Trigger warning! Potentially triggering content in the last part of the chapter.

[Also, from now on, expect spoilers for the Wano arc all the time]

*

«Akainu won't budge.»

You frowned at the floor, tailing Aokiji down the long corridor of the base. The wall was lined by windows, the moonless night painting shadows on your path.

«And neither will you.»

It wasn't a question.

Aokiji sighed.

«I can't.»

Your lips pressed together, your hold tightened on the strap of your rifle.

The two of you walked down the stairs, moving through the semi-desert building until you reached the heavy door. The Admiral opened it for you, and you stepped outside before him.

The night was quiet and brisk, the air carried a briny flavor from the port.

«You worry too much, Y/n.»

Aokiji stood beside you, hands in his pocket, absently staring toward the sea, just a few blocks ahead. Your eyes trailed up to him before dropping to the ground once again. The anxiety in your chest prevented you from talking.

«Do you trust me?»

«Of course I do!» you blurted, the question immediately drawing you out from your tight bubble «I know you're, like, super strong! I just, I–»

You didn't finish, biting your lower lip instead. He tilted his head aside and rubbed his neck.

«You're a strange woman. Sometimes you don't have faith in me, sometimes you have too much...»

You rolled your eyes.

«You're not exactly an easy cookie yourself, sensei.»

A faint smile tugged at his mouth.

«Go to bed now, it's late.»

You nodded your goodnight, then headed for the residences.

«Oi, Y/n.»

His call had you turn, his dark gaze meeting yours.

«Whatever happens, trust me on this one.»

You blinked once.

«Of course, Aokiji-sensei.»

The morning after, you woke up in a weird mood.

You had dreamed about Aokiji, which hadn't happened for a while, probably because of the adrenalin of the last period, or because survival had been your first concern. And now that things calmed down for a second, there came the dreams, like ghosts reminding you they never really left. They never would.

«Do you sleep in all the time?»

Drake was waiting in the hallway to the dining room, leaning against the wall with arms crossed on his massive chest.

You ran a hand through your messy hair and yawned in reply.

The pirate rolled his eyes before heading to the hall and gesturing for you to follow.

«I only stopped by briefly, I still need to find O-Soba Mask.»

The ridiculous name drew a snort from you.

«Wow, he has a catchy name now. Nice. I'm making a coffee. Do you want some, Diez Drake, or is your quest for Soba Mask too compelling?»

You walked straight to the stoves and grabbed the small package left on the counter.

«We don't have a coffee maker.»

«I can use anything.»

Drake watched you quickly selecting the most suitable cookware and setting up an improvised moka. Then glanced outside the window, into the sunny morning.

«I guess I can wait five minutes.»

A smirk tugged at your lips while you worked. Soon enough, the smell of hot coffee filled the room. There weren't any small cups, so you poured the black liquid into sake glasses.

«Where did you learn?» Drake asked as you set one down before him.

«I need it, and it's not always easy to find, especially when you're travelling all the time. Plus it's hard to get the good stuff, even in Marineford.»

«Yeah, I remember.»

Your eyes flicked up to him, sitting across the table and drinking his coffee.

Right, we come from the same place.

«I didn't really like it at first, but it kept Aokiji-sensei awake.»

You didn't know why you said that. There was no need. You were never eager to talk about Aokiji, and Drake didn't ask. You regretted your words the moment they left your mouth.

The Admiral's name caught the pirate's attention, although he didn't let any emotion transpire to his face.

«Have you had any contact with him since he left the Marines?» he asked, almost casually.

«Nope.»

Your voice, together with the fact that you quickly buried your nose into your glass, told him the topic was closed.

The coffee slid down your throat and into your core, the tingling warmth pumping through your veins from there.

Maybe this was why you loved it so much. A surrogate for the warmth you pretended to never need.

«Not bad.»

Drake had emptied his glass too, his fingers hovering above it after he set it back on the table.

For a few moments, no one talked.

You soaked into the early sun, flooding the room through the ample window.

A minute of calm in the eye of the storm. Just surprising whom you were sharing it with.

