show we're going to go ahead without him. His headaches get worse around this time since it's bright all day, so he might be resting."
"..Okay," replies Hailpaw ambiguously, watching Ivyhawk of RiverClan shift in his secluded corner.
"I know he's not the nicest to you, bud," Mossyspots pipes up again, "-but I hope he'll have the sense to keep the rude comments to himself."
Hailpaw feels that Mossyspots' admission is somewhat of an understatement, but assumes she's speaking delicately of Rabbitwhisker for the sake of remaining polite.
"Y'know," Beechfoot continues, "-us and Starlingclaw decided what your full medicine cat name'll be earlier. I hope you'll like it."
"I hope so too," Hailpaw mews, trying to silence the voice in his mind pointedly advising that Thornflight should be the one giving him his name and not a different Clan's medicine cats.
Beechfoot breaks eye contact to survey the clearing, pausing to regard Ivyhawk with a warm smile.
"How's RiverClan, Ivyhawk?"
The RiverClan medicine cat stares numbly back at Beechfoot through tired eyes.
Hailpaw, uncertain of exactly how much of Ivyhawk's demeanor has to do with his Clan, can make a good guess.
"A functional forest fire, as usual," the golden tabby replies dryly.
Appearing a bit taken aback, Beechfoot flicks an ear.
"Well, I hope Shellstar can pull it together, then," the senior medicine cat remarks, grinning a little.
"He can't pull it together because he doesn't know what he's doing," Ivyhawk drawls, his tone sarcastic to hide a bit of frustration.
Beechfoot shakes his head, glancing knowingly at Mossyspots.
Taking notice of this exchange, Starlingclaw gets to his paws with a slight wobble and inserts himself into the conversation.
"Well, everyone, why don't we talk about something- else while we wait for Rabbitwhisker?"
Ivyhawk huffs irritatedly, withdrawing further away from the rest of the medicine cats.
Hailpaw hears the RiverClan medicine cat mutter something about Shellstar, the Dark Forest, and 'running the Clan into the ground' and settles down on his stomach in anticipation of things getting awkward.
"I'm thinking we should start without him, Starlingclaw," Beechfoot mews, unphased by Ivyhawk.
"We can't wait all night for him to get here."
Starlingclaw sways back and forth, appearing to consider this insight.
"Good point, good point...I suppose we can start now, then."
Hailpaw's fur begins to bristle and his chest tightens before he can make a motion to get up.
Beechfoot rises to his paws, shaking out his fluffy pelt, and gently nudges Hailpaw.
"C'mon, kiddo, it's time," the senior medicine cat murmurs, smiling kindly down at the younger tom.
Hailpaw pulls himself up, still a little ruffled, and follows Beechfoot to the edge of the Moonpool.
He finds himself mesmerized by the reflected moonlight that makes the pool shimmer, but manages to make awkward eye contact with Beechfoot as the SkyClan medicine cat clears his throat.
"I, Beechfoot," the senior medicine cat begins, "medicine cat of SkyClan, call upon my ancestors to look down on this apprentice. Though his training has been cut short, with your help and ours he will serve his Clan for many moons."
Hailpaw stifles a pang of grief at yet another reminder, but forces himself to focus.
"Hailpaw, do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, to stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan and to protect all cats equally, even at the cost of your life?"
"I- I do," Hailpaw mumbles, becoming more self-conscious when Ashpaw beams at him from where she's sitting.
"Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your true name as a medicine cat. Hailpaw, from this moment you will be known as Hailwatcher. StarClan honors your perseverance and compassion, and we welcome you as a full medicine cat of ShadowClan."
As the medicine cats cheer his name, Hailwatcher takes a moment to process everything.
Grateful that he likes his new name, he lets a half-hearted smile creep across his face, but the uncertainty of what awaits him beyond the Moonpool's glassy surface leaves him with a dread he can't shake.
Beechfoot trots to the edge of the Moonpool, settling down before turning to Hailwatcher and beckoning him closer.
Hailwatcher obliges, crouching down and staring into the still water.
The other medicine cats gather around the Moonpool; Ivyhawk seats himself a few fox-lengths away from everyone else.
Ashpaw, still beaming widely, crouches down next to Starlingclaw.
Hailwatcher finds her enthusiasm and medicinal prowess exceptional and Ashpaw herself to effortlessly and unintentionally highlight his own inadequacy.
"Go ahead, kiddo," Beechfoot mews softly, nodding toward the glowing water.
Hailwatcher tentatively leans forward, stifling a cough as he breathes in chilled air, and laps up a drop of water.
The water's chill ripples through his body as exhaustion sets in and his vision darkens.
-=-
Hailwatcher stirs, feeling a warm breeze ruffle his fur, and staggers to his paws.
