Rewind. Play. Pause.

Don't you wish you had the power to do all three?

Every day is a new start, they say, and when in reality everyday's the same.

Excluding the fact I saw my step­father making out with someone on the couch, perfectly dragged against each other like they were back in high school, it was beyond awkward and
disturbing that I couldn't resist from bursting out laughing.

The next day of school, the seventh of November was different. Alex was in one of his many moods.

Do you know what this means?

I'm going to be dead.

Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

I prepped myself, taking in steady breaths.

There's going to be Nutella later, chocolate, Netflix..

My heart was going in overdrive and I felt like I was gonna faint in any second.

Netflix.. Thump. .

Popcorn. Thump. Thump

Harry Styles. Thump. Thump.Thump.

Something for god sake's that is happy.

Happy thoughts.

This was my method to prevent myself from using my pants as a toilet.

In other words shitting on my pants and having a heart attack.

As my eyes landed on Alex Blake, his face was was flustering red. Angry my arse, he looked livid almost like he could snap someone's neck for glancing at him the wrong way.

I shook my head. He could go to helll for all I care.

"Oh I'm sorry." The person who bumped into me said. It was a girl with grey eyes and freckles that
littered across her cheeks. Wild curly hair at the nape of her neck.

She looked so innocent and pure.

"It's okay." I smiled in understanding.

"I'm Bea, by the way," she grinned, dimples showing. "Oh my god, you're Angel right?Oh my gosh.."

This feels like you're suddenly discovering your father is a famous figure.

"Um yeah." I nodded awkwardly.

"You're the one that always has bruises all over your face. " Her eyes widen at her sudden bluntness. Who doesn't want to be known for having bruises due to abuse? This is just the perfect life I've always dreamt of. I'm sorry, but you're well-­known here, and I've always wanted to talk to you."

"Thank you?" I stated, more of a question than an actual answer.

Her eyes widened."No! I'm not in love with you. I have a boyfriend -he's so adorable by the way," Her eyes brightened suddenly, and then as if she remembered I was there, she flushed."It's just I'm writing an article about bullying. I haven't started yet, but if you're interested I'd like to share your story."

"I don't know."

"It's completely fine, take your time, sorry once more." Her grip tightened around her books
slightly,"see you later!"

I waved awkwardly at her retreating figure. "Bye." I really have forgotten how to talk to humans.

What a lovely conclusion.

The bell rang, indicating our first class was about to start.

One thing that I've discovered in my seventeen years of living is that sometimes school seemed like heaven other times I felt like I was burning in hell.

Taking a deep breath, I lugged myself towards my first class.

¤¤¤¤¤¤

"Morning kids." Mr.Raymond greeted.

"Morning."

Two periods of Chemistry. I can't wait to spend every second of the two periods scribbling and drawing on my notebook. What a joy.

¤¤¤

By the time lunch came around, I was starving­. I'm always hungry.

I dropped off the unnecessary book in my locker which, I might add was way too close to the person I was trying so hard to avoid, and I felt I was gonna faint in any second.

"I thought I smelled something, but it's just you." She sniffed, a sly smile playing over her lips."When was the last time you took a shower?"

When people hurt you over and over think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.*

And that's how you handle bullies.

"Did you steal the joke from Sebby Frow? Just a little tip try to hide your jealousy from Sebby, everyone's talking about it."

"Wait, what? Are you trying to create an insult, freak? Did you get this from your dead mum?" She laughed, her laughter sounded like an old man farting.

That's what weak people do, use your weakness against you. Your weakest spot. "Actually my mum will be very disappointed if I didn't slap you."

"She's dead, freak."

"Using my mother an insult, huh? I mean I don't want to stoop low but remember that money doesn't buy happiness and you out of all people know that."

"What did you say, freak ?" She gritted her teeth in anger and poked my chest. For a second, she was staring bluntly somewhere below my face. What kind of a sick idea did she have in her mind? Insulting me and checking me out bluntly?

Did Chloe Stylinson like girls? Or did try to publicly undress her victims with her eyes?

"I said two words. Fuck. Off."

And just like that within a few seconds, I felt something snatch from my neck―― my mother's necklace that she gave me when I was a kid. Silence. Anger crept into my veins and I all I could see was rage. Pure rage.

"You're so fucking dead."

Chloe gave me a distressful smile and I did the only thing I wouldn't regret my whole life. I punched her. Right on her newest nose job and I think she might need to appoint a newest plastic surgery as soon as possible.

"The principal is fucking coming!"

*

The principal was a one big arse hypocrite.

"How dare you cause a scene in school? Do you think how this would affect the school's reputation?" The principal said, clenching his hand in anger. I tried to bite the words that were about to escape.

So now he cares about the school 's reputation? Does he turn a blind eye when it comes to his stepson?

But of course, I couldn't utter these words or I would kiss my scholarship goodbye.

"I apologise, sir, she ruined my mother's necklace and it was the only thing I've had from her. It holds a great value in my heart and it's now ruined, I've been wearing it since I was little. My actions were out of anger and completely unintentional."

Chloe holding a handful of tissues on her nose held her hand up in protest. "She's lying! She knew I had recently a plastic surgery, she even made a comment on it! It was intentional, I could guarantee that. I'm sure if I told my mother she won't be happy if you kept her here, you know."

We both stared at her little slip. Chloe had been denying getting any plastic surgery lately and it was all good massage and lifestyle.

Oh fuck. I totally forget about her mother
―― she owns half of the town and has powerful connections with people of all kind; she was the one who hired my stepfather and made him the respectful man of our town.

"Chloe, dear. I can't expel a student directly without evidence. Your mother will be informed about the incident today and she will make sure to have a talk with Angel's father."

He's not my fucking father. "Thank you, sir, and please keep an eye on your son, I've heard a couple of things."

I knew I had him under my trap when he frowned and pressed his lips in a thin line. "What did you hear?"

No working as a cafeteria lady for the rest of the year. Yes!
" You know, the usual. But it's better to keep an eye open, for our lovely school safety. "

I was one step away from getting away. One step. One fucking step.

"Angel. Don't forget to greet the cafeteria lady. You'll be working with her for the rest of the year."

Wait, does this mean free food? If so, I hope the cafeteria food isn't as disgusting as I had once heard. But since it was expensive as hell, it had to be a little good. Expensive food equals good food. Or so I hoped.

*
Dear Diary,

My happiness is gone when she left, left this world and left me broken. My happiness was always my mother and her husband, but now she's gone and his perfect role had ended. He turned into a monster and I hope for Heaven's sake my mother isn't watching me from above or else if would break my heart to know that's she's watching me break into pieces and she couldn't do anything about it. It was like being trapped in handcuffs and feeling hopeless.

*

"Hey! Hey you, wait!" A blonde boy to be exact said his eyes shone like new growth on the boughs of the trees, free of moss, bright, youthful.

"Yeah?" I said, staring at him confusingly. He was the 'talk of the town' last year when he 'came out of the closet' and spoke about his sexuality.

"Mrs.Horan wants to see you in the biology class now."

And here I thought he wanted to be my friend.

My lips turned into a small smile. "Oh, okay." With a slight frown, I walked passed by him.

Making my way to the biology class, I tried to think as to why the hell would that teacher need me in lunch period.

Little did I know it had nothing to do with Mrs. Horan.

[Dear bully,
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]

H

ello!

Please vote and comment it makes me really happy.

I was making out with R____'s nose.

comment have fun GO CRAZY

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Edit: Thank you for all the love and support. Did you miss me? I sure as hell missed you all x
All the love as always

-H