(By Saracha105

Jake pulled Rich impossibly closer to him as his lips traced over every bit of exposed skin. Usually in this situation, Rich would be just as eager to lay his hands over Jake, but there was something that laid heavy on his mind. Something he couldn't shake away.

"Hey, what's wrong baby" Jake mumbled as he rubbed his hands up and down Rich's arms.

"I don't.. I just," Rich's anxiety peaked as his mind swirled with worry. His stomach too. "Why don't we... Ever go on dates?" Jake looked at him, his nose scrunched up.

"What do you mean?" He asked after much hesitation.

"Well, I mean, we fuck all the time. And like, I don't know, maybe we could.. do more? Like, watch a movie or go out to dinner."

Jake pulled himself away from Rich slightly. Was he serious?

"Why? Do you actually want dates?" Jake said with confusion and fear in his voice.

Rich was slightly aggravated. "Are you serious? I fucking like you, Jake. I thought you did too when we started dating. I wanna know you love me. I wanna be spoiled a bit and I want people to know about us. I want you to prove I'm not just your cum dump. Is all I am to you is a fuck buddy?"

"Richie, don't say that. I don't only see you for sex." Jake's hands began to shake. He was scared of where this was going.

"Then prove it! Take me out somewhere in public. Come out about us to our friends."

Jake lowered his head, shaking it slightly. He couldn't do that. He could do all that lovey-dovey shit with Rich in front of people.

"So, will you?" There was slight hope in his voice. Jake could hear it. He wanted to make that hope grow, but he just couldn't.

"I can't." Jake whispered as he pushed Rich off his lap.

Rich was in fury. He had so many things he wanted to say. He'd wasted so much time with Jake, someone who he loved. But he guesses the feelings weren't reciprocated. He wanted to scream, to break things, and cry. He wanted to go home. Despite his dad being there.

"Fine. This is over." Rich simply stated as he hopped off the Queen sized bed in the center of the room. He slipped his shoes on.

Jake could only sit there and watch. He didn't dare say anything because he knew Rich would only get even more upset.

"I thought you loved me. Jake, you were the reason I didn't kill myself. All my hope was pinned on you. Just wanted you to know." And with that, Rich left.

Jake silently cried to himself. He just couldn't come forward. He was scared too. No one, except for Rich, knew his sexualitly. Not even his close friends. And the only reason Rich knew is because he'd confessed his feeling to him and Jake couldn't just let him go. Jake loved him too. But now he did let Rich go. He's gone, and Jake just watched it happen. His eyes seemed to pour for hours.

His vision was blurry as he banged his head against the wall. And again. And again. Bang, bang, bang. His head clashed again, he could tell a bruise was forming. He wanted so bad to hurt himself. He deserved it. The pain. He gave one final bang to the wall before his roommate walked into the house. He could hear him making out with some girl behind his door. It could be me and Rich..

^^

Rich went home that night, distraught and hopeless. He thumped down on his bed, a defeated sigh escaped his chapped lips. He'd never felt this bad since.. Well, three years ago when he almost killed himself in that fire.

The heartbreak, the pain, the feeling of being trapped. He felt like the smoke was caving in, invading his lungs, filling his throat. Tears ran down his cheeks, his entire body felt hot. He was sweating, just being reminded of that night.

Rich fell asleep by himself, curled into a ball, a bloody razor thrown in the trash.

---

"Shit man! I don't know what to do.." Jake groaned, a hand on his forehead. The swelling was going down, and the bruise was faint by now. He still liked to poke at it when he's nervous.

"Just make him dinner. Or- go out to eat. He wants to go on a date with you, right? So go out in public. Show him you're not ashamed of him." Michael said, glancing at his own boyfriend who was sleeping on the bed.

"But, what if people stare? Or they make fun of us for being gay?"

"Jake, me and Jeremy go out all the time and nothing happens. And even if people do stare, who cares!? At least your being happy with the one you love."

The one I love. The one.. I.. love. I'm in love with Rich. I-i have to make this up. Like right fucking now.

"Alright, I know what I'll do."

---

Rich lifted his head off of his pillow when he heard the doorbell ring. He groaned, not really wanting to answer it. He hadn't showered in days, his hair was a mess, he was only wearing boxers and a long t-shirt, he hadn't gotten a proper night's sleep in days.. he looked like a wreck. He was a wreck.

He figured it wasn't anyone important. No one said they'd be coming over, so whoever was at the door would probably leave soon.

Rich flumped his head back down, the warm pillow inviting him back to sleep.

Rich wanted to sleep. To let all his problems drift away in slumber, but that damn doorbell kept ringing.

