Chapter 13 - The truth

It's finally Tuesday, the day I hoped wouldn't come, the day I'll see my father again after three years.

Not only did I wake up knowing that I would see him today, but also that James left with his ex yesterday.

Looking through the glass door, I try to spot him sitting by the counter, but I find his seat empty. I push the door open and walk inside, each step feeling like I was backstabbing myself.

He isn't here yet. He's always here before me. Maybe he got caught up in the traffic?

I sit on my stool and order my drink.

"You know, we should name this the Avery Special," Gema jokes, and leaves my milkshake on the counter.

I smile. "I'd like that. Have you seen James?"

She frowns. "Not yet, but I don't think he is coming. No offence, but yesterday you had a nasty argument"

My lips part. I knew he could not come; I was trying to convince myself to stay away, but my legs took me here. It seems weird the idea of him not being here, not being with me.

Is he really not coming? Did he decide I'm a lost cause and gave up on coming here? Is he with his boyfriend?

I spent most of the night trying to convince myself to avoid this place, nevertheless; I am here and I don't want to leave, not without seeing him.

He has to be here; he has to be here so he can forgive me and love me!

Why did I have to fuck this all up?

I focus on the door, waiting for him to enter, counting the seconds. But nobody crossed that door in fifteen minutes. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I shouldn't be looking. If I turn around, I might get surprised by his presence.

So I turn back to the counter, staring at my milkshake and taking turns between sipping or stirring with the white and red striped paper straw.

He'll show up. He's not ditching me. I didn't ditch him on our date, he can't leave me! He can't!

No, he can. I betrayed his trust. He can do whatever he wants. I would not show up, anyway. Guess I'm the bitch now.

"Avery?" Gema joins me again. "He's not coming, don't waste your time"

I shake my head and press my palms against the counter. I'm not ready to give up just yet. He has to get his ass here right now so we can figure things out.

"Seriously, he's not coming. Go to school," she presses.

I shook my head once more, fingers white with the pressure of the clench. There's no giving up. I'm waiting. I never liked someone in my life as much as I like him.

My phone started buzzing, and Courtney's ugly picture showed up on my screen. She's probably afraid I'll ditch her again.

"Avery!" Gema scolds me.

But then again, I never hurt or was hurt by someone as much as we did to each other. No, that's a lie. He would never hurt me as Parker did. What Parker did to me was destroy me inside out and I thought I was okay, but maybe I'm not...

He's not coming.

It's simple. He's not coming, and it's over.

Bye James, I wish it had worked out... guess it wasn't meant to be...

I get up, toss my bag over my shoulder and blast the music on my headphones as loud as possible, holding my tears back.

My feet felt like cold hard stone pressing the concrete, heavy steps leading me out of the coffee place, towards the school. Still, I couldn't help the water that gathered on the verge of my eyes from falling down my face.

I push my hands against a wall, bending forward, and cry. I cry because it's all my fault, because I'm probably never going to see him again and I cried because this should've never happened.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to the face of an angel, a light-haired, short angel. I almost don't recognise him. He's different. I haven't seen him in 3 years, but then again, I suppose I changed too.

"Why are you crying in the middle of the street?"

"Louis!" I yell in happiness and throw my arms around him. "What are you doing here? Weren't you in Wales?"

"I was, but not anymore. You're dodging the question, why were you crying?"

I let go of him and avoid his eyes. "It's stupid, you don't want to hear about it"

"Oh, come on!" he made his 'spill it,' face. "You're my twin, of course I want to hear about it!"

I sigh, "Yeah, I gotta go to school..."

He rolls his eyes at me. "Fine. Go to school, I'll walk with you and you tell me what's going on."

He walks, and I stay where I am, looking at him dumbfounded.

"Are you coming or what?" he asks, and I join him. "So, what worried you?"

I take a deep breath and tell him everything, from the day we met to what he said yesterday.

"And that means we're done," I sigh.

We reach school, and I'm ready to say goodbye and face the tiresome way of hell, aka P.E.

"Well, I'm terrible with relationship advice, but it sounds like there's nothing to do. I mean, it's not like you can barge into his house and demand him to accept your apology"

"Right," it's not a bad idea though "I'm going to class... See you around?"

But then, I notice he is walking inside the school too. "More than you expect," he smirks.

He's attending my school?

