◤𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓣𝔀𝓸◢

ALLYSTER's P.O.V.

There's a pounding pain in my head. I groaned as the heat of the morning sun hit my face through the open window as its curtain flips wildly with the wind. I opened my eyes slowly as I sat on the bed massaging my temple.

I look around the room but my eyes landed on the blood scattered over my bed sheets. My eyes widened as the memories of what happened last night returned to my aching head. "Damn," I cursed in disgust. What the fuck 'am I thinking? Why the hell did I fuck the fag?

I searched for a certain blond around my room. Where the hell is that fag? I remember tying him on the bed's headboard. I groaned in annoyance as I climbed out of the bed.

I head to the kitchen expecting him to be there cooking silently as he annoyingly hums to himself, but the fag wasn't there.

I gritted my teeth. I called him loud enough to reach every corners of my house. But the fag didn't show up. I started to feel uneasy, what if I over did him last night and ended up killing him? I really didn't mean to kill the faggot, I just said it to threaten him. I shook my head; he might just fell unconscious somewhere in the house.

I run all over the house but fuck! He's nowhere around. Then it hits me, I run to the door only to see it open wide with a trace of blood on the knob. Shit!

He escaped! I didn't expect it coming, he never dared to escape me before even if I left the door unlocked. Shit! Shit! He can't escape me! He might still be there limping outside. I left him beaten last night and I'm sure after what I did to him, he wouldn't make it too far away. I smirked. I'll make him regret ever trying to escape me.

Who could blame me for beating the fag and well, fucking him isn't planned. He ruined my life, my fiancée broke up with me after that hotel incident. We may be engaged for the business and money's sake but we started falling for each other and bam! She caught me with the fucking faggot. I don't know what's his motive, he refused to talked even though I beat him day after day.

Then I met this new woman but fuck again! My ex-fiancée told him what she saw and just like the first, she refused to listen to me and I couldn't help but blame it to that fucking faggot who started it all.

I snapped last night in my over drunken state and beat him and threatened him. I don't know what came over me to fuck him. But damn it! I hate to admit it but it felt good! I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking about it.

I walked around the area but I couldn't find him. I went back home feeling frustrated for not finding him.

I slammed the door closed. I feel like screaming, he can't hide from me and I swear I'll get him back. And once I caught him, I will never let him out of that fuck dark room. I chain him and locked him in there so he will never have the chance to leave again.

I punched the wall, damn! Why 'am I over reacting!? Fuck, this must be because I've been careless that he escaped me.

I clenched my teeth, "Enjoy yourself out while it last, Fag."

✴✴✴

Six Months Later...

I smirked, "Is that all?" I asked the detective standing on the other side of my office table.

"Yes, Sir," he answered.

"Very well," I said as I handed him an envelope with the payment inside. He nods before leaving my office quietly.

I leaned back on my chair as I grinned evilly. Finally, I found you!

It's been six damn months since Rui escaped. I call him by his name now, don't get me wrong but I still hate him.

I'll never let him go this time, chasing him had been my obsession this past few months. Only to find him living at the country side, he rarely went out of his rundown apartment and what infuriates me more, is there is a man who visits him almost every day bringing him supplies. I gritted my teeth, I won't let him live a happy life especially with another man. Fuck! What the hell 'am I thinking! I should go to him now so I would think weird things anymore.

I grabbed my car keys as I headed to the elevator. Ignoring the greetings of my employees, I walked out of the building fast.

It's been a long drive 'till I reached his apartment. I parked few meters away from his apartment. I pressed the bridge of my nose as I looked over his place in dislike. How could he live in this kind of place? It is too old and dirty.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw a motorcycle stopped by his doorstep. A man with loads of what looks like grocery bags jumped out of his motorcycle. The door opened but I didn't get the chance to see him as the man entered quickly.

I clenched my hands as I waited for the man to leave. I'm running out of patience as it took three fucking hours before he leaves. Thankfully, the door opened again as the man walked out to his motorcycle and leaved.

I've waited five minutes before I decided to walked out of my car and knocked on his door. I can't wait to see his terrified look when he sees me.