«There is a reason why I dropped by.» Drake finally said, interrupting the silence.

He pulled out what looked like the daily paper from his belt and pushed it towards you.

«I have to be honest, I wasn't going to give you what you wanted so soon,» he gestured for you to read «But it seems I have no choice.»

What I want?

Moving slowly, you grabbed the paper and scanned through it.

The oiran dead, the city mourning, the funerals soon, blah blah blah.

You raised a concealed eyebrow at Drake but he waved for you to continue, so you flipped the page. And froze.

The pirate Eustass Kid has escaped from the prison camp in Udon.

Very dangerous.

If you spot him, avoid contact at all costs and alert authorities immediately.

A rough sketch of Kid occupied the entire space below the few sentences.

Drake observed your skin go pale, the fingers clutching at the paper.

«The news is everywhere, so I wouldn't be able to keep it from you anyway.»

You were unable to remove your stare from the sketch.

It was him. It was undoubtedly him.

He was there. He was close.

«Kotori.»

Your hold on the paper began to shake.

«L/n.»

Drake's call finally snatched you back to reality. Your eyes darted on him.

«Apparently, he escaped with seastone cuffs still on.» he said «He's beaten up and weakened. If there was ever a chance of pulling your revenge off, this is it.»

You swallowed, then parted your lips. Damn, the oxygen wasn't enough.

His gaze sharpened.

«Are you sure you're up for this?»

«Where's Udon?»

You jolted on your feet, your whole body tense. The pirate didn't reply, so you slammed the paper on the table and headed to the door.

«L/n, wait.»

«Even if you don't tell me, I'll find it by myself.» you growled, hand already grabbing the doorknob.

«I know, just... wait a second.»

When you didn't slow down, Drake stood and pressed his hand on the door. A mere fraction of his strength was enough to keep it shut despite your best efforts.

You gritted your teeth and turned to him.

«What?»

«Have you thought about what comes after?»

«After what?!»

«After you kill him. If you survive.»

You could hardly hear his words over the blood ringing in your ears, but he still noticed how your body shuddered at the word "kill".

No, I don't know what comes after.

I don't know anything.

Drake sighed at your silence.

«Thought so.»

«What do you want from me?!» you uttered in frustration, fist slamming against the door «We had a deal!»

«Yes, and Eustass Kid is only a piece of the puzzle, isn't he?»

You hesitated, his blue eyes staring down at you and locking you in place.

He was so close now, you had to tilt your chin upward to return his gaze. He could've crushed you in a moment, if he wanted.

Drake studied your face, at least the little he could see through the mask. Then sighed.

«Do what you have to, then come back here.»

You swallowed. Took a deep breath.

You had to slow down your heart, unclasp your mind from the ice in your veins.

Your muscles loosened slightly as the air expanded your lungs, over and over again.

«I was only ever here for the Kid Pirates.» you whispered.

«And what happens after you carry out your revenge?»

There was no answer to that.

«I can use someone with your skills.» he repeated.

His words lingered around you, their soft weight setting on your shoulders. Unbearable.

«Diez...» you leaned against the door for support.

Diez Drake can offer me a place to be, and you couldn't?

Did you ever... really wanted me by your side?

You shut your eyes, looking into your head, trying to sort out the right ones in the skein of your emotions. Finally, you raised your gaze to his.

«You know what's going on outside the capital.» you murmured «You know who you serve.»

The pirate's mouth tightened.

«This is only temporary. A stepping stone for something greater.»

You offered him a faint smile.

«Look, I'm the last person on earth who should talk. I don't know about you, but even when I joined the Marines, I didn't really give a crap about justice. Truths out, I was a terrible marine. And I'm pretty questionable as a person too, but Kaido?»

«You served as his representative just yesterday.»

«Yes, and I was this close to putting an arrow through the shogun's head!»

Drake's eyes twitched in surprise.

«I may not hold my fire next time.» you frowned «Believe me, you don't want me as a subordinate. No one ever did.»

Your hand slid into your pocket and you offered his jolly roger for him to take back.

