Ysichuan, the state I had called home for the past five years, was truly beautiful. With my back nestled against the soft cushion of the recliner- ah, the sweet comforts of traveling in first class!- I watched gorgeous views of the swiftly passing pine-covered peaks, glimmering lakes, and plains adorned with small and large establishments selling everything from winter wear to ice candies (did people actually eat them in winter?), I wondered, 'how did I not notice it before now?'

"Zhao ge, what are you thinking about?" The boy who was presently disguised as a fair maiden, with his eyes closed and head resting on my shoulder, asked in a sleep-soaked voice.

After the first two days of being called 'Laoshi' by the boy, I had suggested that if he liked, he could address me as Zhao-ge instead of Zhao Laoshi. The term laoshi was more formal and used more often while addressing relatively old strangers/acquaintances. Neither did I feel old, nor did I think of Junjun as a stranger after getting to know him closely, and it made sense for him to call me intimately...I mean informally. It had absolutely nothing to do with how my vanity used to take a teeny-tiny hit every time he called me laoshi.

Anyway, he had agreed right away like he was thinking of suggesting the same but was holding himself back. His reluctance may have had something to do with how he had suspected me for almost twenty-four hours before finally letting his guard down completely.

I was glad to have witnessed what Junjun hardly let anyone see: his true self.

The more I got to know him, the more attached I grew to him. He was so unforgivingly truthful, vulnerable yet strong, unsure yet firm in his beliefs that it left me mesmerized most of the time.

"I can truly be myself around you. That is what I crave most, and that's what you have given me. No amount of money can buy that, Zhao ge. So, just relax and enjoy the trips, alright?" Junjun had confessed a couple of days ago after noticing my reluctance to travel in first class with him while visiting places in and around Ysichuan.

It was not that I hadn't accompanied my clients when they were under my protection. My reluctance stemmed from the fact that Junjun had sneakily made me reveal my 'to-visit' places in and around Ysichuan, and calling it his list, the boy had taken me around to visit the said places.

Subsequently, after hearing his reasoning, I had let go of my apprehensions about the matter and started enjoying the pleasure money could buy. It had its perks. For instance, it was much easier to spot someone tailing us in first class than in economy one. It provided more privacy and was definitely more secure as well.

"I am thinking about how I will miss this comfort that you have gotten me used to when you leave," I replied truthfully, maybe, a tab too much for his liking.

I earned a hard punch on my shoulder and winced, rubbing the not-sore spot. "Well, that's the truth." I teased and watched his frown deepen. The bulk he seemed to have put on had dissolved like salt in water barely a few minutes after I had noticed it!

Since it had not recurred, I had attributed it to my imagination. Moreover, things were going great with Junjun. He seemed to be enjoying himself. He looked healthier as well. I did not want to bring up a possible figment of my imagination and mess up the equation between us.

"No need to be so truthful. Just lie sometimes, will you?" He retorted irritably and turned his head away.
Dressed in a pale blue satin top that covered his prominent Adam's apple, gray dress pants with burgundy goggles covering half his face, lined with inky black wavy hair tied up in a loose pony at the base of his neck, he should have looked ridiculous.

He didn't. He looked gorgeous. Over the past three out of four days, I had made him wear everything from regular clothes to fancy ones, and he had pulled off each look effortlessly.
It was like magic.

Maybe he trained for it, or it was a conspiracy to make ordinary people like us want to strive for perfection. 

I couldn't hold my chuckle anymore and admitted, "I was joking. I was not thinking about anything for a change. In my line of work, these moments of peace are hard to come by. I am just living this moment to the fullest. Thank you for giving me this chance."

"Stop thanking me!" He punched me again with more force than before. This time it hurt.

It had to be one of two things: Junjun had grown strong, or I had become weaker. Those were the only explanations I could come up with.

'It's the first option, Zhao Laoshi. Just admit it. The boy looks skinny, but his arm strength is undeniable. I reckon he can carry you bridal style for miles without breaking a sweat.' The Bastard voiced his unwelcome thought.

I groaned internally and puffed my chest. I was a manly man who felt no pain.

The Bastard guffawed, and like I had been doing lately, I paid him no heed.
My sore shoulder begged for attention or a balm to elevate its misery; I ignored it and jested, "Have mercy on this old man. If you keep hitting me, I won't be able to chauffeur you around."

"Then don't drive me around. We can ask gege to send-" Junjun left the sentence hanging. His mood, just like my arm, turned sore.

"How about we hang out at home? We can do whatever you want. We can pull an all-nighter." I offered, wanting to snap him out of his disheartening musings.

Three days ago, I had brought to the idol's attention that there was no news about his trip to Ysichuan or his subsequent disappearance on social media or otherwise.