I heard slow footsteps walking towards the door. "Alex?! What have you forgotten this-" he said on the other side of the door. My heart starts to beat fast. The fuck's wrong with me?! The door opened slowly, "-time?!"

I heard him gasped. I smirked as I watch his facial expression changed from shock, paled and then terrified look.

"Found 'ya," I said coldly.

"A-A-All-lys-t-ter?!" he breathed. "H-How..." he asked moving to step backwards. He turned his back to me as I heard him breath hard and fast.

I grabbed his shoulder before he could move away. "Going somewhere?!" I asked irritated, I hate it when people turn their backs on me while we talk.

"P-Please! W-W-What else d-do you need from m-me?" I could feel his body tremble in fear. That's it! Fear me more. "Yo-You probably h-have a w-wife now. S-she must be w-worried..." he stuttered. Damn! Is he insulting me? I spin him around to face me as I hold his arms firmly.

"What the hell are saying?!" I roared. Tears started to swell in his eyes. Shit, why 'am I getting affected by his tears.

I mentally shook my head and averted my gaze. My eyes roam down his body when my eyes landed on something strange. Does his stomach grow or he's just getting fat? But it is only his stomach that got big. I laughed mentally, he looks like a pregnant woman. Curiosity hits me.

I looked back on his eyes. His body started to shake and his breathing hitched. I tightened my gripped on his arms. He is avoiding my eyes as he sobs and sniff louder, tears starts to roll down his flustered face.

"What's that?" I asked prying him to tell the truth or else.

"I-I-I j-just ate a-a lot and g-got fat..." I know his lying.

"Cut the bullshit, fag!" I growled. Losing patience. I noticed that we're still standing at the door way so I dragged him inside.

I snort as I look around his small apartment. Everything I see is old and rusty. There's only two doors, the small one looks like the comfort-bathroom and the other must be the bedroom. The small living room that fits only one sofa and a small old television. It is connected to a confines kitchen with a small table that fits only two persons. This place is too small and old to live.

I gritted my teeth as I pushed him on the sofa. He winced as he bounces on it, hugging his stomach protectively weird.

I stood in front of him in annoyance, it is a surprise that I haven't hit him yet after all the stunt he pulled.

"Talk," I warned as I stared at him dangerously. I'm running out of my patience.

"N-Nooo," he blurts out but after realizing his mistake, he clasped his hands over his mouth then look up to me in fright. "S-Sorry, I-I m-mean... I-I can't... I-It just no-nothing..." he stuttered.

"Damn it! If that," I pointed. "...is nothing, why the hell are you scared of telling me?" I smirked as I added, "don't tell me you're pregnant?"

He stiffened as he looks down on his abnormally huge stomach. I narrowed my eyes. "You going to talk or I'll beat you? You choose!" I demanded, his silence is really getting to my nerves. I clenched my fist.

Seeing that, he panicked, "A-Alright... I-I-I'll t-talk... P-Please... D-Don't hurt me..."

I waited as he took a shaky deep breath, "P-Please... I-If I tell y-you t-the tr-truth, promise m-me..." he sobs then sniffed. "...that y-you won't t-tell an-anyone..."

"Cut the crap and just say it!" I ordered impatiently.

"I-I-I'm... I'm..." he mumbled.

"Fuck," I yelled. "Say it louder!"

"I-I'm p-p-preg-preg-nnnant!" he almost screamed crying.

I think I'm hearing things, "Come again?"

"I-I'm ppreg-"

"What the hell?!" is he crazy? "Are you kidding me? How the fuck is that possible?" I yelled in annoyance and confusion.

"I-I'm n-not lying..." he defended as his eyes saddened between sobbing. "I-I've already told y-you... S-So please, y-you c-can leave now... I-It doesn't matter i-if you d-don't believe me..." he stands up slowly wiping his tears off his flushed cheeks.

What the fuck?! He's gone insane. He's a man, a male, how the hell does he expect me to buy his lies? "You're lying! Now tell me the truth!" I glared at him as I grabbed his arms tightly.

He winced in pain but I don't care. How dare him lied to me like an insane person?

"L-Let me g-go," he struggled in my grip. "I told y-you it's t-the truth!"

My temper snapped in annoyance. He still insists his lies and keep on struggling.