Drake considered it for a few seconds, then held out his hand and closed your fingers over the brooch.

«Keep it. For now.»

His touch almost had you tremble, so you snatched your arm away.

«Fine. See ya. Thanks.»

You finally opened the door and ran outside the mansion.

Got a map, got a compass, got the arrows.

You can't fuck this up now, Y/n.

Udon was far but, with a bit of luck, if he was moving toward the capital, you could make it. After a brief attempt at stealing one of the saddled beasts gazing around, and almost losing a hand to its teeth, you decided you could make it on foot.

BOY I wish I had my boots now!

You couldn't retrieve them when you escaped from Applenine. A big loss, but they'd probably ended up destroyed during the disastrous landfall. Just like Stray.

You can't fuck this one up, Y/n.

«Bear with me, Hawk.» you whispered to the bow as you ran among the sparse buildings of the outskirts «If everything goes right, you'll get to kill some Beast Pirate.»

You had just barely left the capital, when you felt it. That sharp, itching sensation at the edge of your brain that said... you should change trajectory.

It wasn't your current goal. It wasn't Kid. But it was something you should not overlook, not now.

You stopped in the dust at the entrance of the wasteland.

«Dammit. What now?»

Again, the tingling.

You switched your observation from passive alert to search.

A presence, familiar and not familiar at the same time. Decently close but moving, fast and away from you.

Your tongue clicked in annoyance.

«Fuck. Fine.»

I'll check this out fast.

If what Drake said was true, if Kid escaped with seastone cuffs on him, he was vulnerable.

Well, to an extent. He was still Eustass fucking Kid.

You better hold the hell up until I find you, bastard.

Ah, what were you thinking? He already escaped on his own. Why would he need you at all?

Shaking your head and your thoughts off, you changed direction and followed the path traced by your Observation.

It led you away from the capital. The air grew colder, the ground harder. There were no people in the area. You pulled a cape from your satchel and wrapped it around your shoulders. The first snow was visible ahead of you, a white line on the horizon.

It was quiet, the muffled silence of the cold. Yet, your Observation guided you steadily.

Your run turned into walking, breath turned into vapor. Your heart started pounding as you slowly realized you wouldn't like what was to be found.

«Please! Please, she's just a child!»

The scream cut through the silence, just beyond a few high, jagged rocks separating you from the white valley.

Without a sound, the bow and an arrow slid in your hands. You crouched behind the black stones. They felt like ice.

Then something even colder froze the air in your chest.

That manic, high-pitched laugh you heard just a few nights before.

It made your teeth grind.

«Please, I beg you, let us go.»

«THIS is your last chance, woman. Put the jester down.»

Your stomach churned.

That voice. Strained, uneven, tormented.

But.

Familiar.

You could hear the strides in the frost. A lighter figure running. Childish laughter adding to the icy ones.

«FAFAFAFAFAFA! You can run, but you won't go far!»

You leaned forward just enough to peer beyond the rocks.

A flash of long, blond hair. Scythes gliding against the white sky. A swirl of kimonos moving down the valley.

Killer?

«A marine sniper?!»

Trafalgar Law nodded.

«L/n Y/n. I don't know if she's undercover or what, but she's the guard that recognized Bepo and threatened you.»

«Wait, wait, wait!» Usopp smacked his hands against his cheeks «Is she the one from Dressrosa?! I was barely conscious but...»

«Yes. Possibly the one that shot an arrow at us from the shore.»

«Holy shit! That was a hell of a shot!»

Franky rubbed his chin.

«If she's here, we must consider the possibility that Orochi is in cahoots with the Marines. This makes everything more complicated.»

«Oi, Tra-guy, tell me one thing.»

Sanji leaned toward Law with a very serious expression.

«Is she cute?»

«...»

«So why didn't you take her out?!» Usopp cried, ignoring the blond completely.

The pirate captain snorted, crossing his arms and letting himself go against the wall of the hut.

«Diez Drake was there. It wasn't a good time.»

«Dammit! I'm sure she recognized me too. What are we gonna do about it?»