With a sigh, Rich walked to the front door, ready to push away whoever it was.

He slung the door open, not even bother to look through the window and see who it was. "What do you- Jake?"

"Hey Rich," Jake smiled, his eyes scaring over Rich's body. Rich felt insecure. He's mad at Jake, but he still loves him. And the guy he loves gets to see him as a mess. Way to show em.. He looked down, trying not to look Jake in the eyes. He felt embarrassed.

"Can I come in?" Jake asked, his hands stuffed in his pockets, which was basically all that Rich could see.

"I- sure. Why not. My dad's not home." Rich walked to his living room, Jake following awkwardly behind.

Rich flopped on a chair, his legs swung over the armrest. Jake sat down on the couch opposite of Rich.

"What do you want?" Rich asked, trying to sound as bored as possible.

"I- I told our friends about us." Jake said, his shoulders sinking down. "You wanted me to tell people about us. And I did. And I-I feel like a dick for not doing it before."

Rich just stayed silent. He didn't know what to say. "And I wasn't ashamed of you, if that's what you thought. I wanted to go out in public. I really did. But I was worried about how others would see us, see me. I was being a dick." He cleared his throat and continued.

"It's like, when my parents left, I guess I figured they didn't love me. They weren't proud of me as their son. So I.. don't want anyone else to see me that way. I wanted people to be proud of me. Everyone to be. There's still a lot of homophobic people, and I got scared theyd be.. dissapointed. But it doesn't matter. Cause I love you too. And everyone can know that, I don't care who knows it. I wanna be with you." Jake finished his rant, his eyes tearing up. He bit his lip to hold back those tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm sorry too," Rich whispered, still refusing to make eye contact. He looked down at his feet that were hanging in the air. "I should've let you tell me why. Coming out is a big deal and I guess I was trying to rush it on you."

"No Rich, you were right. I should've at least told our friends. I know they wouldn't have judged me. I've just- my sexuality has always been a fault to me. It's been one of my one major imperfections that I've always tried to push away and pretend doesn't exist. Cause I can't change it. But I was wrong. My imperfection is worrying about how people perceive me. Who I like is who I am. And I like you Rich. A lot."

"I- I like you a lot.. Too." Rich mumbled, a glance into Jakes eyes. His eyes froze in place when he saw a bruise on Jake's forehead. "What happened to your head?"

Jake sheepishly laughed, a hand stroking up his arm. "I, kinda, uh, banged my head on the wall."

"It looks like more than that." Rich walked closer to Jake, his fingers ghosting over the purple bump.

"Repeatedly" Rich backed up to look Jake in the eyes.

"Why?"

"Well- you left and I felt horrible. I wanted to hurt myself I guess. It felt relieving. If that makes sense."

Rich bit his lip. "Yeah, I know what you mean" He pulled his arm up. Jake looked at the fresh scars and the ones that were reopened.

"I did that, It's my fault. I'm so sorry" Jake cried out, wrapping his arms over Rich's waist. Jake's head rested on his stomach.

"No It's not, I was just reacting to fast"

"But I-I-"

"Hey, it's my fault you heads all banged up. So, let's drop it?"

"Ok"

Rich sunk down to his knees so he could give Jake a proper hug.

"Will you go on a date with me? In public, where everyone can see." Jake asked, his hand cupping Rich's cheeks.

"Are you sure you're ready to go completely public like that?" Rich questioned, not wanting him to rush into things.

"No, but I know you want to. And I'll have to face it one day. All I care about is you being happy.."

"And all I care about is you being happy. I don't want to go out if you're not ready. Let's stay in, make a dinner for ourselves? And that way we can make out without anyone seeing." Rich gave him a close eye grin, his cheeks tinted pink.

"Thanks. And I'll cook. We can do it at my house. On Thursday! My roommate'll be gone for that day."

"Alright. Can't wait." Rich whispered, a kiss below the bruise on Jakes head.

"Wear something somewhat nice. A little classier than casual." Jake said before standing up, preparing to leave.

"Why're you in such a rush to leave?"

"I have to clean my entire house and learn to cook by Thursday." He said and waved goodbye and walked out the door.

Rich chuckled, biting his thumb nail before Jake threw the door open and rushed back over to Rich, giving him a deep kiss, his hands cupping his face. "I love you" he whispered.

"I love you too." Rich mumbled, still fazed from the kiss. Jake smirked and walked back out the door.

Rich blushed, his arms crossed together as he walked to his room, picking out an outfit for Thursday.

---

Rich was in his car, straightening out his shirt, making sure he looked alright, eating a couple of mints. This is his first date with Jake, and he was so nervous. Even more nervous then when they had sex for the first time.