We part ways, and I go to the changing rooms so I can head to P.E.

The day passed way slower than I wanted it to. I talk to Courtney about what happened, and I am avoiding Mathew.

At lunchtime, it is just the two of us, until it isn't. Louis gets here first, sitting to my right and smiling.

"Hello, girls. Courtney, hadn't seen you in ages, the long hair looks great on you" is his first sentence, because that's Lou and Lou isn't a sentimentalist, he is practical and awkward.

"Oh, hi! When did you get here? I thought you were in Wales," Courtney asks.

"Yeah, but I was transferred. Now I'm all yours," he smiles. "And Chris? Jade?"

I shrug. "Chris is at university. We still text a lot and sometimes he shows up to hang out with us. Jade is in the US, so we don't see her that much, but we face time every Saturday."

"I was going out with Kyle and Reed tomorrow and I was thinking if Chris was in London too, he could come with us," he says between bites, and I almost choke on my food. "I was talking about that with Reed this morning"

"Reed? Reed is here? In London?" I ask, incredulous. Reed is probably one of the few friends I had in NAA that I never saw again. He finished school the year I joined, and I never saw him again. How long has it been? Five? Six years? I can't say I didn't miss him, but honestly, it's been so long I can barely remember him... his voice, his face...

"Yeah. You guys didn't know? He's been here since he finished middle school."

We didn't have time to process the information because in the next second Mathew left his tray fall on the table, sitting on my left.

"Hello girls," he says with a smile. "Did you hear about what happened to Miss Thomas? She didn't come to work today. Everyone's saying she twisted her ankle and we're free of her for the next weeks"

Well, that'd be great!

"Who are you?" Louis asks from my side.

Mathew looks at him for the first time. "I'm Matt. Who are you?"

Louis gives his hand for Mathew to shake it. "Louis Vizcaya at your service. You can just call me Louis or Lou or Viz."

He nods, squinting as if he was accessing something, and takes Lou's hand to shake it right above my lunch tray. If their sleeves get soaked in my soup, it's on them.

"So, who are you in the school's social standards?" Lou asks him, "The nerd, the loner, the popular... the playboy?"

The last one made him open his mouth in surprise and he answers with a smirk "Let's say I'm that, the last one," then he turns to me "As much as I love spending this lovely time with you, my friends are waiting for me. Also, I'd like an answer to that question I made you before"

And he left.

I guess now it doesn't matter if James is or is not comfortable with me befriending Mathew.

The rest of the day is spent at that slow pace that just makes me want to go home. However, I don't want to go home because today I have that dinner with my father.

When I am finally heading home, I find Mathew again, sitting on the stairs, scrolling on his phone. I sit next to him to delay my arrival at that terrible meeting.

"Hey," I breathe.

He looks up but doesn't smile. "Hey."

"To answer your earlier question, I'd like to be your friend"

He rests his head back, looking at the sky, "Friends... I think I never had a girl friend... What is it like now?"

"We watch cheesy romances and talk about boys," I joke, "And we go shopping."

"I see... I don't like romances, but I like Marvel"

"I like scary movies" I add and he looks at me with wide eyes and a panicked expression.

"No!" was all he said, a finger pointed right at my face.

I laugh so hard at his expression I can't breathe.

When I finally put myself together, I get up "I rarely make friends with people who saw me naked but there's a first time for everything"

It is his turn to laugh, and I go home to help my mum when we part ways.

She is cooking, and I offer myself to set the table.

"So, you didn't tell me, how did it go with that boy you like?" she asks at some point.

I don't need a reminder of how I screwed up my love life.

"It didn't. He didn't forgive me and I don't think I'll ever see him again." There's also no reason for me to go to WOTT anymore.

"Oh, honey," I hear her saying and feel her hugging me. I want to cry, but my eyes are dry. "I'm sorry"

"It's okay, it is my fault anyway," I said in a hoarse voice, hiding my face in the crook of her neck. I just want to dig a hole, hide inside of it and never come back out.

The bell pulls us apart, and my mum answers it. All the feelings of today are pushed to the side as I stand next to a chair, feet glued to the ground. Peeking through the door to the hall, I spot him, the man I haven't seen in four years, standing in front of my mum with a big smile and a present in his hands.

His hair is shorter, he grew his beard, he's clean. His clothes are pretty neat, not the stained, wrinkled shirts he used to wear.