«Nothing. Hawkins is also in the capital now, our presence is not a secret anymore. The marine girl is not as dangerous as him or Drake, but her Observation haki is a problem. Just lay low and be extra careful. If you get captured, die quickly without talking.»

«THAT'S TERRIBLE ADVICE!»

Law ignored Usopp, his eyes lowering on the paper in his hands, on the sketch of Eustass "Captain" Kid.

«Why did you help?»

«There are too many one-armed pirates around, lately.»

«What's your name, marine-ya?»

«I'm capt–»

...

«I'm Y/n.»

Kozuki Hyori stilled in the snow.

The battle that had unfolded in front of her shook her to her very core. Rarely in her life she had witnessed such strength, not since... her father.

«Toko,» she eased the child down «Check on samurai-san. Make sure he's alive.»

«Yes, nee-san! Ahahahah!»

The young kamuro hurried toward the samurai that saved their life, now unconscious in the snow.

Hyori turned to the other man. The assassin that had chased them to Ringo, the terrifying warrior that wanted Toko's life.

He was lying on his stomach, his blood rapidly staining the whiteness beneath him. But he was still breathing.

The woman lowered her hand on the small dagger hidden into her obi.

She couldn't allow such man to live. He was Orochi's assassin. He would come for Toko again.

Hyori took a deep breath and bared the knife.

«Nee-san?»

«Tend to the samurai's wound, Toko, stop the bleeding. Don't... don't take your eyes off him.»

«Ahahah, okay!»

Hyori tried to swallow the lump in her throat, walking up to the unconscious assassin until he was at her feet, her fingers clenching around the dagger's handle.

Then something darted towards her.

She could barely blink before a thin, sharp pain cut the skin beside her eye, stopping her in place. Hyori brushed her face then looked at her fingers, now stained in blood.

An arrow?

«This is the only warning you'll get.»

Her blue eyes flicked up.

There was a figure in the snow now, several feet away, but close enough so she could distinguish the silhouette.

It was a woman, a winged mask concealing half of her face and a green cape moving into the mild wind. She had a tall, white bow taut in her hold, and an arrow nocked in staring at Hyori right in the face.

«Step away from the man.»

Wait. Wait, she knew that mask. And the bow! She had seen it, just the night before, at Orochi's banquet!

«Please.» Hyori spoke, pointing at the assassin «This man wants to kill a mere child. She won't be safe until–»

«Do I look like someone who gives a shit?»

The sudden rage in the woman's voice startled her.

«Take your kid, take the samurai, and leave. If you do anything other than that, I am going to kill you.»

A cloud of vapor blew around the archer's mouth.

«Don't test me, woman. I'm not in a good mood.»

Hyori's eyes moved to the nocked arrow.

If the previous shot really was a warning, less than an inch short of planting steel through her brain, there was no way that archer was gonna miss.

«If this man kills Toko, her blood will be on your hands too, archer-san.»

Then she turned and hurried to the girl, each of them grabbing one arm of the samurai and dragging him away.

You waited until the trio was far into the distance before dropping the bow and launching yourself toward the fallen warrior.

Your knees dived into the blood-stained snow and you strained to push him onto his back.

«Fuck.»

His heavy body resisted against your efforts, but you eventually succeeded.

The blonde's face rolled to the side, his purple lips parted, creepy smile still lingering on his features.

You only allowed yourself a brief glance before you focused on the bleeding.

«Okay, okay, okay.»

You tore the cape away from your shoulders and used it to stop the hemorrhage, pressing it hard into his chest.

«You're fine. Hear me? You're fine.»

It seemed to work. The blood gradually slowed down.

«I swear, if this is you, I'm gonna kick your ass when you wake up. I'm gonna freak!»

You had some gauzes in your satchel, which you promptly used to dress the wound as best as you could. It wasn't easy, you had to tug his kimono down, and his body was very difficult to move. Once done, you dropped your red hands on your lap.

Your panting and the faint whistle of the wind were now the only sounds in the valley.

Finally, your eyes trailed to his bandages-covered face.

Is this really him?

You'd never seen his face before. But.

