For the next couple of days, nobody out of the ordinary contacted Milan.

It was weird because all on every social media platform, she saw pictures of Devon. People were expressing their condolences, how heart broken they were, and so much public grief... but no one had even reached out to ask for the service arrangements.

Luckily, there weren't any.

Milan bitterly thought as she counted her money from the last couple of nights she worked. Working as a bottle girl paid mostly in tips. She always did well.

She'd use this money to go get gas and a couple other things before she went and visited Ramses at the facility he was being held in. He was trial was in the next two weeks. And after what Carlos said to her about dying in jail... she wouldn't miss laying her eyes on him for the world.

Manuel had even sent flowers through Nicki to apologize for Carlos's "boldness". The slap she gave him still masquerading as a response to a crude joke. Milan had the flowers taken away from her room and thrown in the trash as soon as they were delivered.

What Carlos had done could never be fixed.

And the pain definitely couldn't be eased with some weak ass baby's-breath.

Giving her hairline a break from the wigs, Milan styled her jet black hair into a low slick knot bun. Bringing her baby hairs to the front, Milan had to admit, she was a extravagant edge layer. She loved the art of swooping and curving her edges to whatever look she was trying to achieve.

She especially loved doing her sideburns by making them curl up by her ears. Her look was already understated enough, she was wearing an orange graphic tee, biker shorts, and sneakers. Grabbing her purse, she made sure to throw a pair of sunglasses in as well as some hand sanitizer.

Her goal was not to touch anything at the jail house, but she knew that wouldn't be possible.

***

When she arrived at the holding facility, Milan reluctantly got out of her car and approached the building with sky high chain link fences with barbed wire at the top.

Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined herself actively involved— hell, fucking in love with a man who was on trial for murder. Let alone visiting him as he awaited trail!

I know my mama is crying and throwing up watching me.

Milan thought as she was lightly patted down, purse searched, walked through a metal detector, and then an x-ray machine.

At the end of that small parade, she was then returned her purse and allowed to approach the teller to sign in for visitation. "Inmate name?" The platinum blonde woman behind the counter asked her, her pen poised down at the piece of waiting paper. She was an older heavy set black woman who seemed to be in her late 50s.

"Ramses Young, and my name is Milan Cozart."

The woman glanced up at her when Milan said Ramses's name, chuckling to herself as she wrote down the date and time of when Milan arrived before turning the paper towards Milan for her signature.

"You know I forget that young n*gga name, everybody that visits calls him Pharoah other than that white lady lawyer he got." The clerk continued to speak, patting her bun back in place with long dark red finger nails.

Taken aback by the woman's cursing, all Milan could say was "Oh?" as she signed her signature next to her name and pushed the paper back towards the worker.

The woman continued to laugh to herself as she pulled out a big square stamp and slammed it down onto a name tag for Milan. When she handed it to her, Milan saw it read visitor and had her first and last name on it. She pinned it to her shirt next.

"Please have a seat in the chairs behind you, your name will be called when its your turn to visit." The clerk directed her with a point of a finger.

Milan thanked her before turning and going to sit in a seat. Looking around the room, Milan took note of all the different people waiting to see their loved ones. She saw a new mother and her baby waiting patiently, the baby was sleeping and the mother was consistently rocking her to keep it that way.

There were two twin boys a couple of seats down from her sharing one Nintendo Switch. It looked like they'd come with their grandmother who was keeping a watchful eye on them as she clutched a rosary close to her heart. She looked like she was about to go on the stand with all the worry on her face.

Facing forward once again, Milan felt a sense of community with the other women in the room. They were all here to see someone they loved.

"Milan for Ramses Young?" A tall guard appeared from the end of the nearest hallway, reading off a notepad. Milan immediately stood up to her feet. "Here." She announced herself as she walked towards the waiting guard.

He nodded at her and began walking back down the hallway he came. Milan followed behind him closely. Now, like she said before, she never imagined herself being in a jail. So, now that she'd found herself in one, she was absolutely terrified.

Everything looked dull and dingy.

Everything needed a good hot power wash.

The guard eventually led her to a bigger room with huge windows. Inside the room there were a bunch of small tables, each having two chairs on either side. The guard gestured for Milan to go inside and wait.

Walking in, she walked passed families who were already meeting with their loved ones. Some men were wearing tan smock suits while small group was wearing bright orange ones. This was all surreal to Milan. The last time she saw Ramses he was behind bulletproof glass, the butterflies in her stomach were having a rave.

She wondered what color he'd be wearing.

She didn't have to wonder long, because it was almost like she felt his energy when he entered the room. Her eyes immediately going towards the door, she saw Ramses being walked towards the visiting room. He was wearing tan now.

The color only making his dark hickory skin stand out more under the bright fluorescent lighting in the room. His hair had grown out immensely. His waves now short unbelievably curly coils. He also had a short beard growing in, and it connected well to his sideburns.

Milan could definitely vouch that'd he be one fine homeless man.

She beamed at him as the officers unlocked his handcuffs and allowed him to approach her. Milan couldn't help herself when she stood up and pulled him into a big hug. Their bodies connecting again felt like the perfect lightning strike. Every cell in her body began to sing.

Ramses's arms came around her waist and he squeezed her just as tightly, his face immediately going into her neck and inhaling like he was trying to commit her very scent to memory. Milan even felt her feet leaving the ground a little bit because their embrace was so tight.

"Alright, break it up, Young."

A gruff voice ordered the couple to separate.

Milan jumped, immediately breaking the embrace. She did not want to get him in anymore trouble than he was already in. The two sat down at the same time. Ramses's eyes flitted over her face as if he was seeing her for the first time all over again. There was a warmth in his hazel depths that made her butterflies turn to warm sticky glue in her stomach. He made her melt.

