This book is really weird and random and short. It has no plot really. It is just a jumble of weird and randomness. So enjoy!!:)

I am walking in the magical woods going on the adventure of a lifetime. The trees are different colors. The trees taste like different fruit such as grapes, apples, oranges, and etc.

I came upon two dead fat people just floating in the water. Why wasn't anyone using these? I took out some rope out of my backpack and I tied the bodies together to make a raft. I sat on it, surprised that it can hold my weight, before I started rowing down the river with my oar.

I came upon an unicorn with beautiful long hair and pretty blue eyes. It was love at first sight. I started drooling. I looked at her with hearts in my eyes. Alll of a sudden, pizza started falling from the sky. I smiled in happiness as the unicorn walked up to me.

"My name is Pretzel! What is your name?" She asked. "My name is Boblimich," I replied. "That's a handsome name," she added flirtasiously. She batted her long black eyelashes.

She leaned in and kissed me. We started kissing and it felt so right. Nothing ever in my life has ever been as perfect as this moment was. I stroked her blonde hair. I grabbed it and smelt it.

Then a snake came out of nowhere and screamed,"That is some weird beastiality stuff going on there!!" "How about you go and leave us alone!" I suggested. Then a whale started singing my humps in the background. Everything was perfect. Everything was so romantic.

Then a pirate came and snatched my love away. I grabbed a turtle and threw it at the pirate. He went overboard and drowned. Pretzel and I cheered before we stole the boat and steered away. All of a sudden a Chuck Norris came and started beating me up with the fist that came out of his beard.

I stuffed him in the closet and locked the door. So now we can keep Chuck Norris forever!! Then, a bunch of hairy men in high short shorts came and started singing,"It's raining men! Hallejuah!! It's raining men!!" Pretzel and I started dancing and twerking.

Then Chuck Norris broke out of the closet and he came out with Donald Trump and Miley Cyrus. The hairy guys jumped off the boat and swam away. Then it was raining steak and cheese. "We are going to attack you!!" They all said demonically at the same time.

"Oh no!! They are gonna attack us!!" I screamed. I grabbed a steak and started slapping Donald Trump with it. "This is for trying to build a wall!!" I screamed. Pretzel started throwing cheese at Miley Cyrus. "This is for cutting your hair!!"

Chuck Norris had no one fighting against him so he bulldozed us all into the water. Was this the end? Then a narwhal saved us all and threw us onto land. A chicken started pecking Pretzel so I beat it up and it squaked and ran away. We all cheered.

Lady Gaga came and said,"Poke me in the face," "Ok, I guess," I replied. I poked her in the face and she became a crab with wings and flew away. We stopped fighting with Donald Trump,Chuck Norris and Miley Cyrus.

~~~~6 years later~~~~
Pretzel and I got married and had two kids. They are both girls and their names are Pepporoni and Sausage. We love food if you can't tell.:)We lived a happy life until we died. First I did since I got beat to death by a pizza and Pretzel choked on a rock. Our children lived forever and married Donald Trump and Chuck Norris. Lolz.

Hope you like this story!! It is really short, random and weird and if you like it, tell me since then I will write more randomly weird stories like this. Thanks, remember to vote, follow and comment! Give advice and criticism so I can be a better writer!!:)