In on swift I pushed him hard on the sofa. "Stop you're insane reasoning! You're crazy! Not because your stomach is big means you're pregnant! You're a man! You hea-" I stopped as I saw him struggling to breath. His eyes we're shut close while clutching his stomach.

"A-Aaahh"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked in confusion as I stood in front of him watching.

"A-Allys-ter.." my heart skipped as he called my name breathlessly. Cracking his eyes open as his brows furrowed in pain.

Not knowing what to do I walked towards him. "I-It... It h-hurts... H-Help m-meee... Ple-Please..." he clutched on my front shirt as he looked up at me as fat tears rolled down his eyes.

I looked down on his stomach. There're blood and what seems like water on his pants. "What the fuck?!"

He gasped again, "Aaah... H-Hos-pi-tal... A-Aargh... Hurts... Pleeeaase..."

I instantly panicked. I didn't know what to do so I scooped him up in my arms then run out of his apartment. I sat him in the backseat as I run to the driver's seat. I looked back at him, as I started the engine. He's holding his stomach tightly, his breathing is labored, his face is in pain and fuck my backseat it wet with blood. But in this situation I couldn't let myself complain when I heard him talk, not to me but to his swollen stomach.

"B-Baby... D-Do-Don't c-come out yet... P-Please... Aaah..."he hissed in pain. "A-Always r-remember that I-I love y-you..."

✴✴✴

I almost made my car fly just to make it to the hospital. The doctors and nurses cowered him with shocked so I have to threatened them to work.

They didn't let me in the operating room so I have to wait outside.

Fuck! I felt like crap! I shouldn't have looked for him! I might be insane as well, because I'm damn nervous and fucking scared. What the hell is wrong with me?

I still can't believe that he's pregnant yet here he is, risking his fuckin' life giving birth!

I walked back and forth in anticipation, the operation is taking so long that it's been five hours. I almost run to the doctor when she came out of the door.

"Is he alright?" I asked instantly.

She smiled softly though she seemed sad, "I'm sorry. He made it but he is now in comma. His body is not developed for baring a child and the baby is born early than expected." My heart clenched for an unknown reason and it seems so hard to breathe. But I brushed it off.

"And you must be the father,"

My heart skipped and I was speechless, father? Me? I didn't see that coming but I composed myself and refused to react.

"You have a cute baby boy," she continued. "He's so wonderful even though we almost failed to save them both. He's heart is weak so you have to be extra careful with him. It is because Rui's body is weak as well, that must be the effect of the abuse that his body couldn't provide enough for the baby," I cringed as she said it with a saddened glint in her eyes. "And you must take care of Rui too, he almost didn't make it. He stopped breathing plenty of time in the middle of the operation." My heart clenched but remain silent. "You know- I have been his doctor since he discovered his pregnancy. We're both shocked at the news and I was afraid that he even considered abortion..."

What? Being a fag is already a sin but abortion is not only a sin but a crime! How dare him?!

"...but I'm glad he changed his mind. That baby is a miracle," she said. "You don't have to worry about people knowing about him, we assure the privacy of our patients. She smiled reassuring. "Well, if you have more questions, I will be in my clinic. The nurse will bring you to the nursery so you can see your baby. If you'll excuse me," she looks at the nurse indicating for her to lead me. I nod to the doctor in thanks as I followed the nurse.

✴✴✴

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the little baby with Rui's name, sleeping peacefully in the nursery. The doctor is right. He's perfectly wonderful. I don't understand myself but the moment I saw him, I felt like something is pulling me to him. There's an unfamiliar warmth within me that I can't comprehend. I don't know how long I've been staring at him from the glass window when someone talk to me.

"Oh, you look dazed," said the man beside me as he stared inside too, but I didn't respond. "Must be your first baby huh, well, they said that I look like that too when I have my first baby. The feeling is so wonderful. I couldn't look away from her. Anyway lucky you, you still have him," that is all he said then he walked away. What a strange man, but what does he mean by that? Maybe he lost his baby, that's why. I remembered that the doctor said that they almost failed to save them, what if they died?

I feel a sudden fang in my heart. I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking that way! The baby is not even- wait.