"How are you?" Milan asked him, her tone was soft like she was afraid if she spoke too loud she'd wake up from this dream. She'd missed him so much.

Ramses reached over the table and took her hand. The simple touch between the two of them feelings like a lifetime's worth of hugs.

"I been so fucking worried about you, Mi. All being up in here has made me feel is powerless to protect you. Hell, Malcolm earning mo' stripes for you than me." Ramses admitted, his voice husky with emotion.

Milan took a deep breath as his words washed over her. She couldn't imagine how that must feel, and she couldn't deny that she'd been dealing with some serious close calls.

"I know you would be right by my side if you could..." She offered as some comfort. Ramses just shook his head. His thumb rubbing circles on the topside of her hand.

"This shit been so crazy, Milan. Everything smooth in here surprisingly. N*ggas don't give me no smack. But my girl out there duckin' and dodgin' n*ggas who'd never step forreal if I was there. That shit don't sit right with me." He continued on.

Milan cocked her head at a certain part of his sentence.

"Your girl?" She asked again, faux confusion on her face. Ramses smacked his lips and gave her look that dared her to protest.

"You really finna blow me. You telling me after all this time you gon' tell me you ain't mine?" Ramses asked incredulously. Milan shrugged, looking away from him for a second for dramatic effect.

"You ain't never asked me. You should know I'm a hearts and flowers typa girl. I need the works...but speaking of flowers, thank you for the bouquet you sent. Now that was so sweet." Milan smoothly changed the subject.

The glint in Ramses's eye let her know he knew what she was doing, but he allowed the conversation to move on. "You're welcome. I'm sorry I wasn't there in person to comfort you. How are you holding up after Devon's death anyway?"

This caused Milan to take another deep breath.

She just hadn't had the time to grieve properly yet. And with Devon's death being so intertwined with his gang life and his own agenda to kill her... she couldn't find it in her to sit down and be sad about someone who was hell bent on murdering her.

For 100 grand at that.

She had to unpack all of that for her to truly miss her brother. The person that he was deep down under all the bullshit he was concerned with.

But instead of letting this all out to Ramses, Milan answered with this:

"I'm doing okay."

"I... am taking it one day at a time. Getting ready for your trial is taking enough of my time. I hope you're doing your part to prepare as well." Milan led on, playfully narrowing her eyes at the end of the sentence. This caused Ramses to smile. Oh, how she missed his smile.

His pearly white teeth shone for a second before he spoke, "Hell yeah I'm preparing. I def gotta get back onna street if you walkin' around thinking yo' ass a free agent. Putting a stop to allat as soon as my feet hit the concrete." He laughed at the end of his spill.

Even Milan had to laugh a little at that. The two sat there marveling at each other for a minute. It seemed they were both in awe to simply be in each other's presence again.

All this did was remind Milan of what Carlos said. It sobered her up.

"Ramses, if and when you get released, are you done with this street shit?" She found the courage to ask him. And she had to be honest with herself, if he said no, she would never be his girl.

She had been through enough. However, she didn't want that to hang over his answer either.

He was quiet for a beat when she asked the question. His kept his eyes on hers, but they were jaded.

Ramses cleared his throat and licked his lips before answering, "I have almost lost you too many times for me to keep putting you in harm's way. You've left me over it and I've almost lost you over it to unseen forces. Milan, when I get outta here I'm yours.

I wanna be wit' you and I want you safe most importantly. We getting the fuck gone."

Milan's heart glowed at the statement. She even let out a small squeal on accident.

It was clear her excitement was not covertly contained because Ramses's face had lit up as well. A knowing smirk gracing his features. Their hand hold tightened across the table.

Giddy purely from the assurance that this life was just temporary had Milan on Cloud 9. She couldn't wait to get away from the city and live life with him. She couldn't wait to do normal with him.

Ramses's eyes darkened from across the table, it was as if her joy was an aphrodisiac for him. The way he was drinking her in made Milan cross her legs under the table.

"You look so good right now. I swear to God the next time I get you alone I'mma break you." He huskily admitted. The explicit admission made goosebumps spread across Milan's skin. His sentence only reminded her of the few times they'd made love before.

She couldn't wait to feel his touch again either.

"That sounds like just what I need. You know I been stressing out here without you..." Milan led on, her tone sultry. Ramses ate it up like a dog, licking his lips like he wanted to devour her in that moment.

Then, Milan had the audacity to uncross her legs and run her foot up the inside of his leg. If the way the pressure on her hand increased ten fold didn't tell her he was ready to bend her over the visitation table, the way his pulse could visibly be seen on his neck did.

Laughing to herself, Milan covered his hand with hers, smiling.

"I love you, boy. I'm so happy you're holding up well in here." She gushed, definitely in a romantic mood now. Seeing him made the pain of everything hurt a little less.

"Aye, as long as I know I got you out there rockin' fa me, can't none of this shit break me, Mi. You done became my heart."

The sweetness of the sentiment made Milan's eyes flutter close. She savored this moment. She damn near wished she'd got it on video. Milan knew it was so easy to feel good in his presence, but as soon as they parted ways the world would feel so heavy again.

At least she was a bit more recharged to call Nicki back. Since she was his lawyer and all.

Milan had ignored all of the woman's calls after the Carlos event. She just didn't feel like rehashing it. However, with Ramses saying as soon as he's out he's leaving the streets—

He said he wanted to get married, basically.

Milan's delusional subconscious butt in.

She needed Nicoletta to do her absolute best on his trial.

She needed Ramses to do the same.

"Just make sure you get yo' ass outta here quick." Milan stressed, in a playful tone, but she was definitely dead serious.

Or he gon' have to worry about me killing him instead.