I'm dying of laughter. In this fanfiction, and Light's mom was the leader of a gang in her younger years, but she mellowed out, and her and Soichiro are telling the story of how they met and this is literally the conversation and it is now my headcanon for Light's parents XD

Sachiko: I never told you kids how I met your father. It was 1979 and I had...bad experiences with men. I joined the gang for protection but somehow ended up in charge of it. We were out after school and this young officer surprised us.

Soichiro: I was a rookie, sent in to investigate gangs in the area. I was a hothead. I didn't think things through or how I would appear to these young ladies...

Sachiko: The others got scared and ran, he trapped me in an alley. I got scared... so I hit him with my Kiss lunchbox. Now, remember, this was before lunch boxes were plastic and safe, they were metal and had sharp edges... there was so much blood...

Soichiro: *grimace* it wasn't that bad.

Sachiko: you had to get five stitches, dear. I could have killed you.