Joshua

I watched Wren leave, feeling my frustration well up all over again, tightening in my chest. With a groan, I let my head fall to the counter, trying to calm myself down. A myriad of emotions were flying through me: anger, confusion, jealousy, lust. This entire situation felt almost like a punishment from the goddess.

When Mark first told me I'd have to join him and his mom on a trip to the neighboring pack, I hadn't thought much of it. Since I would be his beta, I knew it was inevitable that I'd have to travel with them. What I didn't expect was to meet my mate here.

Seeing Wren for the first time was something I will never forget. I hadn't seen him when I first walked into the cafe. The rest of the group had blocked my view, but I did smell him. The moment I walked in I smelled the warm and inviting scent of fresh-baked bread and something sweet and fruity, like peaches or something. At first, I thought it was just the smell of the cafe, so I didn't pay attention to it.

But when he walked over, my world was suddenly flipped upside down. Beautiful midnight hair, a fair complexion that practically glowed, and dark, breathtaking eyes that I couldn't look away from. He was enchanting. I felt a sudden need to grab his hand and pull him to me so I could wrap myself in his scent and warmth. And I thought he felt the same way, felt drawn to me through our bond.

Instead, he smiled politely and began taking our orders. When he got to me, he didn't even bat an eye at the fact that I was his mate. It was like he didn't even realize it. I froze up. My mate was staring right at me and hadn't even acknowledged our bond yet. Was this him rejecting me? It had felt like it. My heart was throbbing painfully as if it was trying to escape my chest to reach for him. I ached to touch him, to ask why he was being like this. We were mates. Shouldn't he be claiming what was his?

"He'll have an americano and a blueberry scone, please," Mark interjected for me, breaking me from my thoughts.

Blueberries. He smelled like blueberries, I couldn't help but think. How ironic. Wren then left, but not before looking at his future alpha one last time. Underneath the table, I gripped my pants, trying to calm myself down. My mate hadn't bothered to even ask my name yet he'd given a final look to some other man. I felt even more lost. Mark had given me this concerned look, silently asking if I was okay. I nodded my head, giving a small smile. I could tell him later.

I think one of the things that hurt the most from this encounter was when Wren touched my hand on accident. I immediately felt the sparks between us, could feel my heart swell with emotions I never thought possible. But he pulled away as if it was an accident, as if he hadn't felt what I had. It hurt. My entire life, I'd waited for the moment I could touch my mate and feel the physical representation of our bond. Boy or girl, I was ready to love them with my entire being.

But Wren... I had no clue what to do. I guess I panicked when I asked for his name at the register. I needed to know. If he was rejecting me, I wanted to at least know who he was. Wren. What a beautiful name. And his smile was so dazzling, even if it was one out of politeness. After Mark hurried me out, he stopped me.

"Hey, what's going on? You were acting weirdly back there," he asked me with a frown.

Mark had been my friend since we were in diapers. He knew everything there was to know about me and the same went for me about him. So when he asked me what was wrong, I knew I had to come clean. With a sigh, I told him that I'd found my mate.

"Well, that's great, man! Who is it? Was it that girl cleaning tables next to us? The blonde?" He asked me.

I shook my head.

"It was the owner. The guy who served our table," I admitted.

Mark whistled, nodding his head in silent approval. "He was pretty cute."

I shoved him, walking over to join the rest of the group. Mark quickly caught up to me, grinning widely. "So? Were you getting his number or something? Did you guys talk about it? Oh shit, was that what you were doing?" He began to question me, obviously eager.

"No, sort of, and yes, you definitely interrupted me trying to talk with him properly. He didn't even mention it, not even a bit. He asked me to pay and I asked for his name. He didn't even ask for mine."

Mark paused, his brows furrowing. "What? Was he rejecting you or something? That's a little weird. Maybe he's just shy."

"I have no clue. He didn't seem angry, just... completely indifferent. It was like he didn't even feel our bond."

Mark fell silent after that. We'd gone back to the packhouse to finish the work portion of our trip. The rest of the time we would spend here as a little vacation. I'd gone to my room as soon as it was over, thinking that I needed a little alone time to clear my head.

My mate clearly didn't want anything to do with me. Either that or something happened. Maybe it just wasn't the right time for him to bring it up. Whatever the case, I knew I had to at least try again. Since he owned the cafe, I had hoped to see him in the morning, early enough where we could maybe talk without distractions.

