Joshua

I woke up with a splitting headache. The light seemed to pierce through my closed eyes and stab at my brain, causing me to groan lightly. As I slowly opened them, I realized I wasn't in my guest room. Instead, I stared up at a white-tiled ceiling, laying on a slightly uncomfortable bed that smelled of antiseptics. I tried to turn my head to the side, but it sent a shock of pain down my spine so I decided not to. Now that I was finally coming to, I couldn't help but feel the pulses of pain that radiated through me like heat flashes. It was painful, but my hangover seemed to overpower the constant pain.

"You're awake," someone spoke up, and as they stood up I realized it was Mark.

I tried to nod my head a bit but that only caused me more pain, so I settled for a small smile. "Where am I?" I asked, my voice slightly scratchy.

Mark reached over to a table and offered me a glass of water. I gratefully sipped from it as he tilted it towards my lips. Once I was done he answered my question. "You're in a medical room right now. I brought you here last night after you passed out."

Oh.

Suddenly, all of the events from yesterday rushed through my head. That's right. Wren, and the drinking, and then I collapsed. My heart felt like it was squeezed painfully as I thought about Wren.

"Josh..."

I looked over at my best friend, seeing the serious look on his face. Had something really bad happened aside from my fainting?

"The doctor thinks you're experiencing a form of rejection. I had to tell them that you found your mate here. You could've seriously hurt yourself otherwise."

I sighed quietly, closing my eyes. Rejection? Was that what had been bothering me for so long now? What had been causing all this pain? I guess I never really thought Wren was rejecting me, but he was, wasn't he? Indirectly, of course, but he was doing it nonetheless.

Was this it? The end? Was I never going to get my fated mate? Perhaps I could find my second-chance mate. I'd have to do something. A beta without a mate meant a beta without an heir. I could be replaced. I didn't want to be replaced. I wanted to stay by Mark's side and work with him until it was our children's turn. We were so close, too. Only a few more months until we'd officially be pack leaders. I couldn't lose my position now.

Mark sighed, running a hand through his hair. "They want to talk with you, the doctor and the alphas. I'll go get the doctor so we can start. I know this isn't what you need right now, but we need to figure out where to go from here." He smiled lightly, adding, "I'm glad you're okay. I was worried I'd lose my best friend."

"I'm not that easy to get rid of," I said with a smile, to which he laughed.

"I know, I know."

Mark then left to find the doctor, coming back a few minutes later with a man. The man came over to me, offering a gentle smile. "Hello, Joshua. I'm Dr. Milton. I'd like to ask you a few questions if you're up for it."

"Sure."

Dr. Milton cleared his throat, grabbing a clipboard from the end of my bed. "Alright, so how long have you felt any pains or discomfort in your chest area for?"

"A week now."

He nodded as if he already knew something, writing it down. Mark did tell me that the doctor thought I suffered from rejection effects, so perhaps these questions were just confirming his suspicions. "Mark said you found your mate your first day here, correct?"

"Yes, I met them my first day here," I answered, shutting my eyes for a moment.

Thinking back on that day makes me realize how blissfully unaware I was of anything. As far as I knew, my mate was ignoring me because he might've been trying to reject me. Little did I know that Wren had no clue that we even shared a bond.

"What happened last night that made you collapse? You've been fine this entire week, right? No other events like yesterday?"

I opened up my eyes again to look at the man, before turning my attention up to the ceiling. "We talked yesterday, it was somewhat serious. Later that night I just felt this pain that had been building up kind of explode and I collapsed. But nothing like that has ever happened before."

The doctor nodded, writing something else down. He looked at me and gave me this sympathetic smile. "I'm sure your friend has already told you what I suspected, but it seems that you're going through rejection. It's been prolonged, and your wolf has probably been absorbing a lot of the pain until now, but now it's starting to affect your body more. Did this serious discussion with your mate have anything to do with rejection?"

"In a way, I guess so," I answered vaguely.

I couldn't tell him that it was about Wren's mate issues. The doctor would probably know right away and he'd have to report to his alpha. I didn't want to make any issues for Wren or anyone else.

The doctor raised his eyebrow at my response, but all three of us turned our heads - well, I tried to - when the door opened and the pack alpha and Mark's mom came in. Alpha Kristen tried her best to not show how worried she was, but I could see it in the slight furrow of her brow as she looked at me.

"I'm glad to see you awake, Joshua," she commented.

"Thank you, Alpha. I'm alright."

