Getting hurt during runs happened a lot. My wolf was slower and got tired easily. Accidents happened. I was grateful that Erin had stayed behind with me. He didn't have to. But I was surprised when I saw Joshua's wolf off to the side. Why wasn't he up at the front? He was a beta, wasn't he? He could have easily run in front.

My wolf hobbled forward, supported by Erin's. We passed Joshua, who seemed to just be watching. The moment our body brushed against his, though, I felt something odd.

Joshua and I had touched in human form before during that one time in the cafe when I touched his hand and he had froze. And I'm sure there have been other random touches, just like with any other person. The kind that weren't supposed to happen but did because of a twitch in your finger or something.

But this was different. My wolf was the one who felt it. It was warm, almost like a very dull tingle, right where our bodies brushed against each other. It was a single moment, one that should have been insignificant.

I was confused. What just happened? Why did I feel that way? What did I feel? Erin's wolf and mine kept walking, ignoring it but I kept thinking about it. That wasn't normal. Perhaps it was just a reaction to brushing against a stranger in general. Maybe it was just my imagination.

I wished I could glance back at Joshua but my wolf was focused on walking away. He clearly didn't care about what just happened even though he was the one that controlled our body right now. So maybe I didn't have to care either.

Right?

.

.

.

At some point, the pain got to be a little too much for my wolf. He whimpered, telling Erin that we needed to shift and rest for a bit. He shifted first, scooping up my wolf and taking us over to a nearby rock. I shifted as well, still in his lap. A small blush warmed my cheeks, but a voice in the back of my head whispered that something was different.

I ignored it, though. How could anything be different? This was Erin. He was perfect. Looking up at him, I smiled gently. "Sorry, our leg just hurt too badly," I explained softly.

He smiled back, reaching up to brush my hair away from my face. "It's fine. I understand."

He went quiet for a moment, just staring at me. I couldn't help but stare back, captivated by his warm brown eyes. They were like pools of melted chocolate. I didn't think I could ever look away.

"You know I love you right?" He spoke up, his eyes searching my face for something.

"Of course. You tell me all the time," I joked lightly.

"No, I mean it, Wren. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes because you still have a mate out there. I don't want to let you go but you deserve to be happy with your destined partner," he admitted.

My chest tightened up at his words. Was this what he always felt? Didn't he understand that he was the one I was choosing? That I wanted him to be my mate?

I reached up, cupping his cheeks in my hands. "But I'm happy with you right now. Isn't that what matters?" I told him.

A pained expression crossed his face. "No, it doesn't, Wren." He sighed, pulling away from my hands. "I don't know, we just started talking about your mate and stuff and it just got me thinking. I don't want to get hurt in the process, you know? I already lost one mate; I don't want to lose you too. But I can't forget that you have a mate somewhere out there, looking for you. They'd make you happier than I ever could."

I shook my head, feeling a bit frustrated. I was happy with him. He was focusing on something he shouldn't even worry about. "You need to stop worrying, Erin. I'm right here. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Because it's not right, Wren," Erin blurted out.

I was shocked. Why was he dumping all of this on me now? I didn't want to hear him talk about this so I squirmed around, eventually getting out of his arms. I stood up, ignoring the pain in my leg. With arms crossed, I glared down at him. "You're being ridiculous, Erin. I want to be your mate. This isn't the kind of conversation I want to have with you, not when I want to be yours."

Erin looked at me with a conflicted - almost pained - look. "Wren, you know I'm right. We can't lie to ourselves anymore and you know it. Eventually, your mate will find you and they'll sweep you away. I'm... not the right person for you. A-and I feel like we've danced around this topic a lot already."

"Erin-"

"Maybe we should take a break, just so we can clear our heads. I'm not saying I want to let you go. Like I said, I love you so much it hurts, but seeing you ignore your other half would hurt even more. I want you to be happy. So I think we should prepare for when you do meet your mate, whenever that is."

My heart throbbed painfully, tears burning the back of my eyes. He was being irrational, worrying over something that would likely never happen. Didn't he get that? He was making us both suffer over what-ifs and doubts. But I was more angry than hurt. This whole argument was so sudden and extremely bad timing. We were still in the middle of a run for goodness sake! He didn't have to bring any of this up, yet he did. Did he think now was the right time to drop it on me? When I was injured and couldn't run away from him? My anger soon took over and I blurted out, "Fine if you want a break, I'll leave you alone. It's obvious to me this issue is just your fragile ego talking."

"Wren, you're being-"

"I'm heading back."

He watched me turn around and hobble off into the woods, not even bothering to help me. I guess he didn't have to. No, I didn't want him to. I didn't want to look at him anymore. Tears began to blur my vision as I continued to stumble along, my mind brewing with negative thoughts.