Then realization struck me. I didn't think about it before. Given that he's been pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy, but who the hell's the father? Is it the guy who visited him? Fuck! So he's been whoring himself huh?! No way, I'm not letting him go, now that I finally caught him back. Shit! What the hell 'am I thinking? I hate what I'm feeling, I feel weird. Fuck, I hate the thought of him being with other men. No! I'm not a fag, it must be because he escaped me that he shouldn't be... Argh! Damn my head is aching! I'm not a fag! I can't be and will never be! Damn, what kind of curse does he gave me?

Thinking me with another man is fucking disgusting but shit! Why 'am I confuse when it's him?!

"Excuse me sir," I snapped out of my thought when a nurse taps my shoulder. "Would you like to see you're wif- err... h-husband? Your baby will be taken there soon," she said awkwardly. I nod in response, "then please follow me."

I looked back once more to the sleeping baby before following the nurse silently.

✴✴✴

My heart sinks the moment I saw him in the bed motionless. He looked so pale. My eyes landed on the scar on his face, the one I blindly carved with my own fucking hand out of anger! I started to feel guilty. Damn, I'm not used to this kind of emotions. But the hell, if only I could bring back time I'll never even dared to mark his beautiful skin. I look over his thin body, knowing that even that place is marred by scars.

I step beside his bed his bed when the door opened. A nurse walked to me carrying Rui's son. I stared at him as the nurse hand him to me but I hesitated. I don't know what to do. I've never held such a delicate child and I'm afraid that he might fall if I ever hold him.

"Don't worry sir, it's alright to hold him he won't fall," said the nurse.

My hands we're sweaty as the nurse put him in my arms gently. Then as if on cue, he opened his eyes revealing his azure eyes that matches Rui's like he's in a new world. Fuck this over whelming feelings, I don't care it feels good! This must be how father's felt when they hold their child for the first time. Shit, I'm not even his father yet... No! I might be feeling this way because somehow I just want to have my own family and if it wasn't for that fa- I mentally shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking this now.

I didn't even notice that the nurse left already if the baby I'm holding didn't start to cry. I panicked, he looked on his side as if knowing that it's his mother.

I sat on the chair beside Rui's bed so the baby could have a better look on his 'mother'. It still feels uncomfortable calling him a mother but what else should I call him?

I racked him slowly like what I saw on televisions and miraculously he stopped crying. He stared back at me with his tear stained eyes. Damn, his eyes remind me of Rui's when he cries.

"You know- you shouldn't cry a lot. Look, you don't have to be worried, your mother is just sleeping and he'll wake up soon," I said to him as if he could understand me. And to my utter surprise and amazement he smiled at me. And damn it! He even has a cute deep dimples on both of his fluffy cheeks. It looked so familiar.

What the hell?! I looked at him intensely, I touched his right cheek with my forefinger. "Will you smile for me again, baby?" I asked softly. Instead he laughed at me making some cute gurgling sounds. Darn it. Of course it looked so familiar because I have those same deep dimples. How the heck is that possible? No! I'm just exaggerating things, that can't be possible. But there's a nagging voice screaming inside my head that there's still a possibility because we've done it once. Shit! I don't want to think about it anymore! Right, we'll have a DNA test to answer all my questions.

I focused my attention back to the bundle in my arms. He's really adorable, who could deny him? Hell, if his mine, damn it I'll have him at all cost!

His eyes started to droop. For the first time I since I was a child, I smiled, a real smile. He slowly closed his eyes. I stared at him for a few minutes more before I went to the crib near the bed. I instinctively plant a soft kiss on his forehead as I laid him down.

I smiled to myself as I watched him sleep innocently. Maybe having him is not bad at all. But what if he's not mine? I started to doubt. What would I do?

I walked back to the chair by the bed. I looked at Rui's face. Damn, I've never expected things to turn out like this and to be this complicated. All I want to do is confine him again in my house. To chain him inside that small dark room and beat him, until I get tired of him and get satisfied enough for my anger to dissipate, from that incident and for escaping from me. But now that I'm looking at him, doing that again wouldn't give me anymore satisfaction.

