April 2011

ZOE

That one word, in his low, gravelly voice, sends my pulse scattering around my body. It's him. Here. Outside my flat. In Spain.

Emerald eyes cling to mine, just as intense as I remember. In that short moment, nothing has changed. A deluge of shared history passes between us. Ben's funeral. Our first kiss. Mark punching JJ. Meals with my parents. The blow job on the Tube.

Each memory pummels into me thick and fast. Assaulting me. Torturing me. Soothing me.

I'd shut the feelings away. Buried the past. Tried to ignore the hole in my heart. But now it rips open again and bleeds into my lungs until I can barely breath.

Freeing me of his suffocating eye contact, Mark's gaze drops to my hand that's holding open the door. Colour drains from his face as he fixates on it for several long, silent seconds. When I follow his line of sight, I land on my engagement ring.

The bubble bursts, and so does Mark's resolve. Scrubbing a hand over his jaw, he steps backwards until he bumps into the wall on the opposite side of the corridor.

"Fuck," he says. His eyes pinch shut. "Fuck!"

Words evade me. I can only watch as he slides down the wall to a crouching position, one elbow propped on his knees, his face buried in his hand. His bag hits the wooden floorboards with a quiet thud, but it echoes down the corridor.

"Z?" Richard's chest brushes my shoulder. "Who is it?"

I still can't talk. What is he doing here? Just when I thought I'd moved on, he shows up. Sends me into a spin. Like he always does. This isn't fair. How dare he just show up after barely talking to me in over a year?

Richard leans forward to peer around me, and tension immediately tightens his body. "Oh."

God, I need to do something. Say something.

I twist back to my fiancé. "Give me a couple of minutes?"

Lips parting as if to argue, Richard's brow furrows. Then he clears his throat. "Want me to head out for a bit? Give you some privacy?"

Classic Richard. Thoughtful, kind Richard. He doesn't mind that my first choice has rocked up to our shared flat, a month into our engagement. He doesn't bat an eyelid at leaving us alone together.

I bite my lip. "Is that okay?"

"Of course." He squeezes my shoulder. "You'll be okay, though?"

I glance back at Mark. He's still crouched on the floor, body folded up and trembling. No. I'm not going to be okay.

"I'll be fine. Thanks."

Five minutes later, Richard is hitting the streets of Seville, and I'm pouring Mark a large glass of Spanish brandy. We don't have whisky, and I've no idea if brandy is the same, but he looks like he needs a drink. I definitely do.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

He sits next to me on the sofa, forearms braced on his knees. When I hand over the glass of brandy, he tips it back in one gulp, not even flinching at the burn. Maybe because it's cheap brandy.

"Why do you think I'm here?" His tone is detached, with just a hint of ice.

"Did my parents say something?"

As I ask the question, though, I realise that can't be true. He seemed genuinely shocked to see my ring. But if he's here on his own volition, that means one thing... And the reality of that is terrifying.

"No." He frowns. "Why? Is everyone aware of this wonderful news apart from me?"

I lower my eyes to the floor. Looking at him is too difficult. He's here. In the flesh. Speaking to me after a year of minimal communication. It's everything I've hoped for. Except he's too late.

"Why are you here?" I ask again.

He straightens up and levels me with a piercing stare that's devoid of emotion. "Curtis retired, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to travel before I start my next assignment. Spain seemed an obvious choice, since both you and my sister are here."

It's the answer I needed. The confirmation that he's not here to confess his undying love for me. I'm just a convenient coincidence. It doesn't explain his reaction at the door, but I can't dwell on that. Maybe he's just disappointed he's travelled all the way to Andalucía and won't get a shag out of it. After all, Emma lives in Zaragoza. That's 500 miles from here.

"Okay, well, you're welcome to stay." I make the offer, knowing full well he won't accept it.

"Stay here?" He cocks an eyebrow at me, and although his petulance is annoying, at least it's a sign of emotion. "In the flat you share with your fiancé? I think I'll pass."

His attitude riles me up, so I prod a little. Nodding at his bag, I ask, "Did you come straight from the airport, then?"

A muscle in his jaw ticks, like he knows what I'm doing. What I'm really asking. We're both dodging the subject, and that's fine with me, but I'm not going to let him sit here and pretend he's outraged that I've moved on when he's the one who's not made the effort to stay in touch.

"I didn't realise you and Richard had moved in together. Your parents never mentioned it."

"Sounds like you've been talking to my parents more than you've been talking to me."

I don't bother clarifying that Richard and I moved in together out of financial convenience rather than romance. It was the sensible decision when we both relocated to Spain. It doesn't matter now, anyway. Moving in together gave our situationship a much-needed nudge in the right direction.