Junjun had just shrugged it off, explaining that he had left a note at his dorm explaining to his manager that he was going to a safe place and would return after a much-needed break.

"My agency only cares about making money. It's in their favor if they don't publicize my disappearance." The idol had elaborated.

Wanting for the brothers to talk, I had pointed out that fleeing unannounced had probably worried his family, and realizing his error, Junjun had reluctantly agreed to call his brother from a payphone near Ysichuan station.

To say that the talk had gone swimmingly would be a blatant lie, and commenting that it would have been better if they hadn't spoken at all would be an understatement.

Haoyu had yelled at his brother for not informing him of his whereabouts before threatening him, "You know it's not safe for you out there. If you don't come home right now, I will make sure ZZH entertainment drops you like a hot potato!"

However, even this threat had not worked on the youngster, who looked devastated but had stood his ground and asserted, "I will be back before 26th midnight. Trust me. And if you don't, go ahead and do what you want."

"What's come over you!? You know I can find you if I put my heart into it, don't you?"

"I know. But I won't stop trying to get away. You know me, Gege. You know what I am capable of."

With those words, Junjun had disconnected the call.

That night I had requested laoban to let his brother be, but it had proven fruitless, like pouring water over an upside-down pail. No reason I gave was enough. As a last resort, I brought out the big guns. "If you don't cooperate, I will tell him who I am. That will kill any chance of him returning home by the 26th, don't you think?"

That threat had worked like a charm, and Sweetheart had backed off.
Nonetheless, the damage was done.

Even though Junjun's 'idol-life' involved doing things he would not do, given a choice, it was clear that he loved being able to sing and dance in front of millions. He loved rap and was exceptionally good at it. He deserved to be an idol; more importantly, he wanted to keep being one. Haoyu's threat had made him insecure about his future, and despite me trying to convince him that his gege would never do anything to jeopardize his career, the boy just couldn't let it go.

"Ya, we can do that." Junjun's mono-lids crinkled, and he smiled weakly, "Just three more days to go," his lips took a downturn, and he averaged his eyes, "I wish things were different."

"How so?"

"I wish I could be myself in front of my fans. They love me. But they don't know me." The boy tapped his heart. "But Gege says that it's for the best if I am serious about continuing my career as a performer."

The man-child refused to look at me as he poured his heart out; I had observed that he did that whenever he was talking about his idol life.

"That doesn't make any sense." I shook my head and watched him shrug. I sincerely wished at that moment that I could look into his eyes. They definitely were windows to his soul: alas, they were hiding behind his oversized goggles. "Anyway, what else do you wish for? I am sure being yourself in front of your fans isn't the only thing you want."

"I want the freedom to fall in love." He turned towards me and took off his glasses. His intense mono-lids zeroed in on me. "I want to choose who I want to love and who I want to spend the rest of my life with."

It was at this precise moment that my thinking capability left me. My heart tripped over itself for reasons unknown; for a few unbearably long seconds, the boy's dark soulful orbs held me captive.

A split second later, though, he flicked me between my brows, breaking the spell he had cast on my person, and laughed.

What the fuck was that?

Reprimanding my misbehaving heart, I joined Junjun in his laugh fest. The boy was obviously kidding. From what I had observed, the Huangs were pretty chill people. There was no reason Junjun couldn't choose who he wanted to be with, right?

I side-eyed my charge, who was, at the moment, was stuffing his mouth with a chicken sandwich. He looked relaxed and seemed to be enjoying himself. The goggles were back on, so there was no way for me to know his heart.

By the time we reached home, Junjun was so exhausted that we skipped dinner, and after freshening up, he headed straight to Ai-Jiejie's place.
I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Did he look paler?

Was he coming down with something?

Did he suspect that I was lying to him?

I couldn't think straight. Cross that, I couldn't think at all! The words he had said, coupled with how he had looked while he had spoken them, felt like a confession.

'You are overthinking it, Zhao Laoshi. The boy obviously can't be interested in you. He is just charming, is all. You better guard your heart, or there will be trouble.' The Bastard suggested.
This time we were in agreement. Feelings complicated relationships. We were friends, Junjun and I, which was already more than I could ever hope for.

My resolve to think straight, pun intended, didn't dare to visit me, and sleep eluded me as the boy's words kept swirling in my brain, throwing scenarios that could never come to pass at me.

After trying for a whole hour, I gave up and decided to check the surveillance footage from the past two days instead. Except, before I could act on it, I heard a sound of glass shattering, closely followed by a high-pitched scream from downstairs.

Ai-Jiejie!

JUNJUN!

[Chapter word count: 2035
Word count so far: 16124]