Around him lies an empty, glittering field, watched over by a lavender sky full of stars.
Wondering about his reasons for being here and why stars watch over StarClan, he wanders a few steps in each direction.
The stark and rather unexpected silence surrounding him sends a shiver down his spine.
After a few moments of idling, Hailwatcher notices a slate-gray cat trotting toward him.
The cat comes nearer and nearer before stopping a few tail-lengths from where the young medicine cat stands.
Hailwatcher shuffles toward the StarClan cat, unsure of how to go about this.
"Hello?" he mews, immediately becoming embarrassed at an unsuccessful attempt to hide his confusion.
The cat clears his throat, and upon inspecting further Hailwatcher notes he has the build of a ShadowClan warrior.
"Hey, kid," the gray cat replies amicably, his striped tail swishing behind him.
"I'm Slatestar. Here to show you around."
Hailwatcher starts to wonder where he's heard the name before.
"Nice to meet you," says Hailwatcherquietly, shifting awkwardly.
"Sorry to ask, but is there a way that I can see Thornflight while you show me around? Or something?"
"Can't do that. Sorry, kid," Slatestar replies, shaking out his pelt.
"Wh- why not?" Hailwatcher questions, dejected.
"Against policy. Something about meetings between mentors and apprentices taking too long."
Finding this reason to be rather stupid, Hailwatcher considers protesting but ultimately decides not to.
"Alright," he mutters in defeat, resisting the creeping urge to withdraw from the conversation entirely.
Noticing Hailwatcher's disappointment, Slatestar sighs.
"Sorry, kid. I don't make the rules."
Hailwatcher nods blankly, forcing himself to make eye contact with the StarClan cat.
He detects uncertainty and possibly frustration flickering behind Slatestar's otherwise resolute composure.
"Anyways, I said I'd show you around, and I don't wanna take too long," Slatestar mews declaratively, disrupting the small lapse in conversation.
"Let's get a move on!"
Hailwatcher shuffles after Slatestar as the StarClan cat trots toward a forest of sparkling pine trees.
"So," Slatestar murmurs, his voice dropping low, "-we're over here because I have something to tell you."
The nagging voice questioning 'why couldn't it just be Thornflight' continues to bother Hailwatcher but he tries not to let it distract him.
"Like a prophecy...or- something?" Hailwatcher inquires softly, tilting his head.
"Yeah, yeah, sort of," Slatestar whispers back.
"Basically, I was told to tell you to- be careful. Very...careful."
"May I ask...why?"
Hailwatcher glances around, noting the unappealing nature of the pine marsh he and Slatestar are standing in.
"I can't tell you the details, but- among your ranks, there is...a traitor."
Freezing in place, Hailwatcher stammers incoherently for a few moments before managing to form a response.
"What? What does that mean?"
Slatestar grimly shakes his head, letting out a long sigh.
"That's all I can say."
Hailwatcher starts to pace back and forth, swaying on his paws.
The implications of the warning were just starting to sink in, and he was trying his hardest not to panic in front of Slatestar.
"Why couldn't you tell Willowstar..? Or just- someone else.. " Trying to steady himself, Hailwatcher grips the grass with his paws.
"Hey, hey..calm down, kid," Slatestar mews, swishing his tail.
"Look, the reason why we decided to tell you is because you're the best cat to give the information to."
'I'm your best option?' Hailwatcher echoes, very much doubting this sentiment.
"Yep," Slatestar replies, crouching down a little to make direct eye contact with Hailwatcher.
"Do you..know who it is?" Hailwatcher continues, the question having popped up in his mind.
Slatestar pauses, palpable hesitance indicating a preemptive answer.
"Well..we might."
"Then why not tell me?"
Frustrated, Hailwatcher starts to rock back and forth on his paws.
"Because we may be wrong, and even if we were right, I could get in trouble for telling you, kiddo. We're not supposed to meddle in the Clans' affairs too much."
Hailwatcher resists the urge to mutter disagreement and glances back up at Slatestar.
"Then what am I supposed to do?"
"Like I told you. Be careful. Alright?" Slatestar tilts his head a little, scanning the young medicine cat intently.
Hailwatcher recoils, the fur along his back prickling.
"Alright..."
"Well.." Slatestar glances down at Hailwatcher's paws, prompting him to look down as well.
Hailwatcher notices that he can see the grass below him through his paws, and shifts them around.
"Um...what's happening to me, Slatestar?" the young tom mews, furrowing his brow.
"You're waking up. I'll see you next time." Seeming suddenly detatched, Slatestar glances away.
"But I still have questions-"
"Sorry, but you'll have to wait until next time."
"What? What's going on-"
The edges of Hailwatcher's vision start to blur, and the world again becomes dark.
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