Mark doesn't acknowledge my jibe. Instead, he holds up his empty glass. "Got any more?"

Narrowing my eyes, I snatch it from his hand and disappear into the kitchen. At least it gives me a moment to regroup. I brace my hands on the counter edge and suck in a deep breath. Maybe this is all a dream and I'll wake up next to Richard any minute now. It wouldn't be the first time I've dreamed of Mark, but granted he's usually a lot less hostile in my subconscious.

Why the hell is he being so hostile anyway? I'm the one who should be annoyed. No contact for over a year, then he shows up here now I'm engaged?

I splash an inch of brandy into the glass, then carry it back over to him. I'm lucky enough to receive a grunt of acknowledgment when he takes the drink from me. So damn grumpy.

But still so damn hot...

No. I physically shake my head to dispel the thought, and he slides a confused frown across to me as he takes a sip of the brandy.

"Do you have any plans with Emma?" I attempt small talk, knowing he probably won't want to engage, even though he's still sat on my sofa, drinking my brandy. Well, Richard's brandy.

"No." He leans back into our weathered sofa cushions, hands cupped around the glass resting on his lap.

"Does she know you're coming or will it be a surprise?"

"I'll let her know when I'm en route. Wouldn't want to be unwelcome there too."

I huff. "Why are you being such a dick?"

He stares straight ahead, the sharp line of his jaw rigid with tension. It's a defence mechanism. After a year apart, I shouldn't be surprised that he's shutting down on me, that we've lost some of the familiar bond we once shared.

It doesn't make it easier, though. Sadness tightens my throat as I let my eyes roam over his stoic figure. Even if he's being an utter dick, he's still here. He's still got on a plane to see me.

I reach out and lay my hand on his lower thigh, just above his knee. Coarse denim scratches my palm, heat burning through from the thick muscle beneath.

"It's good to see you," I whisper.

He swallows, and for a heart-wrenching moment, I think he's going to ignore me. But then he slips his hand from around the glass and folds it over mine, squeezing my fingers.

"Tell me about your hotel," he says. "Are you nailing it?"

"It's going well." I try to think of a way to talk about it that doesn't involve Richard, but Mark's skin is hot on mine, the pad of his thumb brushing over my knuckles, and now Richard is all I can think about.

"How much longer do you have here?" he asks.

"About a month. We finish in May."

He nods and withdraws his hand, but somehow manages to make it look subtle enough by taking hold of his glass again and tipping it back.

"Richard doing the same thing as you?"

"Yeah. Sort of." Reaching behind me, I grab a cushion and set it on my lap so I can busy my hands by playing with the zip. "He was originally supposed to be supporting the finance team, but recently he's been getting more stuck in with operations."

"So you live together and work together?"

My nails dig into the cushion. "Yeah. It's fine, though. Sometimes we barely see each other at work."

"Great. I'm glad it's working out."

He says it in such a deadpan manner that I genuinely can't tell if he's being snarky or sincere.

"What are your plans?" I ask. "Are you looking for another assignment?"

Rubbing his thumb around the rim of the glass, he stares at his feet. "I've got a few options lined up."

When it's clear he's not going to divulge any further insight, I take that as a sure sign that he's shutting down on me. It's sad—mainly because I can't see a way back from here. Too much time has passed, and now I'm engaged to someone else.

"I should probably head off." He pushes up from the sofa and reaches to place his glass on the dining table.

"To where?" I follow him to the door. "Do you have a hotel booked?"

"Yes."

With his back to me, I can't look out for his tell—the tiny twitch of his eye that proves he's lying. I almost offer to get him a room at work, but I doubt he'd take kindly to that. I also doubt he'd admit he'd not bothered to book anywhere.

He pulls his bag onto his shoulder and turns to face me. Green eyes flicker over my body before locking with mine.

"I'm glad you're happy, Zo." Sincerity softens the sharpness in his tone. "I hope he looks after you."

A lump forms in my throat, because it's clear this is goodbye. I want to savour the moment, potentially the last time I'll see him in the flesh. The last time I'll smell that woody cologne or be within mere feet of his imposing body. The last time I'll feel that comforting sensation of safety and security, blended with excitement and uncertainty.

But clearly he doesn't want to savour it, because he yanks open the door and disappears down the hallway without even a glance over his shoulder.

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Thank you for reading :) xx

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Do you think Mark was telling the truth about his reason for visiting Zoe? For those of you who've read Heart of Stone, in the next chapter Teddy & Mark meet for the first time!