Why am I so scared? We hang out all the time. We fuck all the time. This shouldn't be much different..

Meanwhile, Jake was pacing back and forth in his kitchen, waiting for Rich to ring the doorbell. He was nervous as well, their relationship depended on this date. Plus, this is the first date he's been on in a while that wasn't to pursuade someone for sex.

It's 8:02. Maybe he decided not to come. Maybe he's still mad..

Rich knocked on the door and was almost immediately opened by a rushed Jake. "Hey" he smiled breathlessly, excited to see his boyfriend.

"Hey" Rich smiled back, his hands straightening out the bottom of his blue button up shirt.

"Uh, come in." Jake took his hands and led him inside. Rich closed the door with his foot.

"So, I made spaghetti. I hope that ok, it's like the only thing I know how to make." Jake admitted as Rich took a seat on the stool by the bar. They didn't have a table, just that bar.

"It's fine babe, I actually like spaghetti."

Jake smiled, feeling a bit more relieved. He brought two plates out, putting the food on it. Salad, garlic bread, and spaghetti obviously.

"Wow, this is really good." Rich said with a looked over to his boyfriend, who was stabbing at the noodles.

"Really?"

"Yeah, fucking delicious."

Jake smirked and took a bite. They ate their meal, the radio playing music softly in the background, and made endless smalltalk that sometimes led to bigger discussions. It was nice, talking about the things they liked, what they had in common, and what made them different. They discovered new things about the other, and it only strengthened their attraction.

"I'm kinda thirsty. Can I have something to drink?" Rich asked. Jake held his finger up as he finished chewing his food.

"I almost forgot," He stood up and walked to a shelf hanging on the wall. "I bought wine" He smiled, holding the bottle up near his face.

"Oo, getting fancy aren't we?"

"Not really. It was pretty cheap." Rich snorted, his hand on his face as Jake went to get some wine glasses.

He'd always kept those glasses. His mom cherished them as she grew her collection of China. She'd always drink from them, and that meant something to Jake. He kept three, in case his mom and dad ever came back. Maybe they could all drink some time together. But that was just a dream. He knew they wouldn't come back..

Jake poured the dark liquid into the fancy glass, the smell of cheap wine flew through the house. "To us?" Jake raised his glass.

"To us" Rich giggled as he clinked their glasses. They both took a sip.

"Hey, that's not bad." Rich said as he lowered the cup, swirling it around like he's seen done in tv shows.

"Yeah, it's alright" Jake agreed.

A very familiar song came on, and Rich started to hum along, his finger dancing with the beat.

"Hey, it's our song" Jake said, taking their plates to the sink.

"Our song?"

"Yeah, when we first made love this was the song playing. I call it our song cause everytime I hear it I think of you." Jake blushed, recalling that night. It was one of his favorite days.

"Me too," Rich sighed and took another sip. "Let's dance," He said, standing up from his stool. He walked over and grabbed Jake's arms, his hand moving down to his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"I don't dance well."

"Me neither"

Rich wrapped his arms around Jake's neck, pushing his body closer to Jake's. Jake put his large hands around Rich's waist. He had to lean down some cause Rich was so short.

They swayed back and forth, the music pulling them into a trance. Jake held Rich close, he didn't want to let him go. It felt right, like they belonged. No one else mattered except for them.

"Thank you Jake," Rich mumbled, his face turned to the side as it laid against Jake's chest.

"It's no problem. You deserve it anyway."

They danced for a while, song after song played. They didn't want to move though.

"I love you" Rich mumbled again, pulling away to look Jake in the eyes.

"I love you too" Jare replied with a glance to Rich's lips. Those pink lips have been in his mind all day. He wanted to feel them again. He wanted to earn them. Rich leaned up, his eyes closed as he tilted his head. Jake pressed his onto Rich, almost afraid to move them.

Rich pulled away. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Huh? Nothing"

"I can tell something's up. You don't kiss like that."

"I- I'm kissing you the same way I always do."

"No, this one feels.. Different. Sorrowful almost"

"How can you even tell?"

"Cause I can. Not tell me what's wrong."

"I" Jake turned his head to the side. "I don't feel like I.. deserve to kiss you." His eyes flickered to Rich's arms.

"Jake.. Of course you can kiss me. I think you've done a great job of making up to me. I can almost forgive you."

"Almost?"

"You gotta kiss me first. Then you can be forgiven." Rich smirked, pulling himself upward to Jake's lips again. Jake kissed him again, feeling better about himself.

