Warm. So very warm. Like a gentle fire warming up my entire body. Had I always felt this cold before? I never realized how empty I'd always felt.

Words, gentle words murmured right by my ear. They sounded so soft, so caring.

"I'll make it up to you, I swear."

Make up what? The warmth left me and I felt myself reach out to hold onto it. Please don't go. I need it. I need-

My eyes slowly opened, becoming aware of the puffiness surrounding them and the way my arm was stretched out, my hand clasped around someone's wrist. I tried to search the darkness for the owner of the wrist, but I could barely make out their form in the dark. My brain felt foggy and blurred like I wasn't quite in reality just yet. Maybe I wasn't and this was all a dream.

The wrist tried to pull away but I tightened my hold, understanding at least one thing: I wanted to keep the warmth as close to me as possible. It was comforting, and I needed comfort. I felt like my world had been turned upside down, which wasn't that far from the truth.

"Wren."

Wren? My name? That voice sounds so familiar, doesn't it? The fog continued to disrupt my mind, but the voice lingered on. Before I realized what was going on, tears were falling from my already-puffy eyes as I sat up on my knees, slowly coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't dreaming. This wasn't a dream, it was reality. Cold, dark, lonely reality.

"Wren?"

That voice again. I knew that voice, how could I not? He'd already done so much for me and we barely knew each other. "Joshua," his name left my lips in a scratchy whisper.

"Come here."

I didn't have to be told twice as I scooted closer, letting my head fall onto his chest, my hand still gripped around his wrist. An arm wrapped around me, pulling me close into his body. So very warm. More tears fell down my face, soaking his shirt. The sobs came next, wrenching from my chest as my heart continued to throb painfully in my chest. The entire day's events had finally caught up to me. Every single painful moment, every emotional confrontation. It was spilling from my heart, leaving me in broken cries of pain and raw emotion I couldn't contain nor understand.

"It's okay, I'm right here," he whispered, rubbing my back.

"Please don't go," I begged quietly, and he responded by pulling me even closer if that was even possible.

"Never."

Assured by his answer, I continued to cry. Everything had just piled up and the dam finally broke. I finally broke.

I don't know how long it was, but eventually, my tears dried up, and my sobs turned to sniffles again. Still, Joshua continued to hold me close. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth that seemed to radiate from his body.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Joshua asked me softly.

"I..." I paused, trying to figure out what to say. Did I even want to tell him? I mean, we'd already shared that emotional moment in the car, so what was one more, right? "Erin kissed me."

Joshua stayed quiet so I could finish my story. I silently thanked him for that. I wasn't sure if I could continue if he'd said anything to that. I was still in shock over it. The most confusing part was that I didn't feel happy or relieved that Erin kissed me. When it happened, I'd felt so dirty and empty. I didn't understand where the sudden feeling came from, and it honestly scared me. But I did understand what it meant.

"He kissed me, but I didn't like it. What you said in the car... it made me realize I couldn't continue. I couldn't keep lying to myself by saying that Erin was enough. He's not enough."

I squeezed my already-closed eyes shut even tighter, my hand doing the same to his wrist. "I feel so horrible. I probably hurt him."

"But you're hurt too, aren't you?"

I opened my eyes, lifting my head to look at him - well, I tried to in the darkness of our tent. Even when my eyes adjusted, I couldn't quite make out his face. Maybe that was okay, though. Not seeing his face didn't mean I couldn't imagine it all scrunched up in concern. He tried to hide it, but I'd noticed when Joshua became worried. His brow would scrunch up every so slightly, and his lips would set into this oddly cute pout that reminded me of-

Huh?

I froze at the sudden thought, realizing what I'd just thought. Since when did I find Joshua or anything else about him cute? The sudden revelation sent another flurry of emotions running through my body. Now that I thought about it, Joshua had always been attractive. Well-styled light brown hair, beautifully expressive hazel eyes that would sometimes appear almost green when he was happy, a lean and muscular frame from his beta genes and training regiment no doubt, and a dazzling smile that could make anyone swoon.

My heart decided now was the time to pick up speed in my chest, the sudden thump thump thump echoing in my ears. I continued to look up at what I assumed was Joshua's face, shocked by my emotions. How could they do such a one-eighty in such a short period of time? I was sad just a moment ago, but now...

"Wren?"