So I'd woken up early the next morning, not at all expecting to see Wren making breakfast, wearing nothing but a large hoodie and some cute, fuzzy socks. I would've been all over him if not for the fact that the hoodie clearly wasn't his. It seemed to mask his wonderful scent and it made me a little upset. He'd look right at me as I came down, his eyes wide. A sudden burst of anger had gone through me. Who the hell saw my mate like that? Who the hell gave him that hoodie in the first place? I could feel the fury coming from my wolf too, but the look Wren gave me showed me just how surprised he was to be caught like that. He looked mortified, so I calmed down. Maybe the hoodie was from a friend or something, a family member perhaps.

But when he told me he had a boyfriend I think my heart broke right then and there. It shattered in my chest, the pieces slicing into my lungs making it hard to breathe. A boyfriend? A lover? Had whoever this was touched Wren before? Had they held Wren close as my mate whispered how much he loved them? It made sense all of a sudden. My chest had begun to ache as I realized I'd lost my mate before I even really had him.

Wren tried to be polite, so I played along. At least I told him my name. He'd quickly left after that, taking the second plate with him. For his boyfriend. So that meant his lover was here, in the packhouse. Who else was here aside from Mark, his mom, the beta and gamma families, and the alpha fami-

"No."

Everything suddenly clicked. Wren was with the alpha's son. It was why he kept looking at the guy so obviously and why the alpha knew him so personally. I didn't know how to feel anymore. I was still extremely mad and heartbroken, but I also felt like an idiot.

Was that what Wren wanted? A gorgeous alpha-to-be with a dazzling smile? Something I could never be? I wasn't an alpha. It wasn't like I was weak either, but I didn't even know if I could compare to the other guy, at least in the eyes of my mate. If he was Wren's ideal type then how could I compete with that?

I was so confused and angry. So, I sat there in thought until I heard footsteps. Looking up, I froze again when I saw Wren come down, followed by the alpha's son, his lover from what I could gather. It was made painfully clear that my suspicions were correct when I saw the guy holding two empty plates. Had I been sitting here for that long? Wren was dressed for the day, his hair slightly damp from a shower. The other guy was also freshly showered and my brain immediately went to a painful thought: maybe they'd showered together.

Wren noticed me and blinked a bit in surprise, turning away quickly to look at his boyfriend. He grabbed the plates silently, hurrying off with them while his lover looked at me with a polite smile. "Joshua, right? Good morning."

"Morning," I answered with a smile of my own but it was extremely forced.

This guy had no clue, but he'd stolen my mate from me before I even got the chance to meet him. I felt a twang of jealousy. He got to be the guy I wanted to be in Wren's life. Why? Why did Wren want to reject me and choose him? Was this it? It felt so... sudden. Like nothing really happened. One moment I'm without a mate, I suddenly find them, and the next moment I'm without a mate again. And Wren refused to talk to me about anything regarding our bond.

"I have to go," Wren suddenly spoke up, the dishes gone from his hands.

His boyfriend turned, giving him a bright smile. He walked over and pulled my mate into a hug, resting his head on top of Wren's. My fists clenched in my lap, all of my effort going into my expression so I didn't give away how hurt I was. If Wren wanted to reject me, then the least he could do was make it official. He just had to say the words. But he didn't say anything. So I was stuck watching my mate touch another male.

"I'll miss you, just like always," the guy whispered but it was loud enough for me to hear.

Wren blushed, leaning up to peck his boyfriend's cheek. "You can visit me at work, Erin. Just like usual."

"I know, but I'll still miss you."

Wren pulled away reluctantly, giving him a gentle smile. He glanced over at me briefly, his smile fading away a bit. And then he was gone, walking out of the kitchen and to me, out of my life.

"So, how long are you guys staying? I know my father offered a week," the guy suddenly asked me.

I shrugged. I didn't even want to talk to him. How could I when all I could think about were my mate's arms around him instead of me. "I think we'll be here for about a week or so. We definitely wanted to participate in your run."

He nodded his head, walking over to lean against the kitchen counter. "Well, feel free to explore a bit. At least the work is done," he said with a laugh.

I smiled weakly, looking away. This didn't feel right. I didn't want to be friendly anymore, so I stood up, giving him a small nod. "I'm going to head back up now. Thank you for the offer. I'll explore later."

I didn't give him a chance to respond as I walked away quickly, heading back to my guest room with a broken heart and stormy brain.

~~~

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