It was sweet and soft, something they've never really done before. It was great, just feeling the heart warming love they felt for each other. But that wholesomeness was running low as passion seeped in. Their kiss grew rougher, their air was running out. Rich's hands went higher, running through Jake's hair as Jake's hands went lower, fiddling with the belt strings attached to Rich's pants.

"You know" Rich panted, catching his breath. "I don't think I got a good look at the place. Maybe we can start with the bedroom?" He pursed his lips, hoping Jake would catch his hint.

Jake smirked, his eyes glistening with lust. "Oh, I'd be glad to start there." He kissed Rich again before fast walking to his bedroom, Rich gripping his ass as they went.

Jake picked him up (He was struggling deep down Cause Rich be buff) and Kissed him roughly before throwing him on the bed. He climbed on top of him, his hands on either side of Rich's shoulders.

Rich pulled him down, wanting to feel Jake again. Every few seconds they were apart felt like hours, and he wanted to be connected at all times.

They continued to kiss, Jake looming over Rich's smaller frame. They were used to how things went, it was routine at this point. They'd break apart to touch each other and go back to kissing.

Jake nibbled on Rich's collar bone, the skin pinching between his teeth. His hands ran down Rich's body. He's done this so many times, why did it feel different? Like a different body, a different passion.

His thumbs ran over Rich's hip bones as he looked into Rich's eyes. He couldn't get enough of them. It's like he could see him in a new perspective. Like he's falling in love all over again. His eyes looked so sincere, so trusting, so safe. Like he finally trusts Jake. It's not just a quick fuck anymore, it has meaning. It's their love.

"Jake?" Rich asked. Jake was just... staring at him.

"Huh? Oh, sorry" Jake mumbled, kissing over his stomach.

"No, I- what, why were you just.. Staring?"

"It's just your eyes, their so.. Beautiful? I just- you're so pretty"

Rich blushed, his hands rushing to hide his face. Jake chuckled, his face leaning in closer. "You're so cute." He whispered before leaving kisses over Rich's face as he lowered Rich's hands.

"J-just get on with it!" Rich stammered. Jake smirked, his lips brushing over the sensitive parts of his neck.

He left hickey's over Rich's neck and collarbone, the bright red marks slowly turned to a dark purple.

They took off their clothing, shirts and socks scattered the floor as they went back to kissing each other passionately, their hands touching over the other.

Rich sat up and Jake gave him a questioning look. Rich pushed him down and straddled his waist, grinding his ass down on Jake's dick. "Ha" Jake panted in surprise, his face flushing as Rich moved faster, his hips rocking back and forth.

After a few more tempting minutes, Rich poured some lube over his hands. He stuck three fingers into his ass immediately. Jake bit his lip at the sight. Rich moaned as he thrusted his fingers roughly. "Don't you wanna start out with one first?" Jake asked, his hand stroking his dick.

"I stretched myself yesterday." Rich said with a wink. Jake threw his head back.

Rich aligned himself over Jake's cock, the tip tracing over him. With a deep breath, Rich sank down. He moaned as he adjusted to the stretch. With shaky hands, Rich moved up and down slowly.

Jake groaned as the firstion increased. Rich's face scrunched and his eyes were shut as he bounced up and down. Jake found it adorable. He brushed his hands over Rich's members to watch his facial expressions.

They've done this so many times. In cars, behind bushes, in each other's houses, but it felt so different. So amazing. They knew they loved each other, they knew nothing could separate them. They were meant to be. And that made everything so good.

"Jake!" Rich moaned as he aimed for his prostate.

Jake's hands rushed to Rich's waist as he neared his orgasm. He helped Rich go faster, his hips bucking up in time with Rich.

Their moaning could be heard through the house, echoing through the empty halls. Their bodies slapping together seemed to turn them on more as Jake goaned, his head clouded over. All he could think of was Rich, his voice, his body, how sexy he was. How much Jake just wanted him. And he has him. He has Rich. All to himself.

"I-, mm, I'm cumming" Rich screamed, his fingers clenching around Jake's sides. The heat spread through his body. He felt so awake, so alive. So unreal.

"Me too Richie," He groaned one final time, his cum filling up Rich's ass. He rode out his high as Rich came over his stomach.

With a sigh, Rich laid back down on the bed, his head sinking on the pillow.

"That was great babe" Jake said as he laid beside him, his arm pulling Rich close.

"It better've been, my knees hurt now" Rich mumbled with a smile. Jake smirked, his eyes flickering to Rich's lips.

"Aw, m' sorry" He pecked his lips. "I'll clean us up." He sat up before Rich tugged his sleeve.

"Wait, let's shower together," Rich said, holding Jake's hand.

"Oh, let's do that please." He smirked, pulling Rich up off the bed.