It was a semi-lie since I was probably in more pain than I was before I collapsed, but at least I was slowly getting used to it. Dr. Milton then cleared his throat, bowing his head to the alphas as he spoke again, "Alphas, it seems Joshua might be going through a rejection. I think it would be best if we kept him here and bring his mate in."

I sucked in a small breath. No, I couldn't involve Wren. He didn't deserve this burden. Mark must've known what I was thinking because he quickly piped up and said, "Wait, uh, I think if we just keep Joshua here he can handle his mate himself. You all don't need to be troubled with that."

Alpha Kristen looked at me carefully. "Are you sure? We can have this handled quickly and bring them in now," She offered, looking to the other alpha who nodded his head.

"No, I'm fine. I can do it myself," I said, offering a smile.

"He can just stay until he's fixed things with his mate. That's okay, isn't it?"

The two older alphas looked at each other and seemed to be in agreement. "Alright, you can stay for now. Contact us when you're ready to come home," Alpha Kristen told me, to which I gave the slightest nod of my head to not aggravate it. "Mark, we will be leaving in a few hours. Make sure to pack your bags," she reminded him before turning to leave with the other alpha, who offered a small smile to me before following after her.

"As for today, I think you're safe to go, Joshua. Just be sure to talk with your mate soon," the doctor spoke up, giving me a serious look. "If you prolong this for too long, you could seriously hurt yourself."

"Thank you, doctor. I will," I answered back.

He nodded and left the room, leaving Mark and me alone.

"What are you going to do?" Mark spoke up.

I didn't look at him, I couldn't look at him. What was I supposed to do now? Mark bought me time, but how much? How could this end any other way than me losing Wren and having to sever our bond myself? The thought hadn't crossed my mind before because I didn't want to give up on my mate like that, but was this really worth it? Suffering silently while he went on completely unaware? I didn't want to hurt him, but at the same time, the pain of a clean rejection would hurt less in the long run right?

"I... I don't know."

.

.

.

A few hours later, I was allowed to leave and "talk with my mate" as the doctor instructed. Before I could do that, though, I first had to say goodbye to Mark and his mom. Mark smiled at me and gave me a pat on the back. "Good luck. Please talk to him or I swear-"

I nodded my head, rolling my eyes lightly. "I will, for real this time." I went silent before glancing down. "Thanks for giving me another shot at this. I really appreciate it."

"No problem, man. I know you would've done the same for me," he waved it off, offering an even wider smile.

After a quick hug, he turned to the car waiting for him, Alpha Kristen already at the wheel. "Goodbye, Joshua. Don't forget to contact us when you're ready to come home," she called out.

I waved from my spot in front of the packhouse as they drove off, leaving me behind to fix my situation.

"Joshua?"

My heart stuttered in my chest as I recognized that sweet voice. I turned around and offered a small smile as Wren walked over. He looked beautiful as usual, but I could tell he was still in pain over what happened with Erin. The dark circles under his eyes made it apparent. He had on a large sweater that swallowed up his frame even as he crossed his arms across his chest casually, but I thought it looked adorable on him. "What are you doing here? Weren't you supposed to leave with them?"

"I..."

Did I tell him the truth? That I found my mate? But wasn't that just making things worse? He was right there. I could tell him the full truth: that he was my mate and I stayed behind to talk about it. But again, I couldn't.

"I found my mate, so I was allowed to stay and figure stuff out," I admitted slowly, looking away from his face.

"Oh! Congratulations." He paused when he noticed my expression. "Is something wrong with them?"

"What? No," I quickly blurted out, waving it off. "We're just... not exactly in the right place right now. The thing is..."

You're my mate and you're unintentionally rejecting me, my mind filled in, but I didn't dare say it. Instead, I said, "I think we're on the verge of rejection. They have someone else, so they're kind of torn."

Wren's face morphed into a frown and it made me want to take my words back to not see him frown like that. "That's so horrible. You're their mate, and they're yours! Some rando shouldn't get in the way of a sacred bond like that."

He looked at me with a soft smile now, his eyes breathtakingly deep and expressive. A strand of inky black hair fell into his face and I wanted so badly to reach out and put it back in place. "I'm so sorry, Joshua. Hopefully, they will come around soon."

"Yeah, I hope they do too," I said softly, finding myself staring at him for a split second too long.

Wren finally pushed the stray hair into place, looking back at me as well. Goddess, this boy had me wrapped around his finger and he had no clue. I knew that I would do anything for him, but did that include rejecting him so he could be happy with a man that wasn't me?

~~~

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