Trembling lightly, your fingers approached his jaw. Your nails hooked onto the bandage covering his chin and slowly pulled it down.

Revealing a blond, thick goatee.

Your throat clenched.

«Killer...!»

I found you.

You couldn't believe it.

I found you.

Your heart raced and you had to open your mouth, breathing fast, forehead lowering on his chest.

It was hard to piece together, being in Killer's presence again.

This was the man who put himself between you and Kid when things got unbearable. This was the man who pulled you out of freezing waters. He was also the man that would kill you the moment you tried to run, and the one that tied you to the main mast with a gag ball shoved into your mouth while your friends risked getting slaughtered.

He was the one who...

His imposing figure, his calm, the helmet forever concealing his face flashed in your head.

«What happened to you?»

A cold alarm went off in your head.

Enemies. Far but approaching.

You raised your face and scanned the horizon.

Snow had started to fall, wind intensified. Maybe a storm coming. It was hard to see far ahead with the color of the valley merging into the sky.

The chest beneath you trembled, a rattling cough shaking the warrior.

You retracted to a crouching position, eyes darting on his figure.

His brows wrinkled in a pained grimace, a growl reverberating into his throat before escaping as a rasp laugh.

You frowned.

«Killer?»

«What... are you doing... here.»

He opened his eyes, the smile widening on his bloodied lips, his blue irises rising to you.

«Why... are you... here.»

So he recognizes me.

He gritted his teeth, almost as if he was trying to suppress the sneer rattling into his throat.

You were breathing quickly, your mind attempting to grasp the situation, but too many things didn't make sense, so you decided to focus on the most pressing matter.

«Killer, we need to get out of here.» you murmured, swiftly turning to locate the bow «Someone's coming, and they're hostile.»

The blonde coughed, and the cough turned into a hoarse cackle, again, his fist clenching into the snow.

What the fuck is going on?

But there was no time to sit down and talk, every second the enemy was closer.

«We need to go, now! Can you walk?»

You jumped to your feet and picked up the bow, then hurried back to his side and grabbed a hold of his kimono, trying to pull him up.

His icy eyes flicked on you, his hand immediately clenching around your arm and whipping you down into the snow with a strength you couldn't resist.

You landed into the frost, instinctively bringing your arms up to protect your head.

«WHA– What the fuck are you doing?!»

You tore the mask off your face and jolted back up.

«I'm Y/n, you idiot! We must–»

«I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!»

Before you could do anything, he grabbed your jaw and slammed you back down. The manic laughter echoed in your ears.

You snarled, nails clawing at his hand but he didn't let go, pressing your head into the snow. You felt his face near yours.

«You are the trash we left behind.»

Your eyes widened in his grasp.

His mad gaze was hardly distinguishable between his fingers obscuring your vision, but a smile of sick pleasure distorted his features.

«FAFAFAFAFAFA! Why did you come here? Do you think we need you?»

The man threw you away from him, and you rolled into the ground by your bow.

Free from his hold, your hands wiped away the hair sticking to your reddened face, clumsily moving to rise on your four.

«K-Killer, what the–»

«Get the fuck out of here, Y/n.»

He stood, using one of the scythes as a support.

«Fafafafafa! If we wanted you, we would've kept you. Fafa...! Now scram.»

You kneeled, shaking violently. Between the adrenalin running wild in your veins and the snow covering your face, you couldn't tell if there were tears in your eyes.

«B-But I...»

«GO AWAY!»

He tossed your cape at your feet with rage before another fit of laughter shook his whole figure. His fingers whitened onto the handle of the scythe, and he struggled to stop before his psychotic eyes settled on you.

«Look at you. You're like a pathetic puppy that frantically shuffles after the boot that kicked it.»

The liquid on your cheeks was warm now, the only warmth you could feel. Everything was blurred. Your brain was so frozen you almost missed the black figures appearing up the hill, in the distance.

You tried to stand on your shaky legs.

«T-They are here, they...»

«LEAVE!»

He swung at you.

The scythe cut the air inches from your chest. You jumped back to avoid it, stumbled, and landed into the snow.