Mum shows him the way to the dining room and I hide back, my mind racing as I try to figure out what should I do.

Before I can decide, they enter the room, and my breath is caught in my throat. This isn't right, he left us!

Anger and sadness surface, but I'm quick to shut them down. I'm not making this harder for my mum than it already is.

He stops when he finds me, his eyes looking me up and down in shock, probably questioning what happened to the tiny girl he used to know.

Well, you'd know if you were here.

I can't even describe the anger that is injected into my veins when I see the smile forming on his lips.

"Avery" is all he says before stepping forward.

Does he want to hug me? Does he think I want to have physical contact with him at all?

My first instinct is to step back, but as I see my mum's distressed look, I stop and let the embrace happen.

I have the urge to kick him where the sun never shines and give him a piece of my mind, but I don't. This is going to be peaceful and end quickly.

We sit at the table, and dinner is served. Mum tries to chat with him, so this isn't awkward, but I see the anguish in her eyes. I focus on my plate, yet who he really wants to talk to is me.

"So Avery, how's school?" he asks.

Seriously? Four years and he's asking me about school?

"It's okay, I'm having good grades."

He nods with a smile. "That's good. Do you still hang out with that girl, Charlotte?"

"It's Courtney, and yes, I do"

My father keeps talking and talking and talking and I keep giving him brief answers. He is annoying me, coming here after years and trying to get back into my life. And worst, asking nosy questions.

"Is your mother treating you right?"

"Yes, of course!"

"You know, now that you're eighteen, you can choose who you want to leave with."

Is he serious or does he just have a brain tumour?

"The reason I came here is that I want to invite you to my wedding"

My head jerks up in sync with my mum's. Is he kidding?

"I met this woman. Her name is Lisa. She's amazing and I'm sure you're going to love her." he explains. "We're getting married and I want you to come to our wedding. And maybe... come live with us and the baby..."

Is he saying this in front of my mother? His ex-wife? He really has a tumour, doesn't he?

"She'll be like a mother to you."

Okay, that's it, I'm done.

"Get off my house," I say in a neutral tone.

"Excused me?" he asks.

This time I look at him in the eye and yell "Get the fuck out of my house!"

His eyes widen, and he searches for help from my mother.

"Are you going to let her talk to me like that? That's how you raised her?"

"Either you get out right now or I go," I threaten.

"Sit down right now, young lady," he orders me. "You don't talk back to your father."

"You're right, I'm sorry," I say.

I get up and left the house as quick as I could, hearing my parents calling after me.

I ran. I ran a lot. Ran with no set course. Just ran away, not paying attention to where I was going. Just ran. Crying for the second time today.

The night is chilly. The icy wind cut my face harshly, my tears fell to the sides of my face.

I only stop after what seems like hours. When the sidewalk I'm walking on stretches itself with no visible ending, I can't recognise my surroundings. I try to understand where can I be, but I don't know.

I can't be that far away... can I?

Bracing myself, I try to shield my slight frame from the wind. Should've brought a jacket. I'm not going back home, not yet.

I fetch my phone from my back pocket and dial Courtney's number. I place it next to my ear and wait, but she doesn't pick up.

I leave a voicemail instead.

"Hey, love. I'm sort of homeless right now and I don't know where I am, so when you hear this, I kind of need a place to crash."

I shove it back in my pocket and keep walking. The street is just a long line of buildings next to each other. There aren't many cars passing by, just one or two from time to time. I keep looking for something that might click in my mind so I know where to go, but even though the place looks familiar, I don't know where I am.

I hear a honk of a car behind me and start walking faster. Fear struck me. Why did I have to leave the house?

Suddenly, the car reaches me, and the guy drives right next to me.

"Hey" the guy calls me and I stop, recognising the voice. "What are you doing here in? It's freezing outside"

"What do you care, James!?" I shoot back, mad that he didn't show up this morning.

"I care that you're going to get a cold, get in the car."

Ladies and gentlemen, when a stranger tells you to get in their car, you run away. When someone you know but don't trust tells you to get in their car, you run away. When someone you don't have a kinship with tells you to get in his car, you run away. And when the guy you love pretty much leaves you and then tells you to get in his car, you tell him to fuck off and run away. Unless you're pretty stupid. Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Avery and I'm pretty stupid.