I hate to admit it but weeks after he left, I started to feel empty. I already got used to his presence. Every time I woke up in the morning, I'll be greeted by the mouth-watering smell of the food he cooked. The bath and clothes he prepared and when I returned, I silently felt that after a hard day finally I'm home while the meal was already prepared. But damn, my life went back to being dull when he left. Since then, I've been obsessed in finding him. Only to end up in this situation.

I laughed dryly, "Damn you! Why do you have to always cause me so much trouble?" I asked in frustration. I run the back of my hand along the scar on his right cheek.

I must be insane for having these thoughts. I can't let my pride be wavered by my stupid emotions. It is funny that after hating him and hurting him here I 'am, wasting so much time thinking about having feelings for the person I called a fag. How ironic. He even had a child whom I don't know who's the father is, yet I find him adorable and even think of claiming him as mine. Karma is really a damned bitch.

✴✴✴

One month later...

It's been a month and Rui hasn't made any progress. Damn it! I'm starting to lose my mind. Thanks to Ruiz, he keeps my mind at bay even if it's hard to take care of him. He requires a lot of attention especially at night. It's really tiring, but when I think of how Rui managed to take care of our baby inside his body for eight months, dealing with what the nurse said as morning sickness, cravings, mood swings and body pains, this is nothing to compare.

I also barely went to my office and just managed all the transactions through my laptop. I can't leave Ruiz, I already gave him a name which is after Rui's name, so I don't have to call him baby, child or him.

The result of the DNA test was already given to me a week ago, and the feeling I had is so wonderful and overwhelming discovering that he is really mine, though it doesn't matter anymore who's his father is. But I'm still very lucky because God blessed me with such a cute baby even though I don't deserve it.

Day by day, the more I spend my time with Rui the more I want him to wake up. I want to try living with him and Ruiz. I started to wonder how would it feels to raise Ruiz as he run around the house as l chase after him while Rui is cooking and smiling at as. I wonder how would his smile look like. Damn I'm starting to act like a sappy old man! Heck! Who cares, this is the first time I long for a family. A family that is mine.

I laughed to myself, a family that is no one else's but mine. Mine to provide, to support, to protect and to... Love.

With that thought in mind, I've finally decided on what I would do.

✴✴✴

Another month had past...

I feel nervous, the doctor said that Rui's condition is improving and anytime soon he'll wake up.

I laid Ruiz's sleeping form in the crib as I sat beside Rui.

I've been busy the whole month preparing things so that when Rui's awaken, everything's been settled.

I bought a larger new house with a spacious garden and large pool in the backyard. I cancelled Rui's apartment as well and I already moved his things in our house. I'm pretty excited to move in. I personally made Ruiz's nursery room and I filled it with his things such as clothes, toys, diapers and more.

I'm very new to this overwhelming feelings but I'm definitely liking it. I also thought hard about how'd I treat Rui. I promised to myself not to hurt him again, not just because I'm afraid that he'll run away again and bring our son with him though I can always find them but, I'd rather see him happy by my side, so I'll do my best to make him forgive me.

I didn't have to wait more because after two days Rui finally opened his eyes.

I just finished feeding Ruiz and laid him in the crib asleep when I heard a moan. I turned to Rui and my heart started to pound as I sat on his side of the bed.

He slowly looked around the room when his gaze landed on me. His eyes widened and started to squirm away from me, but I grabbed his shoulders.

He started to panicked. "A-A-All-Allys-ter..?" he said in a hoarse voice.

I smiled softly that even I was surprised that I did it. "Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you," I said sincerely. He stopped squirming but remain cautious. I couldn't blame him for being afraid of me, I've done nothing but hurt him before.

"I'm glad you finally woke up."

He looked at me confused, "w-what d-do y-you mean...?" he asked but then he gasped as if he just realizing something. He looked down on his stomach and removed the blanket covering him.

He gasped again as his eyes started to water. "W-Whe-Where i-is my b-baby?!" he cried touching his belly. He looked at me again, "No! Where is h-he?!" he screamed at me hysterically.

My heart sunk at the scene, "Calm down Rui," I said as I reached his face to wipe the tears away. He flinched but didn't move. "He's alright, he's over there," I said turning my head to the crib near his bed as he follows my gaze. "Do you want to see him?" I asked holding his hand then squeezing it.