«FAFAFAFA! GET THE FUCK AWAY, Y/N! DON'T EVER SHOW YOUR FACE HERE AGAIN!»

You could hardly see anything. Your hand groped around in the bitter cold until it met the bow. You grabbed it, stagger back on your feet, and ran away without turning back, the mad laugh echoing behind you.

«It's... quite cold here, isn't it?»

Aokiji lifted his sleep mask with his thumb, revealing an eye to glance at your small figure.

Huddled in a corner of the cave, you were trembling lightly, stubborn gaze fixed on the ground, rifle against your shoulder. Outside, the blizzard was raging.

It was one of your first missions together, one of the few he had taken with someone else for a long time. Sometimes he forgot people were not immune to cold.

«Right. You should light a fire.»

You grimaced.

«Nah, it's not too bad, I'm fine.»

Aokiji looked you up and down.

«We are staying here for the night. You'll end up freezing.»

«I'm fine.» you hissed.

He paused.

«You know how to light a fire, right?»

You clicked your tongue in frustration, still refusing to look at him.

«I thought recruits learned survival basics first.»

«We did.» you snapped «I just...! I wasn't very good at it.»

«Mh.»

After a few seconds, he pulled his mask off and stood. The narrow space didn't allow him to rise to his full height, so he had to keep his head low.

«First, you gather something flammable to make a tinder nest.»

Aokiji ripped off some dry shrub sticking from the wall of the cave.

«Leave it, sensei.» you kicked a rock «I won't learn anyway.»

«You were just not taught well enough.»

«The other recruits seemed fine.»

Another great memory from your first year. Your fire was the only one of the squad consistently remaining unlit, for the mocking joy of the others.

Aokiji dropped a bunch of twigs in front of you.

«Not everyone responds to the same pace or method. Try now.»

You pressed your lips together.

«It won't work.»

«Then we'll see what you do wrong.»

«Probably everything.» you grumbled, crossing your arms.

«Y/n,» Aokiji sighed, crouching down to your height «Do you know why, out of all the promising young marines, I asked for you?»

Your eyes flicked on his, sharp, a strange spark lighting them.

«Because you had to.» you whispered «You're the one who brought me to the Marines. So now that turns out I'm good at nothing, you have to take care of me personally.»

Aokiji blinked. Then laughed.

Your eyes widened. You never heard his laugh before.

«You really are something, Y/n.» he smiled, resting his face onto his palm «I "have" to? One of the perks of being an Admiral is that I can do whatever I want. Well, more or less. I certainly don't "have" to take care of you.»

You frowned.

«So, why...?»

«I'll prove it by saying something I shouldn't say.» he snapped a twig in half and pointed it at you «Of all the recruits of your year, you are the only one that has the ability to make a difference in the future.»

You straightened against the wall of the cave, shocked. Sneaky tears prickled at the corners of your eyes but you blinked them back.

«Me?»

«Do you trust me?»

He waited for you to nod, then dropped the twig in the pile.

«Now show me how to light a fire.»

You lay on your back, eyes fixed on the rotting wood of the ceiling.

The snowstorm was sweeping the valley, all around the abandoned temple, filling the tiny space with creaks and noises.

The tears had frozen on your face. The cold penetrated into you, down to your bones, but you hardly felt it. You hardly felt anything.

Your fingers twitched, the frost gradually locking every joint in your body. Your kimono was thin, the miserable cape crumpled by your side.

You knew you were going to freeze to death if you didn't move. But.

Would it really be so bad?

All you saw was the dark, ruined ceiling.

It was inviting, the cold. A sweet numb that could slowly wrap its vines around you, cradle you, lulling you to sleep.

I just have to close my eyes.

The wind whistled against the temple.

Just for a second.

No one knew where you were anyway. No one would even look for you. Nothing would change if you just rested for a second.

Just for a second.

You closed your eyes and fell asleep.

«Wake up, birdie.»

Aokiji's face, blurred, but his dark skin, his black curls, his idle gaze.

«Do you trust me, Y/n?»