I sit in the leather seat and he drives off. The warmth of the car making it worth it.

"Do I take you home?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No, not home. Actually... I don't have anywhere to go..."

He presses his lips together and glances at me for a split second before turning around and stopping in front of one building.

James gets out of the car and I have no choice but to follow, not sure what am I supposed to do. He locks the car and his hand is on the small of my back, leading me towards a lobby where an old man is sleeping against the newspaper on the desk.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

We take the elevator up to the second floor. "My loft. Well, I'm going there, you can do whatever you want."

I nod, still trying to warm myself up with my arms.

He walks to the door saying 2G and opens it, letting me get in first. I walk in and the cosy space and warm temperature welcomes me. He closes the door and throws the box of pizza that only now I notice, to the kitchen table.

The loft is simple. Kitchen and living room sharing the same space, with two closed doors on the right and one on the left. Walls of white and dark furniture decorating the place.

"Finally!" a male voice shouts from a room which's door opens loudly "Pizz... Who's the girl?"

"Oh, mm... I'm Avery, nice to meet you"

He looks familiar. I don't know why, but I feel like I had already seen him before.

"Mmm... Do I know you?" he asks, looking at me weirdly. "Did I ever sleep with you?"

"Bro!" James scolds him.

"No, not that I'm aware. No," I answer.

"Okay, whatever. Is she staying for dinner?"

I look at James and he shrugs like it is whatever I want, so I nod.

We sit around the tiny table in front of the TV, watching Ocean's 8 and eating pizza.

"Man, I love movie night, but the films you pick suck," the roommate says, and James rolls his eyes.

"I like it," I say. "Never saw one of these before but it's cool"

He huffs, "Well, the only thing he seems to like is scams and frauds."

"Maybe you're the one with poor taste," I offer.

James smiles lightly, and we share a look. The other guy points at James with an outraged look plastered all over his face.

"Did you just made him smile? He smiled! Did you just make James fucking Wick smile?"

I blink in confusion, lost in his dramatic reaction. James went back to his usual scowl with an eye roll.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you joking? That guy never smiles" he says and turns to him "Wow, she must have you whipped".

That was worth a pillow thrown to his face and a scowling James.

Not knowing what to do with that information, I kept quiet. I knew he was a reserved person yet; I assumed he was more open to the ones he was close to, the same way he blossomed slowly with me.

I shouldn't get my hopes up based on a stupid comment. I mean, he left me yesterday. He basically said that we're done.

The matter dies out, and the roomie goes to bed as soon as the film ends, leaving James and me alone on the sofa.

"So... are you staying the night?" he breaks the silence and I swallow.

What now? I don't know what to say to him. I don't want to go back home, but barging on him doesn't sound very appropriate.

"If you're okay with it, I'd like to stay," I say.

He nods. "Are you going to tell me why aren't you home?"

I sigh.

He knows what happened between my father and me. I told him everything about me, just like he told me about himself. Talking to him won't make it worse.

"My father is back. We were having dinner." I bring my knees up and hug my legs. "He was all about how he changed and has a new family. He even invited me to his wedding. It's ridiculous, right? Saying that we weren't good enough of a family... I just couldn't be there anymore."

He is quiet for a moment, looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes.

"You know, when my dad died, I had just fought with him. It was a stupid argument now that I think about it and I regret it every day. I'm not telling you what you should do or feel, but if I was in your place right now, knowing what I know now, I'd give him a chance."

Three coffee stains. I count three coffee stains on the carpet as he talks about it.

I know he regrets not spending more time with his dad when he was alive, but the situation is completely different. Maybe he's right, but the thought of letting my father in again is enough to make my blood boil.

Four years avoiding my calls, my letters... I can't just forgive him like that.

"Are you going to tell me why weren't you there today?" I ask, changing the subject. "I waited for you... To apologise again. You don't want to hear it, I know, but... I'll apologise a thousand times if I need to."

I feel his eyes on me. The stain on the left is darker than the others.

"I found an old friend of mine on my way there. We lost track of time. I didn't stand you up on purpose."

My eyes met his. "So you weren't with your boyfriend? Are you not mad at me anymore?"

"I told you I was done with Joshua. And yes, I'm still mad at you"

I ignore the last part "But yesterday you left with him!"

"He came to me to talk, but that was it"

I blink. I rushed to think about things and now I'm embarrassed.

