There in his kitchen, Izuku watched as the bloodied water flowed from his hands down into the drain. He was mesmerized by the crimson whirlpool he barely noticed the presence next to him until a clear, sickeningly sweet voice rang out.

"What ever happened to wanting to be a hero?"

Taken aback Izuku turned and there he saw a carbon copy of his younger self dressed in his middle school uniform sitting on the window sill swinging his legs. His eyes wide and innocent despite watching Izuku wipe the remaining blood on his hands away with a dish rag.

"Go away, Deku."

Seeing his younger self-wasn't an uncommon occurrence for Izuku and he decided weeks ago to refer to him as his childhood nickname and current villain alias.

Izuku walked out of the kitchen in his cramped three room apartment into the living room. He fell onto the couch facing the ceiling and brought up a hand to loosen his necktie.

"No!" Izuku sat up and stared at Deku, he never rose his voice. "Look at you! You come home covered in blood every night and you haven't had a conversation with anyone in years!"

"I talked to Toga yesterday. Isn't that enough?" Izuku took off his tie completely and threw it on the wooden coffee table, his black vest following soon after.

"It doesn't count when all you were asking is if they had any jobs for you!" Deku was standing in front of Izuku now and the older could see the clear look of fury etched into the younger's features.

Izuku sighed and laid down on his side facing the back of the couch and closed his eyes so he didn't have to look at Deku. He's heard his spiel too many times to count and he was beginning to sound like a broken record spouting the same nonsense over and over again.

"Don't you wanna see your mom?" Izuku stiffened, his mother's never been brought up in prior conversations. "Or Shouto?"

With those words, Izuku's eyes shot open and he standing in front of Deku with clenched fists and a clenched jaw. "Don't you dare say his name, bastard!"

"Why? Because you gave up the love of your life to become some monster?" Deku and Izuku were the same height but in that moment Izuku felt small and wanted nothing more than to be the bigger person.

So he pushed him.

He pushed Deku to the floor and straddled his stomach, pinning his arms down with his knees. He drew back his fists and punched him until he saw blood come out of his mouth and flow from his nose.

"I'm not the monster, everyone else is! You don't know anything about me!" Izuku shook Deku and only then did he feel the tears falling from his eyes.

"I know everything because I'm you!" Deku turned his head spit up a small glob of blood.

"Not anymore!"Izuku yelled as he took Deku's head in his hands and twisted until he heard the heard the cracking of bones he usually found pleasurable, but this time he found it hard to stomach.

He sat there for a while looking down at the lifeless body below him and wondered if this is what he would've looked like if he had just taken Katsuki's advice and swan dived off the roof. He would've been spared so much extra suffering.

That night Izuku sat in the shower and let the water wash away the blood he knew wasn't really there but he could feel seeping into his skin like poison. He also wondered for the first time in years what Shouto was doing at that moment. Probably sleeping, his brain supplied uselessly.

Izuku doesn't know when he falls asleep but he finds himself laying naked in a shallow body of water that stretches on seemingly forever. He sits up and sees Deku sitting across from him with his legs tucked under him.

"You know you can't really kill me right?" Deku asked looking at Izuku with his big, innocent eyes.

"Yeah." Izuku wondered the exact second that innocence was drained away to become the dark empty shells they are now.

"I think you should turn yourself in." Deku watches Izuku look at his lap and wrap his arms tightly around himself.

"I'm scared." Izuku tightens his hold on himself as his voice wavers.

"I know," Deku replies softly as he puts a gentle hand on Izuku's ankle.

Thinking about what was to come when he woke up caused fresh tears to spring to his eyes and he let himself weep in the presence of his guilty subconscious until he woke up to cold water spraying down on him from the shower head.

When Izuku stepped out of the shower he saw Deku sitting on the counter with a small knowing smile. "Hey, maybe you'll do better in the next life."

"Maybe."

>< >< ><

Izuku woke up in the strong, warm embrace of his fiancé Shouto and a lazy smile formed on his lips as Shouto's arms tightened when Izuku tried to get out of bed.

After a few minutes, Izuku was able to pry Shouto's arms off of him and sit on the bed with his legs hanging off the side. He stretched his arms before Shouto found his way back to him and made a home in the crook of Izuku's neck.

"I have to go to work you big koala." Izuku tries not to sink into Shouto's chest but with the warmth he's radiating it's impossible not to.

"It's not fair those stupid kids get to see you more than I do during the day," Shouto mumbles sleepily.

"Hey, those are my students you're talking about, only I'm allowed to make fun of then," Izuku laughs as he lightly hits Shouto's arm.

"I'm still sleeping so you can't hold me to anything I say right now." Shouto pulls Izuku back down to lay in bed.

"I love you, you dork." Izuku presses a kiss to Shouto's palm.

"I love you too, Bunny." Shouto snuggles closer into Izuku's neck.

Izuku ends up calling in sick to work that day as well as Shouto and they never leave the bed.

A/N - Sorry, It's kind of half-assed.