Walking naked in the woods with an injured leg - and on a full moon, too - was not the kind of situation I'd ever thought I would be in. My bag was by the lake where everyone else would end the run at so that meant all of my clothes were there too, at least the ones I brought with me. The one good thing was that my leg was slowly starting to heal, but it didn't hurt any less.

Eventually, I saw the edge of the pack territory. I was shivering, my arms crossed to keep in any warmth I had left. Painful, hot tears were still stinging the back of my eyes, some of them having already escaped. I'm sure that some people were back already. I wasn't exactly fast or anything getting back. My theory was proven correct when I saw a few cars driving in, along with a few wolves emerging from the forest. I hurried to the packhouse, knowing I could get some temporary clothes from the common room so I could head home and forget about this entire day.

Luckily no one seemed to notice me as I went inside, coming back out with a random jacket and pants that were a bit too big on me. Thankfully, they weren't Erin's. Wearing his clothes was the last thing I ever wanted to do right then.

"Wren!" Someone called out.

Ryder, his mate, Aaron, Joshua, and Mark walking over, carrying their bags. I looked at them, quickly turning away to wipe my eyes. I didn't want them to know, though I'm sure Joshua could have probably figured something out. He was the last person who saw Erin and me together when I first got hurt.

"Hey, man," Ryder greeted with a smile. "We didn't see you at the lake. What happened? Erin refused to talk about it."

"I got hurt. The usual," I answered, trying to play it off.

"Oh. Heal up, then!"

I smiled at the comment, trying to be nice. I didn't really feel in the mood to talk with them, especially since I could see Erin off in the distance, talking to his father.

"Oh, Wren," Joshua spoke up after everyone went silent, giving me a small smile of his own. "Here's your bag. I wasn't sure if you'd get to it or not, so here."

He handed it to me. "Thank you, Joshua. I guess everyone else had arrived at the lake by then?"

"More or less. Like Ryder said, Erin didn't tell us where you were. Is... everything okay?"

Ryder looked back at me when he heard Joshua. "Woah, what? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing happened," I said with a small sigh. I tried to keep the tears at bay, deciding to tell them. It was better to just let it out now than for them to find out some other time. "Erin and I are... taking a break."

"Did you two get into a fight?" Aaron asked, his arms crossed.

"Yeah. But it's fine, I swear." I put on another smile, thinking now was the time to go. "I'm going to head out. It's late and I have a short walk to do now."

"Here, I'll drive you," Ryder suggested, looking at Aaron for permission.

The other shrugged, giving his silent approval. "Go ahead."

After a few goodbyes Ryder, his mate, and I went to Aaron's car. I sat in the back, looking out at the packhouse. It seemed Erin had waited until I was gone to go over and chat. It made my chest tighten, the tears threatening to come back. Was he really serious? A break? It was such a small argument. Sure, I got where he was coming from but he was taking things too far.

Ryder soon stopped in front of my house, turning around to face me. "Hey, Wren, I know you're probably not in the mood to talk but we can chat for a bit if you need to let some things out," he offered.

I shook my head, opening the door. "I'm fine, Ryder. Don't worry."

"Of course I'm going to worry. You and Erin are two of my bestest friends. Just... take care of yourself."

"I will."

And with that I slid out, closing the door and walking to my door. I waved to them as they drove past, probably going to get something to eat real quick before heading back to the packhouse. The pack was most likely going to celebrate for a bit longer, maybe share a quick drink among the adults or something, then head off for the evening. At this time I would've been with Erin, probably cuddling together in the living room before heading up to his room. I quickly dismissed the thought, not wanting to cry anymore.

If Erin wanted to take a break then fine, we could take a break, but knowing it was because he thought I should be with someone else kind of hurt. I knew, deep down, that he was right. I shouldn't commit to him when I have a mate somewhere out there. And I know that I was using my own weakness as an excuse to cling onto something that could fade away in an instant. It was terrifying.

But I couldn't let it go; I couldn't let Erin go. What could a stranger offer me that Erin had already provided? I didn't get it and I was scared to try. I couldn't experience the mate bond like most people. Did that change things? Did that mean I was broken? Would my mate think that? It was safer to stay with someone who already loved me than go off with some stranger "destined" to be with me.

The sudden pain in my leg reminded me that some rest would be good. So with a broken heart and heavy mind, I went to bed, hoping for Erin's pained face to not haunt my dreams.

.

.

.

I decided that morning that I wouldn't open up the cafe. I was extremely tired, having tossed and turned the entire night, and I just didn't feel like risking interaction with Erin, though I doubt he did either.

It felt odd knowing I wouldn't be able to do normal couple stuff with him anymore. We were together a lot of the time; suddenly stopping that didn't feel real yet. I kept trying to remind myself that it was temporary, that Erin would speak up and say that we were okay again, but it didn't feel like that. It felt like Erin was giving up because of my mate, whom I had no clue if I would ever even meet.