I look down again and feel this stupid anger towards myself surfacing.

"You're right to be mad at me, I was very immature," my voice is strangled. "You're right in calling me a kid. I'm so sorry for everything, please, forgive me!"

Tears build up in my eyes, but I refuse to let them out.

When I gain the courage to look up, he wears a gentle smile.

"Sorry I called you a kid, I didn't mean it." he says "I took you for granted and you aren't. I should've never got involved with Joshua knowing that you existed. I didn't take you seriously."

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" I ask.

He laughs. "Yes, yes, I am. I admitted my mistakes. I didn't say I was okay with yours"

"Oh," I say, "But we're cool, right?"

"We're getting there," he explains. "I understand that technically you don't own me a thing, but we agree that we both acted wrong. Right?"

I nod.

"Now let's get you a place to sleep"

He gets up and pushes me along.

"I can sleep on the sofa"

"Of course not. You can stay in the bed, I'll sleep on the sofa"

I try to argue but he doesn't leave me an opening and forces me into the door on the left, right behind the sofa.

His bedroom is simple, the least decoration possible. One bed, one wardrobe, one desk full of school stuff. Nothing more, nothing less.

From the wardrobe he grabs a t-shirt and a pair of pyjama bottoms, tossing them to me.

"I don't know if this fits you, but you can wear whatever you want"

"Thank you," I smile.

"Okay... I'm going to get blankets from Kyle's room. I'll be back in a second," he says and leaves.

I change into his pyjama whilst he is out, only the bottoms are too big for me. I put them aside, dressed only with the shirt that looks like a dress on me, covering half my tights.

I look around the small bedroom, running the tips of my fingers through the dark wood of the desk in the room's corner. All the furniture is dark against the white walls.

Paper, paper and more paper are scattered all over it, books and notebooks written in a blue pen.

A small frame rests on the corner, one picture inside it.

My breath catches in my throat when I recognise it. Me, Courtney, Jade, Beth, Louis, Chris, Reed and Kyle on the tennis court. The day NAA played against JHS.

How does he have this?

Everything comes crashing. Everything about him that felt familiar, but I never knew why.

As if to confirm my fears, Kyle shouts from the other room, "Fuck off! What part of don't get in my room while I'm asleep, don't you understand, Reed?!"

I feel the air being sucked out of my lungs and panic finds its way into me.

How did I not see it? Does he know? Is he pretending he doesn't know?

James shows up at the door seconds later, blankets under his arm. He stops when he sees my livid face.

My voice is no louder than a whisper when I say, "Reed?"

"It's just a stupid nickname," he shrugs.

He doesn't understand. He doesn't know.

I clench my fingers around the frame, and he stares at it. Confusion takes place in his face.

"What's wrong?" he frowns. "Those are just some friends I had when I was in middle school"

"Yeah, I know," I breathe "I was there"

His eyes find mine, and I watch as his face goes from uncertainty to understanding.

"AJ?" He guesses and I can't decipher his expression.

Before I know it, I'm hugging him as if I am seeing him again after five years.

He hugs me back, and for the third time today; I cry.

I cry against his chest for no significant reason for this time. I guess I cry because it was a very emotional day.

"It was you all along. How did I not see it?" I mumble.

"You're different," he notices. "You're beautiful"

I smile shyly. He's different too. His hair is in its natural colour and he's taller, stronger. The only thing that remains the same is his eyes.

I don't know how to feel about this new information. I'm happy because I found my childhood friend again. However, romantically, I feel weird for being in love with Reed, of all people. I mean, I never saw him as anything but my friend. How does he feel about this?

"What... what does this mean?"

He looks at me with that neutral expression of his "I don't know."

☕☕ ☕

Hello guys!

How you doin? (No, I'm not hitting on you, it's a legit question, not a Joey pick up line)

So, let me check my list for this chapter:

1) Bring Jade back

I like Loui better

2) Kill Matt to annoy vxy

Nah, let's just make her think I'm going to do that so we torment her and she never reads the a/n anyway so she won't read this

3) Make Matt and Avery friends ✅

4) Big revelation ✅

What do you guys thought of 4? Is it credible? Probably not. Makes the story cuter? Probably not either. Reason's to make Reed/James a thing? None but let's so it anyway.

Hope you like it!

kisses from the province of Spain