"Hey, Hikigaya-kun."

Yukino tugged the end of my sleeve ever so slightly as the water ride was about to reach its climax of dropping down into a pool of water below. The night skies were illuminated by the translucent lights of the theme park as the winter winds of the season blew into our faces in a refreshing manner. However, I was too busy trying to grasp what could possibly be going on in Yukino's mind right now.

"Hmm?"

The boat reached the end of the waterfall and froze. The winds halted. Time seemed to have frozen for that particular moment as Yukino and I sat in the ride side by side. The cold didn't bother me much anymore as I became more and more aware of the girl beside me at this very instant. What in the world could she want?

"Please... rescue me someday, okay?"

The clock started to move its hands as the ride began to speed up as it neared the edge of the waterfall. Yukino's hair fluttered in the wind while her eyes moistened slightly as our moment together was reaching its end. I could only stare back helplessly into her eyes as I struggled to find an answer for her hopes. The two of us fell as the boat went down the waterfall. I never got to answer her then.

However, we are on the roof of our school while the sun was setting. Once again, the two of us were alone, and I still haven't come up with an answer to Yukino's hopes. I looked into her eyes and saw a tinge of regret flicker as she put up her arrogant facade that she always shows to the outside world. Inside, she is most likely feeling disappointment from getting her hopes so high up. It was a dream that turned out to betray her in the end. The dream where I will come in and save her from her sorrows has dissolved into the air.

Hard work betrays none while dreams betray many. However, it will be naïve of me to think that I can justify my own actions while Yukino's hope diminishes. My hard work will simply not be enough to be satisfactory in achieving what Yukino desires. In the end, it turns out I can only tell it to her directly that I am not capable of doing it.

I started moving towards her. I began admiring the beauty who has the most twisted obsession of "guiding the lost sheep" to the right place for once. This so-called "Cruel, Ice Queen" is nothing but a front. It is a shell of protection that prevents the inner Yukino from realizing how vain her ideals are. Since I am not capable of fulfilling these dreams of hers myself, I decide to tell her that I am not capable of saving her. The princess of the castle guarded by a dragon cannot be saved by a mere hero. Not that I was a hero in the first place. I am going to tell her, "I can't." That's that. Before we even talk, I dive into my memories of the last weekend I spent with Yukino in order to figure out a way to answer her with my own denial. I fully intend on denying her to prevent letting her hopes get up for no reason.

A few days ago, Yukino and I were walking around shopping district. If you asked me if a lone bear like myself would ever join the school's prettiest girl for a walk in the mall, I would have rolled my eyes and claim that it was the lie of youth.

Youth is a hoax. It's evil. People who make a big deal of their "youth", are just inviting trouble. They try to keep everything going on around them. For them, if there's something that has to do with their "youth", they jump at it without a second thought. From normal daily life, to rebelling against the view of society. If you fall in with them – lies, secrets, failure, and even crimes await you. But for them, it's just a spice of life. And if failure is also a mark of "youth", then isn't it ironic, that a person who failed to make any friends, is also technically leading his "youth"? Though I wonder if they would agree. Everything runs on their schedule. Let me be clear. The people who enjoy their "youth", will eventually fall apart.

Therefore, people look so much better when they are alone. Once alone, without anyone else to impose upon their ideals, people can show their true nature. In our society, every other person is influenced by another person or group and change as a result of how that particular individual or collective body views them. At some point, the mass of people trying to become someone else will produce the most fake person possible- a perfect being that embodies all the ideals of that group. That's not even a human anymore. Hence, no matter how the world sees me, I will not change just because the world tells me to. Saying "I can change myself" is just admitting defeat in order to adapt to this cold cruel world, so that you can be its slave.  It's no more than a basis for deceiving yourself and decorating it with pretty words.

However, after meeting the Ice-cold Beauty Yukino, I could see why it was so tempting to fall victim to youth. Things were fairly rough at first as we both hated each others' guts. I detested how she originally saw herself as some sort of grand messiah who blindly believed it was her ultimate goal to lead the other blind fools to paradise. That twisted sense of nobleness oblige was extremely annoying at first. Meanwhile, she hated how I thought all people were trash and that it couldn't be helped. Over time, perhaps thanks to Yuigahama, the two of us managed to reach some sort of understanding for one another.

Last weekend's shopping trip was fruit of that understanding. In a sense, it was a mutual acknowledgment of each other's methodology and ideology. Recently, I've been seeing her smile a lot. I couldn't understand the context behind each smile until today, as we stand on the roof of the school together.

Even then, she was smiling as the two of us bickered in the shopping center. At that point, I truly thought I found something genuine in life. Of all the smiles I had seen, perhaps the one Yukino was showing me then was one of the most genuine. If I met Yukino three... maybe four years earlier, I would have fallen madly in love with her. However, right now, I am now a veteran of misunderstanding the intentions and feelings of others. That smile, no matter how I see it, could possibly be fake. But still...

I wanted to believe that it was real.

And I wanted to see it again.

Back to the present, I am still struggling to find my words while my brain is running on a short circuit. Right now, I have a feeling about what Yukino wants to tell me from the bottom of her heart. Unfortunately, this genuine feeling of hers is not something that I can fully accept. I am a loner after all. Once a loner, always a loner, but I do not wish to destroy the current relationship the two of us have right now.

Fake people have an image to maintain. Real people just don't care. However, the sentiments presently residing inside of me cares very much about the situation.

"Hey... Yukino."

I ball my hands into fists as I continue to strive towards keeping our relationship the same. Unchanging. Stagnant. Constant.

"What is it, Hikigaya-kun?" Yukino asked. Once again, I am able to see how graceful this girl is as her hair floated in the air as she turns to face me.

"Can we be friends?" I earnestly ask her that single question while the sun nears the end of its journey. This will mark the third time I've asked Yukino this question. I have a feeling that this is not the type of question that Yukino wants to hear, but my feelings will not allow anything else. That question was a lie, but my heart was placed behind those words. Of course, I knew the answer will end up being the same.

Yukino turns with an expression of shock written across her face. The beautiful features defining her contorted as she grimaces upon thinking about her reply.

"Theoretically, it is possible for us to become friends Hikigaya. But I don't want to."

"Why?" I ask. Another lie.

"And here I was sure you'd understand..."