Now for the past several years, I haven't really been myself, of course I have to find out who that is first, a lot of things have gone wrong and my life has just been a huge mess, especially my love life, I've gone from:

being innocent, yet stupid and a bit naive cause it was my first time being in love so I wasn't sure what to do~

https://youtu.be/Qn1n6xvL_A0

to

being a bit to obessed with love, and going a bit too far, I feel like I might've been in yandere mode that's why my crushes were afraid and creeped out around me~

https://youtu.be/DWlajjJPKFo

to

ending with guys who didn't need, and realizing how much love hurt, but again because of how stupid and naïve I was, I was blind to what the guys I went with really wanted from, I would blame them for hurting me, but then I had some fault in it as well, realizing that hurt me so much~

https://youtu.be/enDaX1T26go

to

still making the same dumb choices, because of being addicted to love, and wanting attention and always wanting to be with someone and saying yes without question despite all the warnings I had gotten, even I was being used, hurt and heartbroken by the people I loved, I hurt myself in the process for loving them~

https://youtu.be/juYOtYvXB64

to

always changing myself for others, still wanting people to notice me and give me attention, still suffering from love, making myself more depressed and paranoid then I already was, feeling hurt, useless, alone and unwanted, not realizing that I was getting the wrong kind of love~

https://youtu.be/Ut1cla0zBp4

to

starting to realize that all the love I was getting was fake, but I still tried to hide it, and go along with life, though it was still hurting me deeply in my soul~

https://youtu.be/cUp71b1zxK4

to 

realizing that I needed to face my problems head on and take a real break from love, and start going solo for a while~

https://youtu.be/bZ-6ULYj2nU

I need to learn that I don't need someone just to make myself feel complete I need to make myself feel complete and have complete confidence in myself you know, so I'm taking a real break from love, in the past every time I say that I end up falling for someone weeks later, but this time I'm serious, I need a real break from love, and some time to myself so I can be able to control these feelings of mine, I  just need to learn how to depend on myself and let myself know that it doesn't take someone else to make me complete it only takes God and myself to make myself complete cuz other people will leave me eventually, but God won't go anywhere, he's always there for me no matter what *smiles* always and forever, after I've do all my mourning or whatever, I  gotta be able to have the confidence to move on, move forward and stand strong, no what who or what tries to bring me down, I mean how can I stand up and be strong and confident for others when I can't do the same for myself, It's nice to have friends around and someone to call my lover, but sooner or later we may end up parting away or someone may pass away, of course I'll be upset, but I must learn that after all my ranting and letting out all my anger, issues and depression out, I got to learn to be independant and move on, move forward, and stand strong, I'm not giving up on love, I just need to take a break from it for while, for those of you who are also having trouble with love you may wanna take that into consideration as well ya know, It might help a bit ^^~

https://youtu.be/9EWsOK9I_8c