After drifting aimlessly around my house I decided to head out. When I stepped out I was greeted with gray clouds and a gloomy sky. It felt like the sky was mirroring my own emotions. I began to walk, heading into town. Since I didn't open the cafe I decided to go to a different cafe and then maybe head to the library afterward for some light reading. It was better than staying at home with my depressing thoughts.

People waved to me as they passed by and I waved back, putting on a friendly smile. It was better than letting them see me upset. Everyone knew me to be happy and friendly to all, so if I acted like anything different I was sure it'd somehow end up to Erin and that wasn't something I wanted. I didn't want him to know just how broken I was over his decision. He probably knew I was mad at him, I expressed it when he first suggested the idea, but he was set in his decision. He was so stubborn like that.

Soon enough I arrived at the cafe, going in and quickly sitting down at a booth with a window view. I looked out the window and watched people go by, lost in thought when someone suddenly spoke up.

"Wren?"

I almost expect to see Aaron or Ryder, perhaps Ryder's mate, but instead, Joshua stood in front of me, shifting around on his feet. "Oh, hi."

He smiled gently. "Uh, can I sit there?" He asked, pointing to the seat across from me.

I nodded my head, not really sure why he wanted to do that. Maybe he felt bad about what happened between Erin and I. He'd been there when I first got hurt, too, so he was probably just being nice. Joshua sat down, looking at me carefully. "Are you okay? After what happened yesterday, I wanted to check on you."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

I looked at him carefully, folding my hands in my lap. "Why do you care so much? You barely know me, Joshua," I pointed out.

He rubbed the back of his neck, hiding his face from me. "Well, I think anyone who went through something like that deserves a little kindness, right?" He sighed softly, looking at me again. "Weren't you and Erin together for a year?"
"We're still together," I corrected stubbornly before answering the rest of his question. "But yeah, we were- are."

"It must be tough, but I'm sure his intentions were good, right?"

"He's being stupid," I suddenly blurted out, surprising him.

My food was put down in front of me along with a coffee. I smiled at the waiter and they quickly left, leaving me to explain my situation to Joshua. I don't know why I blurted it out, but I felt like I wanted to just let it all out in front of him. He'd been nice enough so far. I hoped he would listen to me and be on my side.

"What do you mean, Wren?" He asked me, frowning gently.

"We're taking a break because he thinks I'll find my mate soon and he doesn't want to get in the way when that happens. He's convinced that I'll leave him even though I've told him over and over again that I have no intention of doing that," I finally explained, gripping my coffee cup tightly to calm myself down.

"Oh."

Joshua remained silent like he was thinking. I'd noticed he did that a lot. It always seemed like there was something important on his mind. Like he had some sort of burden he needed to shoulder constantly. "Do you... really not think you'll find your mate? Ever?"

"Well, honestly? No. I can't sense them for one, and I doubt they'll come up to me and tell me I'm their mate. For all I know I've already met them and they didn't even try. So why bother hoping for something that will never happen?"

"Because what if it does happen?"

I looked at him but he had this faraway look on his face. He suddenly focused back on me, giving a gentle smile. There was something in his expression that made my breath catch. He looked so pained, so sorrowful, like he had to carry the entire world on his shoulders. It pulled at something deep inside of me. I almost wanted to reach out and hold him so he'd feel better, but I stopped myself. "Everyone deserves a mate, including you, Wren. And I think that deep down, you know that too."

After those final words, Joshua smiled and said goodbye. I almost wanted to stop him just to prove a point. I didn't need a destined mate or whatever, all I needed was Erin. Joshua didn't understand that; no one seemed to. The conversation left a sour taste in my mouth, so I quickly finished my little breakfast and left the cafe after paying. I needed to clear my head again. And to think that I'd come out to let my mind have a break.

My trip to the library wasn't even worth it in the end. I could barely focus on the words right in front of me. Joshua's kept echoing in my head. Did I deserve a mate? Well, of course, I did. Everyone did. But I'd already found a mate in Erin, so that didn't make any sense. I didn't want it to make sense. I'd given up on finding my real mate years ago. I wasn't going to set myself up for heartbreak now, not when I was so close to finding true happiness. 

~~~

Okay, I didn't realize this chapter was so long until I saw the word count after posting it into wattpad. I do have a question though: how is this pacing for y'all? Is the story going too fast, too slow, both? I wanna know. If it feels rushed I think it's because I have a lot more to cover so I don't intend on ending it anytime soon, but I also don't want this book to be like 50+ chapters or something. I swear there will be more interesting things ahead and if you find the pacing good, then enjoy the ride XD

Thank you so much for reading <3

Don't forget to like, share, and comment!