His voice again, filled with that sweet worry, brought me out of my thoughts. It was a soft whisper, one that I had to lean in a bit to hear better. "Wren, I have to tell you something."

Great goddess, what is happening to me? My heart continued to beat quickly, the sound drowning out everything else. I leaned in closer, now able to make out his eyes, slightly glowing in the dark. They drew me in even closer until I could feel his breath against my face.

I heard his breath hitch a bit, his eyes flickering across my face as he tried to search for something. A knot began to form in my stomach, anticipation for something I didn't quite understand yet boiling deep inside of me.

And before I even knew what I was doing, my lips were pressed against his. 

The moment our lips touched, as cliche as it sounded, fireworks exploded in my body. Erin, the others, my worries, and our surroundings faded away into bliss. My entire being was suddenly lit with an intense burning - an intense longing - and I found myself pressing harder. Joshua froze in surprise before he started to kiss me back. His mouth began to move against mine, his hand moving up to gently cup my neck as we continued to kiss. My heart continued its fast tempo, but I didn't care. This felt good. Too good.

I pulled away for a brief moment to try and recollect my thoughts - to try and rationalize what was going on - but Joshua silenced my brain by kissing me again. I went blank. My brain refused to object as the burning between us continued to blaze. It felt like molten lava was traveling through my veins, warming me up to my very core. My eyes closed as I yielded to the pleasure that seized my body.

Joshua's tongue was suddenly searching for entrance into my mouth, to which I granted without a single thought. There was no battle for dominance as I relented to his exploration, my hand moving down to intertwine my fingers with his.

Slowly - and very reluctantly - Joshua pulled away ever so slightly, our lips still brushing as we breathed heavily. Silence filled the tent aside from our slightly rushed breaths for air.

And the spell that had trapped us both suddenly shattered. Regret washed over me, a cold bucket of dread putting out any flames I felt inside my body. My hand snatched away from his, my brain finally catching up with my actions.

I kissed Joshua. I kissed Joshua. Joshua who had a mate, a mate who might be one of my best friends, a mate who wouldn't appreciate me kissing their mate.

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?" Joshua asked in dazed confusion, but I scrambled out of his loosened grip before he could continue.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, my hands coming up to hide my face even if he couldn't see it. "I'm so so so sorry. I didn't mean to. It was an accident. Goddess, please forgive me, I'm so sor-"

"Wren!"

Warm hands grabbed at my slightly shaking ones, bringing them away from my face. I refused to look at Joshua, humiliation burning in my cheeks. I kissed a mated man. He was probably disgusted with me now. How could I let this happen? How did this happen? It was so sudden, but it had felt so right. It still felt right, and I scolded myself heavily for it.

"Wren, it's okay," Joshua tried to assure me, but I wasn't having it.

"No, it's not! How could you say that, Joshua? I kissed you! You have a mate!"

And that mate could be Aaron for all I know!

"Wren, my mate-"

"Would be heartbroken if they found out someone else kissed their mate. It was a mistake, I swear. I don't know what came over me. I-"

"It wasn't a mistake. I kissed you back," Joshua reminded me.

That sent me further into hysterics. "You kissed me back! Why? Why would you kiss me back? You have a mate! I have a mate, somewhere out there. We shouldn't have done this. We shouldn't have-"

I was silenced by Joshua's lips covering mine again, and for a split second, all of my worries dissipated, but they came back full force the moment he pulled away.

"Joshua, why would you do that?" I asked, my voice strained with guilt.

"Wren..."

He paused, and I swear I felt the atmosphere in the tent begin to buzz when he spoke next.

"It wasn't a mistake. I kissed you back because I wanted to."

"Why? Y-you have a mate..."

Joshua let out a small, humorless laugh that did funny things to my stomach. "I do have a mate. But it's okay."

"But why is it okay? How is it okay?"

Something about this conversation should've warned me. Something about the way this all happened should've guided me to the truth. I should've caught on sooner. But I didn't, not until the truth stared me right in the face.

"You're my mate, Wren."

~~~

So... it finally happened, eek! I didn't expect them to kiss so relatively early, but it just felt so perfect idk. I want their story to be messy and not perfect at all, and that was the right moment to make it not-so-perfect and verrrryy messy XD

Did you think it was okay? What about Erin? What's going to happen with Wren and Joshua now? 

Stay tuned for more insanity lol

Thank you so much for reading <3 

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