He stared at my hand then nodded eagerly. Fuck why does he have to be damn cute. I let go of his hand then walked to the crib and took Ruiz gently in my arms.

I walked slowly towards Rui. His eyes staring at our son in awe. Tears started to fall again from his eyes.

"I-Is he-" he run his forefinger over Ruiz's chubby cheek as I sat beside him.

"Would you want hold him?" I asked softly. He stared at me as fears run through his face.

"Wh-What i-if-"

"Don't worry he won't fall," I reassured wiping his tears with my free hand. I extend Ruiz to him as he reached his shaking hands to him.

Damn I've gone softy, but fuck who cares?

"T-Thank y-you..." he whispered. I stared at him as he pets Ruiz's hair.

"Tsk! You know this is kinda' awkward..." I hesitated.

"I-I'm very s-sorry... A-Allyster..." I said taking off guard. "I-I r-really don't w-want to do-do that to you..." he started to sob again.

I sighed, this topic is really sensitive for us. I put my hand on his shoulder, "It's alright now, Rui. I should be the one to apologize, I've been blind by my anger and hurt you."

He looked at me doubtfully, " Anyway, let's not talked about it for now," I said. "I'll call the doctor later to inform her that you've awaken."

He nodded as he stared back again at Ruiz's sleeping face.

"I already gave him a name," I informed as he snapped his head to look at me in disbelief. "I'm sorry, if you already have a name in mind we can change it."

"Wh-What di-did you name him?"

I put my hand in the back of my neck sheepishly, "well I named him after you, he's name's Ruiz."

His eyes widened. "I-It's fine," he said as he smiled shyly. Heck it's damn cute!

"And I also registered him in my family name," he frowned.

"What?!"

"Well, since he's my son, he deserves my name."

He froze, "H-H-How did you know?" he asked frightened.

I grabbed his hand and hold it tightly. "I know it's too sudden and I know that it's still hard for you to forgive but please, will you live with me?" I asked pleadingly.

He gasped, "B-But..."

"Don't worry, I promise, I won't hurt you ever again!" his hand is shaking and his face is frightened. "I've already regretted doing that to you, please I want to try this out."

I felt nervous as he stared at me intently as if he's seeing through me. He hesitated at first but he sighed as he glanced at Rui before looking back at me.

"O-Okay, b-but I-I just w-want to a-ask some-thing i-if it's a-alright w-with you..." he said silently while his head down.

I smile happily, "anything you want!" he gasped again at my excited voice.

"I-I want t-to see A-Alexis first..." he muttered.

I frowned, Alexis? Who is he? Could he be his lover? I remembered him calling his name when I went to his apartment. And I think it's the guy who visited him. I felt a fang in my heart. Fuck it!

"Uh... If y-you don't want to, i-its f-fine..." he said in panicked making me guilty.

"Who's he?"

"A-Ahm, h-he's my b-brother..."

Oh it's just his brother. I calmed down, I felt relieved.

I smiled at him making him stared at me as if I've grown two heads. "Of course you could, by the way I already cancelled your apartment contract and transferred your things in our new house."

His eyes widened again then started to tear up. "W-Why are y-you doing this? I thought y-you hate me? Y-You e-even bought a n-new house... You confused me..." he said sobbing.

I sighed again, "I don't know too but like I said, I want to try things out..." I said brushing off his tears. "And I don't hate you, okay? I bought a new house because I want a larger place where our son can run and so that nothing will remind us of the time when I hurt you anymore." I explained.

And to my surprise he grabbed my hand and kissed it. "I-Is t-that true? Y-You even c-call him o-our son... but y-your n-not g-gay and you h-hate us..."

"Yes, I might not be gay but you're different and like I said, I don't hate you," I explained again. "I'm very sorry for all the things I've done, I want us to move on from the past and start a new life with him," I said as I gestured to our sleeping son.

He smiled at me, "I-I do-don't know what t-to say..."

"You don't have to say anything, I know too well that it's hard for you to forgive me and you're still afraid of me," I smiled at him. "But I'm willing to wait, so please stay with me."

✴✴✴

⇝⦁ 𝕿𝔬 𝕭𝔢 𝕮𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔢𝔡 ⦁⇜