'The first step is always the hardest."

Soo-Ah's POV

My eyes cracked open and as the light entered my vision, I felt like someone was shoving tiny needles through my eyes, as I almost groaned out at the sharp pain on various ends of my head.

The second I was fully conscious, I felt an arm snaked around mine, and as a hot knife through a slab of butter, I remembered what exactly had happened.

I had bonded. With Kim Taehyung. As much as I hated it, I was bonded. I didn't want to live with it. But also, I knew I couldn't live without it.

Why me? Why me of all people? I was so happy being by myself, then why did this have to happen to me? I didn't even believe in soulmates. Not until my own best friend was bonded. And now, here I was with a soulmate of my own?

That to the visual of the biggest boyband in the world? Someone who hated attention and someone who was the constant centre of attention, wherever he went. Destiny must be joking with us!

Just when I was about to pick myself up from the incredibly soft bed, which I could only assume belong to my soulmate, I heard him sniff and pull up his phone.

Even though I knew it was totally rude for me to eavesdrop but I really couldn't think of anything else to do at the moment, since he and I were attached to the soulmate healing.

"Sweetheart! How are you?" That was his mom! And the next second, I heard Kim Taehyung choke out a sob, making my heart feel tight.

Why...Why was he crying? Is he not happy with this bond? Or does he have a girlfriend? What in the world is going on?

"Taehyung-ah, baby bear, what's wrong?" She asked, her voice soft but, anyone could hear the panic in her voice. My heart melted at her calling her 23-year-old son, baby bear.

No matter how old, how famous and whatnot he was; he was still gonna be his parents' baby bear.

"Eomma, I am soulmate bonded." He sobbed, unable to keep his emotions at bay. Did he also not want it like me?

"Bear, that's great news! Why are crying? Is something wrong? Are you not happy?" She tried to make her voice cheerful but she was a mother after all. She would know that something was not right with her child.

"No Eomma! I'm not unhappy but she doesn't want a soulmate. She never intended on finding a soulmate. I don't know what to do, Eomma. I'm soo scared."

Her words stopped and so did my heart. How in the world could I forget? He knew! Oh my God, he knew I never wanted a soulmate! And he feels unwanted. And I am the reason why.

"Baby bear, are you okay? Is she okay?" Her asking about me made me feel warm in my heart. Like she cared for me, even though she hadn't ever seen me. "I'm fine Eomma. She passed out after the bruises appeared. She's sleeping." Now that made me blush.

"Listen, baby, I understand that it's gonna be tough but I'm sure you both will be able to work it out. After all, soulmates are made for a reason."

I couldn't keep on listening more, since it felt too personal so I shifted, and automatically a soft groan left my lips as I tried to put my body weight on my bond arm.

I chose to avoid the whispered "I'll call you later,"  from his side as he tossed his phone away to turn his form towards me.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw his puffy eyes, dishevelled hair, and soft sleepy face. I felt my heart swaying but I screwed my eyes shut, reprimanding myself.

I cannot fall for someone. I've seen what this bond does to people first-hand. I don't want to hurt myself.

"Here!" I heard the soft voice of my best friend as I sat on the balcony. Taehyung was back in his room, napping. And I needed a breather, from all this mess. I took the cup of black coffee from her hand, sipping to watch her lean against the railing beside me, sipping her latte.

That's how different we were. One wanted no milk in their coffee while the other needed extra milk on it.

But even then we are best friends. From day 1 us meeting each other.

"You okay?" She asked, without looking at me. I could now feel how she was feeling. How she felt. When she found out she was balled and chained to someone for the rest of her life.

But did she feel that way? Trapped? Hesitant? Or was I the odd one?

"Stop racking your mind and tell me what's bothering you?" I looked up at her and raised my eyebrow. "Your feet. It's going crazy."

See? That's what I meant about her knowing me too well. She could read my actions and understand that something was bothering me.

"I don't know what to do! I'm just soo confused! He doesn't deserve this! I'm barely able to handle my mess and now this? My job, his job! How will we ever get through this?! And I'm not even sure how to deal with this! You know me Mishil! It's just not me. I never wanted this." "And you not wanting this makes a difference?"

One sentence from her and I shut up! Why would it make a difference? It was just my wish and my reluctance. Why was that going to be taken into account by the universe?

"Soo-Ah, if things we didn't want to happen never happened, then neither you nor you would be here. It's not up to us. We have no say in this. But you do have a say in how this bond works. You can try and make this whole bond work with Taehyung. But if that's all you want, tell him. Not all soulmates end up as lovers. They remain friends, stay together, and even get married. But they never fall in love. That's their choice. No one is asking you to swear yourself to Taehyung. This ain't the end of your life. But I'd like to tell you one thing, Soo-Ah. Don't break his heart. If you don't intend on falling in love, don't make him fall in love with you as well. Just frankly tell him your limits. I'm sure he'll understand."

With that, she looked back at the scenery outside. I pondered on her words and she let me. She knew I needed time to take in that much information. Suddenly a beep sounded from the fit bit on her wrist.

"That's my call." She smiled softly, silencing the beep, and then tilted her to the inside of the house, asking me if I was gonna go in. I shook my head and said, "I'll be here for a few more minutes."

She smiled and ruffled my hair softly before leaving me alone. I turned to see Namjoon, dressed in his loose shirt and sweat pants walking into the living room. His cheekbones rose at the sight of her, even though his eyes were tired. I couldn't see Mishil but I'm pretty sure she was smiling the same smile, with a slight pinkish hue on her cheeks.

My heart swelled at their sight. They had a hard bond. Mishil struggling at the weaker end and Namjoon was struggling with emotions. Handling both his and hers.

They were making it work. So why couldn't we? Because I didn't want to? But since when did this world revolve around me and my wishes?

Letting my hands fall off the railing, I walked back to the house. I didn't know what I was gonna do. But at least I was not alone in it.

When I saw him curled into a ball on the bed, slightly shivering, I understood that he needed healing.

With some hesitance, I brushed the hair off his face. Just staring at his face for a few seconds.

Letting it sink in; the fact that Kim Taehyung is my soulmate. I softly laced his fingers with mine before whispering somewhat to myself and somewhat to his sleeping form.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to fall in love with you. But if it had to be anyone, I'm glad that it's you, Taehyung. I'll try to make this work." And I meant that.

Hello, hello, hello my beautiful babies!

It has been waaaaay too long and I have missed this place, this book and most importantly you guys!

It's been a hectic couple of months, and my laptop just died and regenerated.

But the point here is I'm back to updating.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Anyway, expect one update each day for at least this week since I feel like I should spoil you guys, at least a bit.

Even though my update schedule wouldn't be as active as before since I still have exams to sit for, I promise!

I'll update at least 2 stories each week!

Anyway, I'm back and I love you all soo much!

Until the next update...

Bai Bai

Borahae

Fay