You tried to blink. Everything was out of focus.

«Sensei, why would I be the only one to make the difference?»

You were into the cave again, young, rifle on your shoulder, the red fire crackling at your feet.

Aokiji moved the wood around with a stick.

«You mean aside your frightening aim?»

You smiled.

«Yeah.»

«Because you're always convinced to be the weakest in the room,» he handed you the twig «And yet you always stand.»

«Do you trust me, Y/n?»

«I can use someone with your skills.»

«I wouldn't have minded being your brother.»

«What are you talking about? You weren't much older than me, and still you were already there, at Marineford, and assholes wouldn't screw with you. You looked so strong! And kind. You stopped just to help me, didn't you?»

«How repulsive...» smile «Except you. You're fine-dabe.»

«Y/n. You're so much more than enough and you're the only person on this ship who doesn't know that.»

«Wake up, birdie.»

You gritted your teeth, blinking continuously, trying to focus your sight.

«Whatever happens, trust me on this one.»

«Do you trust me?»

You revived the fire, the one you lit under his guidance.

«Honestly, sensei, being the weakest and standing up doesn't sound very smart. Probably gonna get me killed soon, and then bye bye difference for the future.»

«You look a little too stubborn to die that easily.»

«Eh. I'm not that stubborn.»

He shrugged.

«If you die, you die, and not much will change. But if you live.» smile «Maybe something will change.»

...

«Do you trust me?»

«Fine, YES!» you spat, shutting your blurry eyes «Yes, yes, I trust you sensei, and fuck you!»

Smile.

«Then wake up.»

«Wake up, birdie.»

Your eyes snapped open and you sucked in a raspy breath.

Everything hurt terribly. You attempted to clench your fingers and the pain shot up your arm and into your body, waking up your muscles, doubling the agony. You began shaking uncontrollably.

«Fuck. Shit. Fuck.»

Fighting your hardest against the horrible cramps, your rolled on your stomach and grasped the cape, throwing it over your shoulders.

Damn, it was frozen too.

«Now show me how to light a fire.»

Every inch of your body spasmed in protest, but you forced it to work, crawling around the dark space, gathering broken wood.

«I fucking hate the cold. I hate this world. I hate everyone.»

You loosened the bowstring and twisted it around a piece of wood to be used as a spindle. It took a while to gain enough strength and friction to get some actual sparks, but the fire eventually took up.

You crouched as close as possible, tugging the cape around you and shaking violently.

It took the best part of an hour for your temperature to reach comfortable levels. You stopped trembling, your swollen eyes stayed glued to the fire.

«Whatever happens, trust me on this one.»

Two tears rolled down your cheeks.

«I'm trying, sensei, I'm trying.»

You rubbed them away.

«But whatever I do is wrong.»

You wanted me to be independent, you wanted me to make my own choices, but I only ever mess up.

Your face dropped on your knees. You wrapped your arms around your head.

«I wish you were here.»

The fire crackled in the solitary temple. The wind whistled outside.

«Look at you. You're like a pathetic puppy that frantically shuffles after the boot that kicked it.»

A surge of rage pumped through your veins.

«Well, SORRY FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE!» you yelled, jumping up and throwing the cape in the fire in a fit of anger.

You kicked more wood into the flames with a scream, then you kicked the quiver aside, then you kicked the wall.

«SORRY FOR BEING PATHETIC! SORRY FOR BEING BORN WEAK IN A STRONG WORLD!»

Your foot hurt, so you switched to punches. You punched the rotting beams, ignoring all the cuts and splinters piercing your skin.

«AND IF I COULD MEET MY FUCKING PARENTS, I WOULD PUNCH THEM TOO! AND YOU SENSEI! AND KILLER! AND EUSTASS FUCKING KID!»

The beams cracked, then broke, the wind raging fiercely inside from the hole in the wall.

You slid on your knees, observing the bleeding knuckles on your lap.

«And yet you always stand.»

You remained in that position, motionless, until the storm simmered down.

Then you difficultly rose to your feet, collected your stuff, and walked out.

«Now show me how to light a fire.»