(To give some background Michael's dad was abusive and raped him)
(TW:Angst)

  (By prettyyou2

(Michael's POV)

     I am a dom. I'm pretty sure at least. I told Jeremy I was switch and now he wants to dom and I couldn't say no so hes currently kissing down my neck.

    I whimpered as Jeremy found my sweet spot. He started abusing it as one his hands went to grop me. I didn't know I felt about this. And one of the only things I could think about was my dad, he did a... lot of really bad things to me and so I have problems with shit like this.

    Jeremy pulled away from my neck and looked up at me.

    "You okay?" He asked looking worried. I nodded. "Your in control okay? If you don't like something tell me okay?" He cheeked.

    "Okay Jer." I agreed smiling softly. He smiled back and kissed me pushing me back on the bed.

    Jeremy got up and walked to the dresser we were both in only our boxers. He walked back over with some lube and a condom.

    I don't jack off a lot. And I've never fingered myself. I've fingered Jeremy but not myself. I don't like the feeling at all. Maybe it will be different with Jeremy?

    Jeremy got onto the bed and pulled my boxers off me gently making sure to keep eye contact with me to make sure this was okay. He got my boxers off and lubed up three fingers.

    "You ready?" He asked softly. I nodded.

    "Verbal." He reminded me. I felt a couple tears in my eyes and Jeremy saw this so he pulled me into a hug. I hugged back tightly. I didn't know if I could this.

    We sat there hugging for a little bit before I pulled away.

    "I'm ready now." I sniffed Jeremy nodded and put a finger at me entrance, slowly pushing it in. I bit my lip. Jeremy always moaned when I did this to him but this didn't feel nearly as good as he made it look.

    "You good Mike?" Jeremy asked gently kissing my inner thigh.

    "Yeah just wired." I replied softly shifting.

    "Yeah it feels like that at first sometimes." Jeremy chuckled as he began pushing his finger in and out. Jeremy always started melting now why aren't I? Was he faking it? No sometimes he came from me doing just this, I didn't even have to touch his dick.

    Jeremy pushed in a second finger and I felt a little pleasure now but not much. Not enough. Maybe I need more? Jeremy pushed both fingers in and out. I bit my lip and gripped the bed sheets. Still felt a little worng.

    "Michael are you okay?" Jeremy asked. He looked extremely worried.

   "Yeah." I replied suprised by how hourse my voice was.

    "Your lieing." Jeremy replied pulling his fingers out and cupping my cheek with his clean hand. Then I felt how cold my face was, I was crying.

    "No- I, I don't know why I'm crying." I chuckled. Jeremy still looked worried.

    "We can stop Mike." Jeremy whispered. I mustered a smile.

   "I know, but I don't want to." I replied. Jeremy sighed and nodded.

    We got back to where we were and he pushed his fingers back in. Soon I was on three and after Jeremy went and got a condom putting it on I just watched and mentally prepared myself for what was about to happen.

    "Ready hun?" Jeremy asked. He was aligned with my entrance. I nodded softly then I remembered the verbal thing.

    "Yes." I agreed. He nodded and pushed in. It suddenly wasn't Jeremy it was my dad. I still remember him telling me to just let it happen. I remembered being scared and crying and shaking and laying there helpless.

    I stayed still though. I didn't move I didn't tell him to stop or go. Just froze.

    "Michael? Can I move?" Jeremy asked. I nodded softly though I didn't want him to. Tell him tell him tell him

    Jeremy pulled out and pushed back in moaning softly. I was just still. I laid my head back and felt tears pour out of my eyes as Jeremy's speed picked up. I felt Jeremy's hand run down my side I couldn't so this I couldn't do this I couldn't do this

    "RED!" I yelled. Jeremy immediately pulled out and I felt his arms wrap around me. I panicked and shoved him away as I sobbed.

    "Michael it's me, it's me, Jeremy." I looked up at Jeremy and broke down as he got on the floor next to me and hugged me gently. I sobbed into his shoulder.

    A couple minutes passed and I had calmed down. I looked at Jeremy with teary eyes. He sighed.

    "You should've told me Michael." He whispered.

    "To-told yo-ou wh-what?" I asked.

     "That you weren't a switch. I had a feeling I just didn't say anything cuss I thought I was being paranoid." He explained. Shit now he probably feels bad. I do whenever Jeremy uses the safe word. I looked down.

    "I'm sorry....." I muttered. Jeremy pulled me into a gentle and comforting kiss.

     "Let's clean you up okay?" Jeremy offered. I nodded. Jeremy was still hard. I felt bad I opened mouth but Jeremy cut me off. "No Mike your not sucking me off because you feel bad." Jeremy said strictly. I huffed and he giggled.

    Jeremy put me in a bath and he got in to, after we both cuddled. And it's good to try new things. To know what you like.

It good to discover your boundaries

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  AN: FRIST SMUT YAYYYYY

Word count:954